The Answer Lies in the Truth

Chapter 14

It was nice to get out of the hospital. I felt a bit better after having three straight days of just sleep and one day of hanging out with my best friends.

I had a TON of homework to do now though. Missing two days of school really does you in. Apparently in the two days I was gone three teachers assigned projects, one teacher did a video lesson that I had to take notes on, and the others assigned fifty worksheets.

I felt like I was going to pass out again just from the sheer magnitude of work placed upon me. That was until Michael told me he'd help me cheat. He texted some people and gave me some answers to the questions. He let me copy his notes and ultimately I got finished with most of the work within two and a half hours. (Which was a new record for me it usually takes me at least four.)

He came over to my house to play video games and talk about the projects we were working on. I would have come over to his house today because usually we like smoking weed in his basement on the weekdays, but I was still in house arrest by my parents. They took the doctors orders like gospel when she said I should stay in "house care" and not be "too stressed."

When he came over we played some AoD and kicked some zombie ass. "Dude, you have to go through the other fuckin' door!" I yelped.

"I'm fuckin' trying!" Michael laughed as his character glitched through the door. His character screamed and moaned as it got stuck in the door, cut in half with the butt facing me. We glanced at each other before bursting out in giggles as the continuous screams and cries of his character made the situation more ridiculous. I tried to hit him out of the door with my characters axe, but it only intensified the sounds. Now Michael's character's butt was bleeding, and his health was slowly decreasing. We both watched in sick fascination as Michael's brave character screamed itself to a slow death of blood loss.

I made my character walk on and jump off a bridge into some spikes so we could start the game over. It was a two player game, and I couldn't continue without Michael. I made a long speech before I jumped off that could be summarized by, "My idiot companion got stuck in a door and bled to death, but I find I cannot continue because of all the pain of losing my companion. Therefore I shall jump off a bridge to remember him and see him in hell." Michael was giggling so much through the speech his stomach hurt by the end of it.

We continued on and little mistakes and stupid glitches made our gameplay the best. It got quiet as we both were focusing on the gameplay. Before we entered into the main arena room of the game Michael paused it. "What'd you do that for?" I asked looking at him.

"Jer, remember when you were talking in the cafeteria the other day?" Michael asked messing with the bottom of his hoodie.

"Uh, dude you're going to have to be more specific." I said getting up from the floor and stretching. I offered a hand to Michael and he took it and stood. We walked over to my bed and I sat on it. He sat in the other side. I flopped down and looked at the ceiling. I could feel Michael do the same.

"The day you were talking about who Red might be." He said after a short pause of breath.

"Oh, yah, sort of, what about it?" I asked yawning and picking out the constellations of my ceiling.

"Well, have you found out who Red is yet?" Michael asked, he sounded disinterested. I guess he was just curious.

"Not really, I mean, I have some suspects still, but not enough hard evidence. The one I think it might be is Madilyn. I still haven't talked to her. Or maybe it's Jenna, she's good with technology. Heck I don't even know if it might be Heather!" I said exasperated.

"Dude, you could not get a Heather."

"Yah...a man can hope right?"

"Sure dude," I felt Michael shrug.

"What about your life, man? Any progress on that crush?" I asked feeling a bit sick when I said the word crush.

"No, they seem oblivious as ever." Michael sighed.

"Whoever it is must be missing out, or an idiot, because who wouldn't want you man! It's whatever anyways because you're a strong independent man who don't need no woman!" I said beating my chest and laughing. Michael didn't answer. I felt like he wanted to say something. "Dude," I whispered, "if you're are trying to tell me something go ahead, I won't judge you. I'm your best friend, and your Player 2, I couldn't do half of all the cool shit that I do without you. You know that." A long time passed before I heard Michael open his mouth.

"I'm not...I'm...I'm...I mean..." He started then sighed. "I'm sorry Jeremy...I just can't tell you." I felt like someone stabbed a cold shaft of ice into my chest. "It's personal and I'm too afraid of what you'll think after I tell you."

I sighed and nodded turning my head to look at Michael. His glasses were fogged up and he had tear tracks down his face, but his eyes were dry when I looked over. I wanted to take off his glasses and stroke his face until the tear trails couldn't be seen. I wanted to hug him and tell him I was here for him. I wanted to play with his hair until we both fell asleep and I would hold him as we both drifted off.

Instead I hugged myself and stood up from my bed. "Dinner will be soon man, you staying?"

"No, my mom wants me over so she can check on my bruises. They're almost gone." He said sitting up and giving me a small smile that broke my heart.

"Okay, see you then..."

"See you."

When my door closed I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. At eleven I got my message.

"Jeremy,
I feel as though these messages mean nothing, but I still do them. I still have hope that one day I can be happy with you. I realize now how selfish I really am. I'm so sorry Jeremy. After tomorrow I will stop sending you messages.
Your ever hopeful,
Red"

I paused, Red was going to stop sending messages? For once I realized I really didn't want that. Red couldn't stop! I didn't want them to. Oh god...I feel trapped. I definitely love Red. I just wish I knew what I loved.

I get ready for bed slowly. I feel sick and tired as my feet dragged me to bed. I fall asleep instantly.

I am in the hospital. It's dark out and the windows are leaking black. I try and escape as the darkness engulfs me completely. I see a pair of glowing electric blue eyes. I stumble forward. "Jeremy." It says in my voice. "How stupid am I? I hurt everything I'm near.
Everything that loves me suffers. Everything about me is just terrible.
Everything about me makes me want to die.
Everything about me makes others want to die.
What am I."
I drown it in a pit of Red.