what our fathers never had ( ✓ )

chapter thirteen

Scorpius and Albus had been pressed with a lot of homework and so they found themselves seated by the fireplace in their common room hard at work. Various other students went to and from the place, most retreating into their dormitories around two or so in the morning. Albus casted a tempus charm to see what the time truly was. He glanced up from his work, noticing the two boys were the only ones left in the Common Room, and then he noticed that Scorpius was chewing his nails.

"You alright?" Albus asked his friend. The blond sat across from him on a plush armchair with only a coffee table separating them. His various textbooks and parchment were spread out lazily, which was quite out of character for Scorpius, and had the dark-haired boy worried.

"Hmm?" Scorpius hummed, looking up to find his best friend staring at him. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Scorp, you're chewing your nails. And your work space is a mess. What's going on?" Albus asked, setting his work aside as he stepped around the table to stand in front of Scorpius. The blond's hair flickered in the firelight and Albus' heartbeat thudded dully as the taller boy chewed his lip in thought. Without thinking, he stuck his fingers below his best friend's chin and caused him to lift his head.

Scorpius looked up at him in surprise and grabbed his friend's wrist, eyes like liquid silver. This was the one time that Albus was actually taller than him. His jaw tensed as he stared at the dark-haired boy intently, and Albus took a seat on the edge of the coffee table so they were more at level. He breathed out, meeting his green eyes and then looked away distractedly.

"I can't take it anymore." He whispered and Albus stared at him in confusion and interest, encouraging him to say more.

"Can't take what? Is it Rose?" Albus asked, frowning at his clearly struggling best friend. He leaned forward and pushed Scorpius' work away and took a seat beside him, wrapping his arms around the blond's shoulders. Scorpius tensed again, but leaned into the touch after a moment.

"Please don't say her name. She ruins everything." He begged, and then took another shaky breath. "It's just stuff I've been dealing with for a while. Since the summer, actually."

"What happened over the summer?"

Scorpius looked at Albus, seeing the interested look on his face, then gulped, deciding it was now or never. He stood abruptly and rushed into their dorm, rummaging through his trunk quickly. When he found the journal, he turned to find Albus standing a few feet away from him. He gave a small yelp of surprise, but then grabbed the dark-haired boy by the hand and pulled him from the dorms again and into their common room.

"This happened," Scorpius started once they were both seated again. "This book." He handed the journal to Albus, who took it carefully and started flicking through the pages. His eyes widened and he turned to find Scorpius staring at him.

"This was your dad's? But it's all about my dad." The green-eyed boy claimed and Scorpius nodded. He took the journal back and set it aside, shifting himself so his legs touched Albus'.

"Albus, please don't freak out. I really need you to listen," the blond began, desperation in his voice. "The first time I read this journal, I was convinced that at some point in time, my dad was in love with your dad, and it really messed me up. I became obsessed with the idea, but then when I read it over thrice more, I came under the impression that my father was just thankful to yours for their time at Hogwarts together. I knew then that my father only ever really loved my mum, but the idea of love started swirling around in my head like crazy."

"Okay?" Albus queried, encouraging his friend to continue as he worked at absorbing this information.

"And then Rose suddenly agreed to dating me, and I was ecstatic because I really believed I liked her a lot. But it was quickly established that she was just dating me to prevent arses like Bruno from going after her. And that's when I realized something wasn't right between her and I, and I stopped answering your letters as a sickening feeling came over me." Scorpius continued. His friend was silent.

"Rose discovered my feelings before I did and she used it against me. She used my misery as a way for herself to be spoiled. She blackmailed me and made me pay her to keep a secret that I was too at war with myself to just confess. I lost so much of my allowance to that girl, but I still refused to tell anyone. And then the school year hit, and I just- Albus, I couldn't do it anymore. She forced me to snog her, and it made me sick to my stomach because all I wanted to do was snog someone else, but I'm a coward. I'm a loser, and a coward, and I wasted so much time that could've been spent with someone else on her." The blond felt as though he'd choke on his misery, but he continued. He grabbed Albus' hands quickly, much to the boy's surprise even though he'd been catching on, and breathed deeply through his nose.

"This journal: it's everything. And whether my dad did love yours at one point or another, it doesn't matter. You and I could be so different, Albus. We could have what our fathers never had - each other." Scorpius concluded and bowed his head as he prepared for the worst.

"You're in love with me." Albus decided, voice quiet, eerie. It scared Scorpius and made him wish he could shrink or disappear.

"I am." The blond agreed, voice broken. He'd admitted it and it pained him to do so. He'd been so foolish in believing the green-eyed boy could ever love him back. It would never work.

Albus was quiet, and as the minutes increased, Scorpius wished more and more that a sealed window in the Common Room would break and the room would be flooded with water. The students would all be moving in such a frenzy that trivial matters such as love would have to be pushed aside for survival. The blond wished the earth would swallow him up, or that he could've been sent to a different school where he never would've met Albus, so these feelings never would've occurred.

He was terrified of the outcome and contemplated whether all this agony was worth it. He should've just kept the secret to himself. He should've never snooped through his father's belongings. Things could've still been great, and he wouldn't feel so conflicted and like a loser.

"You're not a loser, Scorpius. Or a coward." Albus' voice felt magnified in the blond's ears as his head lifted to find his best friend's green eyes shining brightly at him. He always was too kind for his own good. "You're Scorpius Malfoy, and what you just did was incredibly brave. You can't be brave and a coward at the same time, and I'm so proud of you for coming clean about your feelings."

"But you don't feel the same way?" Scorpius asked, eyes teary as Albus' words sunk in and he was forced to think the worst. He'd messed everything up.

"Hey, I let you talk. You have to do the same for me now. Everything you're feeling - it's similar to what I've been going through since that day on the train. At first I figured I was just hurt that you never told me you had a girlfriend, but the more time I avoided you, the more time I regretted it and missed you terribly. It wasn't until later that I realized how much I wished I was in Rose's place. I wanted you, Scorpius. I wanted you then, and I still want you now." Albus admitted and the blond's eyes widened as he smiled brightly, relieved by everything. He thanked Merlin silently, as well as the Fates and the Founders for giving him the opportunity of getting to meet and love the fantastic Albus Potter.

"I want you too." Scorpius whispered, beside himself with bliss. Albus smiled brightly, flashing his white teeth as he captured his best friend in a hug. He pulled Scorpius against him with such a force that the two toppled from their seat onto the floor in front of the fireplace, and giggled at each other as Scorpius lay on top of Albus.

Albus' arms rested loosely around the blond's waist, and Scorpius held himself in a stance that looked like he was prepared to do press-ups. He grinned down at the green-eyed boy and Albus smiled at him, and then they kissed, and the fire crackled beside them as their heads erupted in bliss as their feelings came to light. They were no longer Albus, and Scorpius, but Albus and Scorpius: together as one, and it was perfect.