The Answer Lies in the Truth

Chapter 18

Nightmares and the Squips hunting words followed me to school. Reds identity was buzzing in my head. I had stopped getting messages from them. So far I'd figured it wasn't Jenna, she barely talked to me. I'd also pulled together that it probably wasn't a girl from what the Squip told me. I would think it was Michael! But it couldn't be, coincidences couldn't be that crazy.

Could they?

No. Haha, what am I thinking? Michael has a crush, and he wouldn't tell me who it is. So obviously it wasn't me or he'd tell me. Right? I felt unsure. Why did I feel unsure about this? He would tell me, right?

"Hi Jeremy," Jenna said coming up to me and Michael at the beginning of school. "Uh, I got a different date to the party. You kinda- cramp my style. I hope that won't be a problem." She smiled in fake sweetness.

"Who?" I asked.

"Dustin Crop, you know the football all-star." She smiled and flicked her hair.

"Didn't he cheat on he last girl he dated?" Michael cut in. Jenna rolled her eyes and huffed.

"Yah, but it's different with me, he says so." She said.

"That's what I heard last night on a rom-com my mom watches right before the guy cheated on that girl too." I snuffled a laugh at Michael's comment. Jenna glared at him before flipping him off and walking away.

"Girls, am I right?"

"Sure man," he chuckled. "I wouldn't really know." Right. The gay thing, I still have to get used to that. I laughed awkwardly and blushed.

I went through the day trying not to think about the possibility that Michael might have a crush on...I swallowed thickly. Michael wanted to stay for my rehearsal. I pulled him aside before we got to the theater. "Dude, any new leads on Red?" I asked, his face closed off in thought.

"No, I tried talking to a number of girls and they all don't know. You said it was Jenna." He said, I looked at him.

"It's not Jenna, I just made that up. It can't be, she doesn't like me. I was just nervous because I couldn't find someone, and all the pressure, ya know? Besides, you suggested a while ago that it wasn't a girl, yah?"

"Mmmhmmm, so do you want me to ask the guys now?" He said pushing up his glasses.

"No..." I looked around.

"Michael-" I hesitated, "Any progress on your crush?" It's not what I wanted to ask, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything more.

"No, why?"

"I was just...nevermind, are you still game for going with Christine even though Jenna blew me off?" I asked tiredly.

"Christine said that she was just going to use me to get in so it was no biggie. Do you want me to not go with Christine?" Michael asked glancing at me.

"No, no, you can go with her." Oh how the tables have turned. I didn't imagine me wanting my best friend who's going with my ex to this party. What's even worse is that I got them to go together. Now I have no date, and no way in hell to ask him of anything. Would he even say yes if I did? I ran a hand down my face in sheer frustration of it all. Fuck, I don't even know who he likes. But if all the evidence is true, I really can't deny it anymore.

I was going off the assumption that Michael was a straight male who had a crush on a hot girl at this school. I shouldn't be so stereotypical.

Michael is a whizz at tech.

Michael comes to my rehearsals.

Michael is always there for me when I need him.

Michael wears a red hoodie.

If Red were honestly anyone other then Michael at this point I would probably reject them.

Looking into his eyes makes me realize how much I want him to want...me.

Oh sure, I've seen him this close to me before. I've seen his brown eyes and his adorable face with the complexion of a god. (I had to really practice to notice when he's blushing.) No one can really compare to him. His nerdy glasses that are perfect circles. I just want to reach out and take them off so I view the galaxy without a filter. His hair, dark brown and soft. I've messed with it before. Messy and cute, a perfect thing to run my hands through.

"Michael...I-"

"Mike, Jer, come on rehearsal is starting soon!" Christine yelled. It echoed through the empty hall. I didn't even realize we were alone.

"Coming Christine, keep your pants on!" Michael yelled back and chuckled. He had a slight blush on his face. "We should go." I nodded in defeat.

When I got home I did my homework and went to bed. I sat there looking at the ceiling. 'Jeremy...'

"How are you still in my head?" I groaned and put a pillow over my head.

'I know you're angry at me, but look, I'm really trying to help.'

"I don't trust you. Last time you wanted to help me I almost destroyed the school, hell, maybe the world. Why in the fuck would I ever want your help again?"

'I know, I know I'm broken. I'm sorry for what I did. I-'

"Because of you I had to go to therapy for months. They told my parents I developed trust issues and panic attacks. Michael wouldn't talk to me for days on end sometimes. You distorted my life, so yah, I don't want your help."

'Please Jer-'

"No I've heard enough, go away!" I yelled into my pillow. I was breathing heavily. I clutched my bedsheets and tried to breath normally. "Shit shit shitshitshit..." I wheezed. I sat up and held my knees to my chest.

I cried softly and calmed down enough to get three hours of sleep before school. Joy is my life. One more day until the party. Am I being too hard on myself?