Love Trap (Slow Updates)

Thirty five.

Harry's pov;

The whole flight, even if I closed my eyes for ages, it seems like my system wouldn't allow me to sleep even if I desired to, because my thoughts were stronger than it. They wanted to keep me awake throughout the whole damn flight.

My mind was fixated on this damn trip and what happened last night. It all started out so good, so positive but it came down to nothing, just chaos and awkwardness.

I was so truly happy and pleased with myself and how the trip was going, that I didn't even think to stop myself at times, I just kept pushing things.

The first two days were so damn good and full with happiness, but the moment my eyes landed at the prescription pills that were at the bottom of my car, when we arrived to my mother's house, my heart sank.

I remember all of it. I told Aria to wait, because I forgot my phone in the car and I opened the door, searching for it. Then I saw something, a small bottle on the floor of the car, at the passenger's seat. I took it in my hands and listened to the sound of the pills clicking inside the orange plastic bottle. I looked at the label of the pills and I saw Aria's name on it. 

'Aria C. Thomas'

I first thought it would be aspirins or something like that, but they were prescription pills and I was pretty familiar with pills. I don't live in a community that is good and civil, I am surrounded by pills, cigars, drugs and anything you can imagine. I read the kind. Tricyclic Antidepressants. I read the label over and over again and I still remember Aria calling my name, to see if I found my phone. 

I couldn't wrap around my finger that those pills were hers, that she was taking them. My mind wandered, why the hell she needed them. I left them right where they were, and later on the day when she asked me for the car keys, because she forgot something, I knew exactly what it was. I got worried as hell from that day on.

It's been three days after that and I still think of it, and some things start to make more sense. Her sudden sadness, her freak out last night in our hotel room, the fact that she was drinking excessively.

What could possibly ruin the life of such creature? Who could be so cruel to such a pure person? What could have possibly happen for her to become like that? Is it her mum's death? Is it college? Is it Neels? Is it her dad? Is it... me? It can be me. I could have hurt her without knowing and I am pretty sure I have done it many, many times, like the fuck up I am. But now, I can't think of what can happen if I leave her and the truth is I don't want to leave her.

I don't know why I am like this, so caring, loving and basically obsessed with the thought of her, but I can't seem to be able to let go. It's only a matter of time she realizes what kind of monster I am and how fucked up my past is. It's only a matter of time I put her in danger without her even knowing and she ends up right on that New York grass with Emily.

Aria's pov;

I get back to my apartment, and Harry and I don't talk too much at all, after our conversation in the airplane. He must have seen that I wasn't in the mood to talk about anything. He probably has a million questions and he probably is mad at me for last night, but I'm not ready to talk to him about anything. Who even is he in my life, where do we stand? We're just a couple of strangers that cross paths all the time.

I take two pills today and I don't even care if that is good for me. It's not like I'm taking the whole bottle and ending my life right here, right now. I just want a stronger result. But not even God can help me right now.

It was maybe around 8pm that I fell asleep on my couch, with the TV open. And then I woke up. At 1, 3, 5, 8 and 10am, until I couldn't stand it anymore and made myself a strong cup of espresso, a triple shot one with no sugar, to keep myself awake and occupied.