Lousy Truth

That song. I knew that he was bad. I knew of what he has been through. I started crying in the middle of the song, remembering all those nights that I kept wondering of what he were doing.

-This next song... This next song is going to be my goodbye. -He said looking at the floor.
Three girls in a table looked at him so confused and he looked at them awkwardly.
-I-I need to go. I just want to sing this song. Thanks... for everything -He said looking at me in the eyes.

He started playing, he didn't looked at me anymore. I just kept looking at him and the way he touched the guitar. It was like he didn't mean to hurt her. Like he was being so careful of what he was doing. Then, he started to sing.

Girl, I've been thinking a lot
About who we could've been
If I was back home
Just chilling with you and all my friends
But dear I'm gone
And that's the lousy truth

-Christopher has changed a lot... He's not the same guy a year ago... -Josseline said
-I know, everyone of us has changed.. -I said whipping my tears off
-I know. But he's... strange now. -aJackie said- He doesn't talk, he... he just work, then go to the bar and then go home.
-He... he has slept with so many girls this year.. -Helen said awkwardly
-What..? -I asked
-He's not the same, Ciara... -Josseline said

For the past three years
I swear I've been a better man
Then who I become
I know I know I know I left you down
But I've been gone
For too damn long

-Hi, Ciara... -someone talked to me on the phone
-Hm.. hi? Who's this? -I asked
-Oh, I'm Fiara Jhonson. -She said back
-What do you need? -I asked angrily
-Well... I-I wanted to know... are you going to get back any soon? I mean, it has been two months but... -she heard preoccupied
-Get back? For what? -I asked looking through my window
-Yes... It's.. It's Christopher. -She said taking me by surprise- He... he has never been the same since you left. He just moved out from my department...
-Your department? -I asked interrupting her
-Yeah, he moved in here like tree months ago. But now he's gone. And I miss him so much... -She said
Three months... he moved even before I told him I was leaving... My heart just exploded. Again.
-Well... Fiara... I don't know how you got my number. But I don't want to hear you again. I don't care about Christopher anymore. I don't want to know about him. I don't fucking care what you two do now that I'm gone! -I yelled crying when I hung up the phone.

So if you go away
Then know that I can't guarantee
That I won't break your heart
But if you go and stay, then baby
Then I will hope and pray that you will run away
'Cause dear it breaks my heart
To see you here

I looked at him again. He was singing with closed eyes. He seemed so tired and sad. I took my mug and noticed it went all cold. Time has been passing and I didn't even noticed all of what we went trough.

So shine outward, not inward
You've been selfish little girl
For the past three years
I've been through more than you can know
And God I don't want you to know

He looked at the audience and smiled a little, but he kept thinking. He was inside of his mind. Hi was everywhere, but not in here.

What I have been through
'Cause you just wouldn't understand
You're just a girl with some issues
As bad as it might sound
But you're the girl who's been driving me mad

I was just seeing his expressions when he opened his eyes. He noticed that I had been looking at him all this time, and he tried to smile. But he failed, cause I could see his sadness just by looking at his eyes.

So if you go away
Then know that I can't guarantee
That I won't break your heart
But if you go and stay, then baby
Then I will hope and pray that you will run away
'Cause dear it breaks my heart
To see you here

He was looking at me. He was singing to me. I-I was just crying while listening all that he was saying. All that he had to tell me.

So go to school in Chicago
Find a new boy, a new life
A whole new set of friends
'Cause all that I will ever do is break your heart
And dear it breaks my heart
To see you here
Yeah dear breaks my heart
To see you here

-Ciara... please come with me to Chicago.
-What? -I asked
-Come with me. We can get an apartment, you can study in a good university and I can still get my job with your dad while studying with you... -He said taking my both hands between his.
-I... don't know what to say..

But just so you know

He said smiling widely. He was letting me go.

I've been thinking a lot of
About who we've gonna been
If I was back home
Just chilling with you and all my friends
But dear I'm gone
And that's the lousy truth

He played the last notes and then got up from the chair. He went backstage and disappeared.

I asked for the bill, and I got $10 dollars from my purse. I doubt about getting backstage or just leave the place, but then the guy from the bar lend me the bill.
-Here, he asked me to give this to you -he said giving me the bill and an envelope.
-Thanks -I said giving him the $10 dollars and taking the envelope
He said something about the money, but I just left the place.