It All Fell Apart

Taking them to Daddy's

I smiled as my six year old son Jayden and four year old daughter Jaslyn sang along with the radio. I giggled at their cuteness and made a left turn. He tickled her and she laughed uncontrollably. I slowed down at the stop light and turned around. "Are you guys hungry?" He stopped tickling her and they nodded. "Can we have Mconalds?" I always thought it was cute how Jaslyn said McDonalds. "Yes, but you have to eat your vegetables tonight!" She pouted and crossed her arms. I pulled up to the drive-thru and ordered them some breakfast, and some for myself. I paid and started down the road again. "Mommy where are we going?" Jayden asked. "It's a surprise!"

I parked in the drive way and unbuckled my seatbelt. I took the kids out of their carseats and held their hands, walking to the front door. "Can I ring it?" I looked down at Jaslyn on my hip and nodded. I heard the doorbell ring inside and some footsteps after. The door opened and I came face-to-face with him. "Daddy!" Jayden ran up to hug him. " Daddy! Daddy!" Jaslyn reached out for him. He smiled and took her out of my hands. "Ooh let's watch T.V!!" Jayden ran off to the livingroom. "Daddy can I watch T.V?" Jaslyn asked. "Yeah baby, go have fun." He set her down and she ran off. "Hey Caitlin," He lightly smiled, stepping aside for me to walk in. "Hey, I got them breakfast but I didn't know if you wanted any." I walked in. "You can have mine if you want." I set the to-go bags on the kitchen bar. "Thanks," He took the breakfast sandwich out and took a bite. We sat in complete silence.

It wasn't always like this.

We would always cracking jokes and laughing at random things, but now we had absolutely nothing to talk about. I guess that's what happens when you get divorced. I really wished we could have worked it out. We even tried couples therapy, but it didn't work. It's all my fault. One stupid choice ruined my relationship with my first and only love. Yes, I still love him. Justin is the love of my life. You never know what you have until it's gone, and I miss him. Nothing's the same. All the great times and memories were thrown away because of me. I ruined everything. "What's wrong?" I snapped out of my sad thoughts and looked up at him. I took a deep breath, holding in my tears. "Just thinking." I put my head down. "Then why are you crying?" I shook my head and wiped my tears. "N-nothing," I grabbed my purse and stood up. "I gotta go," and with that I turned around. I did goodbye to my children and started driving home. He can't know...he can't.