Love Trap (Slow Updates)

Forty Three.

Aria's pov;

We're back to it again. With three days left for me to persuade Harry into signing a record deal, or at least meeting with Joel, I know it doesn't even matter anymore. It will never happen and I don't even know if I'll be able to look at him in the eyes now, after all the times I've scared him off.

All he has done is make me feel safe, happy, loved ans cherished, but I can't seem to move on from my past. It's Monday and in our class today, he didn't come. It was some sort of relief for me, to not have to feel him next to me or smell his cologne, even if I missed it already. But it worried me too. He never misses class. I had to ask Jesy for a pen, and she kindly gave me one. I need to talk to her but I can't seem to find the courage to, even if things are way better with Jayleen.

Private personalized patient file.

Number of session: No10

Date: February 27th 2017

Client name: Aria C. Thomas.

Date of birth: June 18th 1994

Client ID: 372

Type of problem: Atypical Depression, GBV.

History of problem: Successful usage of SSRI and Tricyclic Antidepressants for three months. Nightmares. Insomnia. Anger Management Issues.

Present day effects: Nightmares. Heavy case of insomnia. Usage of Tricyclic Antidepressants (2nd month)

Additional information: Creative. Change of environment three months after the problem appeared.

"So, we have come to the conclusion that even though you do feel better with your medication, when you find yourself in a position similar to the one in your nightmares, you have panic attacks" Dr. Eleanor told me and I nodded.

"To end our session today, I want to advice you one thing. The key to this right now, is communication. Communication with your partner, Aria. Or whoever you are so close with. You have everything. Medication, support, a good environment. The only thing you need right now to try and stop your nightmares, is to communicate and share your personal feelings. Talking doesn't lead to bad. Talking is always good for the soul. And after that, you will start to see the change. I really have seen something change in you, ever since you started doing things out of your comfort zone. Our next session is in a month" She smiled at me.

"A month?" I asked, my eyes wide.

"Yes. You have made enough progress for us to meet once a month and not once a week or more. Don't worry, if anything comes up, you know where to find me. I wish you all the best and I'll be looking forward to seeing you again next month" She smiled at me.

I smiled back. "Thank you, see you in a month"

It was night when I woke up. I took a nap after my session, to calm myself down. It was 10pm. I slept too much. I haven't eaten in a while. I cooked myself light dinner and drank water. I felt... Okay? I guess. But Dr. Eleanor was right. Communication is something I lack. I just have to get this over with, maybe if I say it out loud I will make myselr understand some things.

I took my phone and texted Harry to meet me on the roof of his apartment building, in a few minutes. I didn't know if he was home or if he could meet me, but I would see when I went up there and waited. I hope he does and I hope I have the courage to tell him all I have to tell him. I just... I don't want to scare him away. I know that I won't handle being alone and not seeing him anymore. I will just feel... like something is missing if I don't see him often, if I don't feel his touch, if I don't smell his cologne or if I don't hear his voice. It's been far too long for me to not have gotten used to him. It's bad.