Paramnesia

The Silence is Dead

This chapter is shorter then I'd like, but it was really difficult to write. I've grown very attached to Heath. Before he was a character I didn't need to get to know because he was just a plot device for Our Circle, but he's become so much more and I just want to bring him back. So this chapter was painful to write and took me longer then expected to get out.

•Chapter Five•
•The Silence is Dead•

It was like stepping outside of your door and falling into an endless pit of darkness, never knowing what is at the end or if there even is one. One minute your in your home, surrounded by familiarity and what you hold dear. Everything makes sense. The clock on your wall works, the TV still plays the same movies, and the sun sets every night. But I'm falling. Its dark all around me and the silence is deafening. The phone is ringing, but I can't hear it.

My dad tells me to sit back down. He tells me to relax. He says I should stay home today. He'll stay with me. He wants to stay. I can't stay. I can't be here. The sun still sets, but how could it? How can the clock work and why has nothing changed on the TV? Why is it all the same? How can it stay the same?

"I want to go to school." I don't know if I'm dressed. I can't remember waking up this morning. Food is the last thing on my mind. "I just want to go to school. I want to go to the library and see Heath. I want to see Heath." I want to see Heath. I was rambling incoherently, I knew that. But I wanted to leave.

"Okay, I'll drive you, just don't move." My dad said and hurried off to somewhere.

I wanted to go, I couldn't sit here any longer. It was driving me crazy. I just needed to get to school and it would all make sense. Everything would be normal again then the sun could set. I wanted to stop falling, the silence was deafening.

The halls didn't make sense. I could't find Heath's locker. I wasn't sure if I was on the first or second floor. I felt like I was running a marathon in quick sand. The more I struggled the faster I sank. I couldn't breath.

"Felicity!" My name rang through the halls. It was him, it was Heath. I found Heath.

"Heath." I mumbled, turning wildly to find him.

"Felicity." Thea came crashing into me, pulling me into a hug. "I've been looking for you all over. Your dad called me and told me you were coming to school today. Why?"

"I need to find heath." I was babbling incoherently and I couldn't get out of Thea's grasp.

"Oh, honey—"

"No! Don't you dare!" My lip started to trembling. "You never liked Heath. Why not? Why not? Heath was my friend! Why couldn't you be nice to him? Why?" My voice cracked, I couldn't stop trembling, I couldn't breath.

"Felicity, please. I never meant to..." Thea was crying. I was crying too. People were looking at us. Why? What was it of their concern?

"I want to see Hea—" My voice broke. I couldn't even say his name.

"He's gone, Felicity, he's gone. You know that. Please, lets leave. We can go to my house." She started pulling at my arm. I let her drag me. I didn't know where I was. All I knew was that Heath wasn't here and wouldn't be here ever again.

"I want..." I didn't know, but I couldn't be here. "I want to go see Ivy." I pulled Thea to a stop. "I have to find Ivy."

"Ivy is probably at home." She tried to pull me again.

I yanked my arm free. "No! Ivy understands, she does. You don't even like Heath." I took off running in the opposite direction. I had a mission. I needed to find Ivy. Thea shouted after me, but I lost her in the crowd. "Ivy." I kept calling, not very loud, my throat ached too much. "Ivy." I whispered. Everyone was gone. No one was in the halls. Where'd everyone go?