Paramnesia

The Rumors in the Air

Logan and Thea are in the picture.

•Chapter Seven•
•The Rumors in the Air•

It was a knock at the door that woke me up Saturday morning. I thought if I stayed quiet and ignored my dad he'd go away. He knocked again and then again. I groaned, throwing off my covers and getting up. I tugged my shirt down and smoothed my hair back before opening my door.

"Yeah, dad?" I yawned.

He was fidgeting in front of me, clearing his throat he said, "Your mother is outside demanding to see you."

"Why? What even time is it?" I turned back into my room to retrieve my phone.

"Noon." He muttered.

I got my phone from behind my pillow and found that I had three missed calls, all from my mother. Sighing I said, "I'll get dressed and be down in a minute." I groaned aloud once my dad left. "Fuck me." I growled pulling on a hoodie and shoving my phone into my pocket.

I stomped down the stairs, my stomach grumbling as I went. I walked into the kitchen were my mother was pacing furiously in front of the counter. My dad was looking into his empty cereal bowl looking a bit more than agitated. I grabbed the bread and shoved it into the toaster before stepping around my mother to get to the fridge.

"Well, are you going to say anything?" She inquired.

"Yes?" I said with uncertainty. "Anything." I deadpanned.

"I don't have time for your shitty attitude." She hissed. "What is going on with you and Greyson? I'm reading all sorts of terrible things online. Pregnancy, secret engagements?"

"Oh so you figured out how to read shit on your phone?" I remarked, getting the cheese and closing the fridge.

"No thanks to you. Now I want to know what is going on. The last time we talked you wanted nothing to do with Greyson." She stepped up to the counter, hovering over me as I made a grilled cheese.

"Yeah, and my best friend killed himself too." I shrugged, feeling the cynicism taking center stage. The mention of Heath always sent me one of two ways: insensitive bluntness or in a tailspin of tears and hysterics. Different people took me down different paths and my mother has always been a stiff upper lip type of person. Crying wasn't something we did in my family and public displays of emotion weren't tolerated.

"I'm aware." She breathed, taking a step back. "The school called and asked about therapy. I told them we would take care of that on our own. Is—"

"I don't fucking need therapy." I cut her off.

"Felicity, we don't talk that way." My dad piped in for the first time since I came downstairs.

Completely ignoring him, I continued, "You should have considered therapy when you decided to get a divorce, or maybe when you decided to suddenly drop the gay bomb on me. Or maybe I should've gone to therapy to talk about you getting remarried, and maybe when you decide to adopt little asian children and replace me; I should go to therapy, but when my best friend kills himself isn't when you decide I have to go to therapy. You no longer get that option. And as a matter of fact you don't get to come here and question me about my life when you can't even pick up the damn phone when Heath died!" My heart was pounding in my ears and I was breathing heavily and in pace with my rapid heart beat. "Just go away." The fight left me as I uttered those last words. "Leave me alone, Mariam." I turned away from the astonished look on my mother's face and plated my grilled cheese.

"I don't know what's wrong with you." And then she left, hiking her purse up on her shoulder and slamming the back door behind her.

I could tell my dad wanted to say something to me and so I fled to my room and closed the door to eat my sandwich in peace. I was tired of fighting with my mother. I was tired to being mad at her. But I couldn't help it. She expected me to be happy that she's discovered her true self, and I guess I am, but she hurt my dad so much in the process. She got to leave and start a new family while I sat here and watched my family fall apart. I don't see why she gets to be happy when it feels like the world is falling apart around me. Perhaps I should see a therapist. After all that is the profession I want to go to college for. I should probably rethink my career choices. Psychology really isn't for me anymore.