stars ; j.s.

15

J A C O B

After weeks of being back in my house, the pain I was feeling grew more evident. My bloodshot eyes were paired with dark circles underneath to show a lack of sleep. I had lost weight, making my ribs more apparent the less I ate. I had begun to forget who I was.

"Jacob," My mom said, pushing open the door and having to climb over the mess that had been building up. "I hate to do this to you, but we have some news."

My head turned to face her, not bothering to make any sort of response.

"So, we are all aware that you've been staying off social media for awhile, which is completely understandable, but we're afraid there have been some rumors we have to clear up."

I rolled my eyes. "There are always rumors."

She sighed, placing a gentle hand on my knee. "Sweetheart, we have reason to believe that this one is true."

Sitting up, I turned to face her. "What is it now?"

"You see, there have been several posts from a girl you must have known." My mother continued. "A certain seventeen year old by the name of Breanna Russell."

My eyes shot up to meet hers. "Oh dear lord, what did she say?"

She held up a picture of her and I together, captioned with "thank you for my followers."

"Is this is a joke?" I said, anger building inside of me. "Please, mom. Tell me this is isn't happening."

"Jacob-"

"Tell me I wasn't being screwed over and lied to for an entire month." My voice began to stagger as it raised.

Tears began to well up inside my eyes, but I wiped them away harshly. "Tell me I didn't waste my time on a selfish whore when I could've been listening to what everyone was telling me and gone after Violet."

"Sweetheart, please settle down, you're scaring me. I'm sure we can get this fixed as soon as-"

"We can't fix this! He's dead mom, it's too late to listen to what he said to me." I cried. "And as for Violet, by now I'm dead to her."

My mother sat there on my bed as I paced back in forth, loud cries uncontrollably escaping my mouth.

"I need to take a walk." I said, before storming out of the room.

The darkness engulfed me as my sleep deprived body dragged its way along the sidewalk. There had to be some sort of sign. There had to be something to tell me I was going to make it through my own dark thoughts and grieving.

And then I saw it.

A small porch lit up by one singular lantern, solely occupied by a wooden rocking chair. It took me back to the night my grandfather and I sat and admired the stars and their relation to love. Thoughts came rushing back of creaking wood floor panels, aged brown eyes, and a particular set of wise words I could never forget.

"Just look up and you'll find your way home."

Above me were thousands of stars reminding me of her. Green eyes and brown hair and a charmingly sarcastic attitude. And suddenly she was all I needed. Suddenly, she was home.

My feet carried me at a quick pace back to my house as I whipped the door open.

Through my panting breath, I spoke to my parents.

"Take me back home."