The Answer Lies in the Truth

Chapter 17

I don't sleep. I can't. I feel like I could barf up a bucket of nails. The guilt feels like it's crawling all over me. I literally want to pull off my own skin as I slowly go mad thinking about everything I've avoided thinking about. The Squip tries to turn on, I can feel it, but I shove it to the back of my mind. I have so many voices in my head right now I don't need the added stress of the supercomputer. My head hurts and I ignore it. I feel like I deserve it.

Michael's avoiding me. He sat next to some kid who we both privately make fun of for that one time he screamed 'KINKY' on the bus and had to walk home for two weeks. The isolation is killing me. I feel like I have no one. He's not even answering my texts.

When I get off the bus and wait for him he walked by me without even glancing at me. I walk beside him even though he doesn't want me to. "Michael, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to say the things I did. You are my best friend, and I'd never hate you. I'm sorry. If you never want to talk to me that's fine. I get it. I don't deserve to be your friend anymore. I'm a pretty crap human being. I'm terrible, and so sorry Michael," he kept walking. I was behind him, and I couldn't stand it. A tear rolled down my cheek as I caught his arm, "P-please..." my voice cracked. He stopped walking.

The few people outside were starring at us. Some had their phones out and others were tearing up too. "Please say something, Michael. I need you." My voice cracked again as I tried to not cry again. Boys didn't cry. I sniffed and tried to look somewhat dignified as I begged my best friend to just look at me.

He let out a humorless laugh. "You know the sad part Jeremy?" He said, he sniffed at looked at me. A tear fell and landed on the walkway between us. "I forgive you. I'm sorry I got so defensive."

"You didn't do anything wrong, it was me that got angry first." I said as steady as I could. Honestly, we both looked like ass. I never wanted to fight like that again. We hugged and he gave me his special smile. "I want to explain why I was upset?" I asked, he took off his foggy glasses and nodded. He started cleaning them as I cleared my throat. "I felt like you were hiding something man. Every time I try and have a straight conversation with you it always ends up with me feeling like there's tension between us. Am I making this up or do you feel it too?"

Michael sighed, "I am keeping something from you Jeremy, you're right." I looked at him expectantly. "Well-" he hesitated, "Jeremy, the reason I can't hold a straight conversation with you is because I'm gay." W H A T

I stared at him, I slowly blinked. "So...as in, you're into dudes?"

"Yep." He said awkwardly popping the P. He glanced away from me nervously and put on his glasses.

"Oh." I said looking over his face. He was blushing and looking down like a child that had been scorned by his mother. "Congratulations?"

He laughed and looked up at me. "Thanks Jer." I don't know why my face heated up, but we stared at each other until the bell rang and I cleared my throat.

"To class?"

"To class."

In English Michael taught me how to say, 'I can speak dog.' In Filipino, another amazingly important phrase. He scribbled some long phrase at the top of my paper today. I didn't know what it said so I pretended to know. I pointed to it and smiled at Michael. He gave me a quizzical look. "My best friend is an idiot and he didn't know I was gay." I said slowly like I was figuring out each word.

"Close," he whispered back. I giggled as he pointed to another word. "Syota means dumbass." I laughed and attempted to push him off his chair. The teacher was grading today so he didn't care as long as we didn't get too loud.

Wednesday's were the days we got off of rehearsal. I got to go home on the bus with Michael. I took the opportunity to sit with him. It ended up being a little awkward.

We were seniors, the newest line of cool freshmen in college. So, of course, as to social regulation and experience, we sat at the back of the bus. No one really bothered us and the freshmen wouldn't really sit here. It was a nice little oasis. That was until we heard moaning coming from the back.

"F-fuck Ev-"

"Nnnnuh..."

"Kink-"

"Shut the fuck up Jared..."

Holy shit. They were having sex at the back of the freaking bus?!? Michael looked at me blushing bright red. We sat there miserably until we heard another set of moans, the thing was, it was from different people.

"Veronica, uhn oh..."

"Sorry...ah..."

What is this? Was everyone high? "Dude, you forgot didn't you?" Michael asked glancing at me.

"Forgot what?" I exclaimed.

"Two days before Valentine's Day. It's a free for all." Michael laughed as I gave him a disgusted look.

"They can't wait until we are off the bus?" I said, Michael burst out laughing.

"It's been happening all week while you were at rehearsal."

That basically ended our spectacular adventure, I got off the giant yellow sex bus and headed home. As I was getting my homework done the Squip powered on. 

"Hello Jeremy."

"What do you want?" I asked calmly, I was busy working out a heard math equation.

"I was wondering- the answer to that is 42- if I could offer you an idea to help you figure out who Red really is."

"I know who Red is." I said and scribbled down 42 and circled it. I hoped the teacher didn't check my work.

"No you don't. Do you really feel like Jenna could be it? Jenna?"

I sigh and close my math book. "No, but I'm running out of options."

"No Jeremy, you are just looking in the wrong places."

"Stop being quizzical." I said, It sighed.

"Stop being an idiot." It said. I glared at it. "Jeremy it is imperative that you know who Red truly is before the Valentine party. Be angry at me all you want, but I'm offering to help you here."

"I don't want your help." I hissed and the Squip clicked in an annoyed tone.

"That's a shame, he would-"

"I said shut up and go away!" I said walking downstairs and getting a Mountain Dew red from the fridge and chugging it. The Radio silence I was met with was truly a relief.