Be in My Life (Fifth Book in Life Series)

Chapter 11

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
~Jason Mraz, I Won't Give Up, 2012 

I didn't say anything back to Logan after he confessed his love for me. I couldn't. He stayed for dessert, the movie, and is still here while I put Ashton to bed. 

I see him sitting on the couch, reading something on his phone. I take a deep breath. 

"What did I say to you during our last conversation that night?" I ask. 

"You said that you thought you loved me," he says, looking directly at me. I know that he just said the truth. 

"Then that is my answer to your confession from earlier," I reply. "I am falling for you, Logan. I don't love you completely yet but I can tell you that my heart is falling for you." 

"I want you to also know that you said other things that I fear you think are true." 

"What did I say?" 

"You said that you weren't pretty," he says. 

"What did you say to that?" I ask. 

"I told you that I think you are the most beautiful girl in the world," he replies, standing up from the couch. "Because you are." 

"You have never not been honest with me," I begin. "I know that you meant what you said." 

"Do you choose to believe it though?" 

"Clearly that night I was being very open about me insecurities," I say. "In your eyes, I am pretty but in mine, I see an average girl. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. If to you I am beautiful, then I want to try to believe the same for myself because I hate being insecure about these things." 

"It's getting late," he says instead. "I should head home." 

I let him walk out the front door into the pouring rain and I feel the tears escaping my eyes, like the rain escaping the clouds. Then I run. I run out there into the rainstorm and immediately I am drenched with water. 

"Logan!" I say into the cascading water that feels as if I am under a waterfall. 

He turns around and faces me. "Ellie?" 

"I have never felt this confident until now," I begin. "You would give me the world on a silver platter. You would move mountains for me. You love me which is one of the greatest gifts anyone can give to a girl like me. There isn't anything you wouldn't give me. But I can only offer love in return. I am not rich but I can be rich in the little things. Damn it, Logan. You are amazing and wonderful and kind and supporting and you believe in me. In everything you do, there is love. I want to be with you more than you know but I don't know why you want to be with me. I have been told by many people that love is simple but I think it is complex, love is selfless, love conquers hate, love is beautiful, love will hurt, love can heal all wounds. But there is one more I want to add to that list. Love is you," I say with tears falling down my face. 

Logan walks up to me and stands so close, I can feel his heat radiating off of him. He looks me in the eyes. His eyes are navy blue with flecks of gold that to me resemble stars. He wipes the tears off of my cheeks ever so gently. But they continue to fall. 

"What do you have to cry about?" He whispers. 

"I am crying because any girl would be beyond lucky to have a boy like you but you chose me," I admit. 

"I don't like seeing you cry. I hate to see pain in your beautiful brown eyes." 

"When I am with you, I feel everything but pain." 

He leans down and kisses me softly on the lips.