I'm sorry too [Kendall Jenner]

9: again

Kendall

"It was like the first time we met" I cried don Gigi's lap, I was in her room too afraid to go to mine.

She kept quiet, just holding me in her arms.

"But she just looks at me like a friend" I cried harder "I was supposed to be over this already Gigi, but looking her again with that fucking smile, I am completely in love with her."

I couldn't stop crying

"She is the love of my life" I sobbed getting up from her lap and drying my face with the back of my hand

"What about Emily?" she asked

Right, I was supposed to be dating Emily at least that was the press though. She was in LA in some starting a movie with this unknown director.

"I don't love her Gi!" that was pretty obvious

"You should've kissed her" she said looking right at me

"I wanted to, I really wanted to..."

"But..."

"But the press is always behind me and my family doesn't have the best reputation and I can't contribute to it" Gigi looked at me with caring eyes

"You can't put your happiness on your family's hands" Gigi said sternly

"I don't want to be tagged as a cheater or some kind of slut" I said feeling fresh tears coming out

"You're not" she said

"That's not what everyone thinks" Gigi took my hand as a sign of support

We stood in silence. My mind two floors up, just thinking of the beautiful woman I used to call mine. I loved her, with every piece of my heart. I needed her, I wanted her memory to come back and recognize who I was, her one and only.

"You should go to her room" she insisted

"I can't"

"GO!" she pushed me to the door

I walked in the hallway in front of her suite.

"Can I help you?" a gorgeous girl with light hair and blue eyes asked

"uhm, I'm looking for Val" I said awkwardly

"Oh..." she must be sleeping "After the great night we had, she must be exhausted"

"You are?" I asked trying not to sound rude

"My name is Adelina" she said pursing her lips

I looked at Val's door

"You know she has a girlfriend, right?" she said with venomous voice

"I didn't know" I looked at her "so, you are the girlfriend?" I asked

"No" she made a face of disgust "My family would never accept a homosexual relationship"

"So you just fuck around with guests?" I was getting pissed

"No, well yes, but no girls, I'm more the guy type. But Valentina is very good in what she does" I couldn't listen to that anymore "She made me cum a lot of times"

I was about to cry

"I have to go" I said turning around

"Do you want me to say something to her from you?" she made an innocent voice

Right when I was about to leave Val's door opened

"Kendall" she smiled "Adelina" she looked at the blue eyed girl

"Who is it?" a voice sounded behind Val "Hi" a green eyed girl

"This is my friend Kendall Val said, something about her referring at me with the word friend broke me in ways I wasn't sure I could ever fix "And this is Lauren, my girlfriend"

"Kendall?" Lauren said "Kendall Jenner?" I nodded feeling a lump stuck in my throat

"The Kendall Jenner?" Adelina asked

I nodded again

"I'm sorry, I really shouldn't be here" I said trying leave "have a good night" I said looking at Val before leaving

I was sure I wasn't going to be able to keep my tears until my room, the elevator was taking really long, I turned to find the stairs so I could run away from this mess. I was so dumb, thinking Val would wait for me to take the guts to come back to her life. I should have stayed with her, this was the price I was paying for being the awful human being I was. I wasn't for her when she needed me the most, I didn't help her.

"You're so stupid Kendall" I said to myself walking down the stairs

"Kendall" Val's voice sounded behind me

I couldn't do this anymore, I ran downstairs so I didn't have to look at her again.

"Kendall, wait" she called

"I'm sorry" I kept saying as I speeded away from here

She grabbed my wrist stopping me abruptly, she was panting

"Why are you running away from me?" she asked looking very concerned

"Is not from you Val!" I cried out loud

"Then from who?" she asked now holding me by the shoulders

I couldn't hold it any longer, I broke down crying. She simply hugged me while I poured my soul in her shoulder, my baby girl, my everything. If we couldn't be together at least I wanted to feel her body close to mine one last time. I loved her, with every single ounce of blood in my body, with every bone and every breath I took. I loved her.

"Calm down" she stroked my hair "hush" she kept saying as I cried harder

I knew the way her heart beat, and how her breathing increased when she was nervous, I knew the way her arms held me on cold nights. I knew the love of my life, the way she made me feel even when the girl that fell in love with me wasn't there anymore.

I don't know how long I was in her arms, crying my eyes out. She didn't rush me; she just kept stroking my hair while I cried for her. I separated my body from her, looking at her gorgeous gray irises, I didn't know it was possible to love someone that much.

So I kissed her, I threw myself at her, kissing her deeply. Months and months of missing her, I put all the love I had in that kiss. I was aware I needed air but I didn't care, I needed to feel her. When we broke the kiss she looked at me intensely. I couldn't help it; I kissed her again, feeling the surprise and relaxation of her lips as she played at the same rhythm as me. I put my arms around her neck pressing my body to her, what if we ended up making love? I wasn't prepared to be just a one night stand. Her arms snaked around my waist holding me tight.

I continued kissing her, showing in some way how much I adored the way she made me feel. I was hers even if she didn't want me...

"Fuck" she moaned pulling from the kiss "I need more" she dived in again into my lips, searching for an entrance with her tongue, she was pure magic. Her lips were strangely addictive, I needed her now.

"Come on" I pulled her to my room; I knew this was wrong, she had a girlfriend and I was supposed to be faithful to Emily.

She followed me quietly holding my hand. The only audible noise was the sound of our breathing. The last time we ever had this intimacy was almost 2 years ago. I missed her.

"Be gentle" I said as the door closed behind her.