Christmas - Prequel to Mistletoe

August 17, 2013

Patrick

I sat there with Brendon and Ryan, watching as they bickered like children. It was pretty entertaining, and it's not like I wanted to talk about why I was really here.

They'd started fighting because Brendon had assumed I was gay, and Ryan had assumed I was bisexual. After all the years I knew them, I was surprised that they didn't know already, though it never really came up in the years of conversation that had passed. I hadn't felt the immediate need to correct them, so I was leaning back into the chair now, amused, just watching the show in front of me.

"Patrick obviously doesn't like just guys, I swear I've seen him stare at girls before." "You don't just stare at girls because you like them, you dipshit. Sometimes you stare at girls because their makeup is on point."

"Oh, and I bet you'd know all about that." I snorted as Brendon's eyes grew wide, and he gasped in betrayal. "I watch makeup tutorials because they're calming!"

Ryan rolled his eyes as Brendon went on, stating, "Besides, my gaydar keeps telling me that young Patty here is indeed gay."

"Your gaydar."

"Yes, my gay radar! I can totally tell when people are gay." I snorted once again as Ryan stared at Brendon. "That is," he scoffed, "the stupidest shit I've ever heard." Brendon flipped Ryan off, turning to me and tossing his imaginary hair over his shoulder sassily.

"Why doesn't Patrick just tell us?" I looked in between the two of them, Ryan pleading silently with his eyes and Brendon's smirk faltering slightly when he saw me turn to Ryan. I sent a sympathetic smile his way as I said, "Sorry, Ryan. Gay."

Brendon then shrieked in victory, his cockiness back as he caused me to jump and caused Ryan to flip him off. "Look, what am I even doing here?" I asked, sighing deeply as they both turned back to me.

"We need to know everything." Everything. Okay. I can do that. "Uh, my grandmother drives a Toyota." Ryan laid his face in his arms, groaning as Brendon rolled his eyes. "Not like that, Patrick. Try again."

I threw my hands in the air, saying, "I don't know what you're trying to get me to say!" Ryan looked up, staring me dead in the face as I uncomfortably swallowed, startled. "What kind of guys are you into?"

"What? How am I supposed to answer that...?" Brendon chuckled, patting Ryan on the shoulder as Ryan looked at him, annoyed.

"What good ol' Ryan here is trying to say is, what kind of guy do you think would suit you?" I squinted my eyes at that, accusingly saying, "Aren't you supposed to be figuring that out?"

Ryan put his chin on his fist, mumbling, "Okay, yeah, that's true..." Brendon sighed, looking at the table as he cursed, "Goddamnit."

"Why are you guys even interested in my love life?" Ryan smiled, shaking his head as Brendon chuckled,

"Patrick. Honey." I glared at that, and he noticed and gulped before continuing, "Ryan and I, we're set. See, Ryan's got everything. He's hot as fuck, he can cook, he's fucking amazing in the bedroo-"

I held up my hand, my eyebrows raised. "Brendon! That's enough." He held up his hands in surrender as Ryan nodded, agreeing with what Brendon had said, murmuring a modest "Well, yeah."

"The point is, you're single. You're lonely," I opened my mouth to object and he held up a finger, silencing me. "You see, Patrick, Ryan and I, we've grown up with you,"

I rolled my eyes, Ryan smiling at me like a brand new mom the entire time. "We want to see you end up happy. We want you to be happy. And I think you'd be happy if you met someone new. Someone...different."

He wiggled his eyebrows at me, to which I then promptly reached my arm over the table and flicked him on the nose. He grabbed his nose, yelping, as Ryan burst out laughing.

"As much as that was a wonderful, accurate speech, Brendon, we both know I bet you fifty bucks that you could help Patrick find someone by the end of the year and you're just trying to hurry it along."

I glared immediately at Brendon, as his eyes widened and he blurted out, "Out of love!" I nodded. "Out of love." I repeated, sarcasm dripping from my voice.

"Patrick. Please. Fifty bucks! At least let me try." I raised my eyebrows at him, while Ryan smirked to the side. He stared at me, silently pleading with his eyes as Ryan snorted.

I sighed, throwing my hands up in surrender. "Fine. Fine, Brendon." He fist pumped as Ryan sighed out of defeat.

Brendon immediately turned to Ryan. "You still said you'd help," Ryan looked at him, unamused. "Just look at Patrick. So lonely."

I just glared more as Brendon gestured to me, Ryan glancing at me as well as Brendon tried to convince him. "He'll be old and alone, Ryan. Old and alone." Ryan bit his lip, sighing in defeat before nodding his head and saying, "Goddamnit. Fine."

I squinted at them as Brendon cleared his throat, clasping his hands together like a businessman and turning to me. "As were were saying, we only want the best for you, Patrick." I furrowed my eyebrows. "You sound like my dad."

He shrugged, hiding a smirk as he said smugly, "Well, some people do enjoy calling me daddy-" His voice was stopped from Ryan's elbow ramming into his side.

Ryan then turned to me and smiled innocently. "We have a lot of friends, Patrick. Would you be open to going on dates with a few of them?" I sighed, putting my head in my hands.

Brendon groaned, loudly complaining, "Oh, come on, Patrick, you haven't dated anyone since Warren from the end of tenth grade! And he turned out to be a drug dealer." I looked up at him. "Don't bring him up. I don't want to talk about that." He shrugged. "It's a valid point."

I sighed, picking at the chipped wood on the edge of the table. "I don't like being set up on dates, guys. I'll just stutter the whole time and make a fool out of myself."

Ryan raised his eyebrow, as Brendon turned to him for help. "At least a couple dates?" I uncertainly thought about it as he continued, "Please."

I hid my face in my hands and groaned as I finally mumbled, "Fine. Fine!" Brendon quickly turned to Ryan, holding up his hand for a high five which Ryan rolled his eyes at, then returned.

Was I going to regret it? Probably. But I knew they weren't going to let it go that easily. At least, Brendon wasn't. His voice from earlier rang in my ears, as I plopped my chin on my hand, sighing deeply. "Fifty bucks!"

Fifty bucks. Okay. I mean, there's always a chance I could do this. I could meet someone. I trusted Ryan and Brendon. Hopefully it was a good idea to do this. I mean, I was being the better person here by rescuing Brendon from losing fifty bucks, but at the same time, all I could get out of it could be just disappointment, sadness, and loneliness.

Huh. Guess I'll see.