Single And Satisfied

Unworthy

Hello, Lovelies! It's been a while. I was on a break for almost a year and I'm very sorry about that. Anyway, I hope this new chapter will help you in any situation you are in right now. So, before you start reading, I want you to be very honest to yourself. Has any of these thoughts occurred in your mind even for once?

"I'm too fat."

"I'm too skinny."

"I'm too short."

"I'm too tall."

"I'm too ordinary."

"I am physically unattractive. Guys would always pick on me. They wouldn't be proud to have me by their side and would be too embarrassed to be with me. Why? Simply because I don't look pleasing to the eyes and they want someone who is a perfect match for them. Other girls who are surrounding me are way better than I look. I can't easily beat them. I'm unacceptable."

"I'm too smart."

"I'm hard-headed."

"I'm competitive."

"I'm opinionated."

"I'm independent."

"I am very intimidating. Guys might think I'm too high for them. They are born-leaders and they wouldn't like someone who could overpower them. We would always have arguments and I don't want to lose and so do they. They want someone who would rather submit to them... Someone that they could take care of. Someone that would love them equally. Someone that's not me. I'm not easy to be with. I'm unlovable."

"I'm too quiet."

"I'm shy."

"I'm inactive."

"I'm too serious."

"I'm too innocent."

"I am boring. Guys can't even prolong conversations with me because sometimes I don't know how to respond and it always gets awkward. Sometimes I take everything seriously and they might think I'm so dumb that it takes a while before I get what they're trying to say. They want to be with someone who they can be very comfortable with. Someone fascinating enough that could make them smile and could say the perfect words that would comfort them. I can't give that to them. I'm uninteresting."

"I'm too noisy."

"I'm too funny."

"I'm too friendly."

"I'm childish."

"I'm a drama queen."

"I am annoying. Some guys might see me as an attention-seeker, or some might misunderstand me as a flirt. I may talk a lot, but I'm just being me. I can't blame them if they get irritated every time I express myself because maybe, they also want someone who knows how to listen to them, but here I am, talking endlessly. Some guys might also think that I'm too easy to be with because I'm an open book. That's why I shouldn't be taken seriously. I'm unimportant."

"I have poor grades."

"I have a bad reputation."

"I can't find a stable job."

"I've been to a lot of relationships."

"I am not pure anymore."

"I am unloved. Who would want to be with me if I have the worst background? Who would want to be with someone who is so dumb in making decisions? I'll never be a good role model. No matter how I try to hide it and be a better person, I can't change the things that I've done before. It's a permanent scar and I doubt if there's someone real good that would completely accept me for who I am and who I was. And if there is, it won't be easy and the relationship might not last long. 'Longed-for love' is impossible for me. I'm undeserving."

Have you ever thought of those things? Have you ever felt so down? Neglected? Useless? Unworthy?

I understand that it's very hard trying to live your life to the fullest if you have such feelings. But, Love, you know what I think about you?

You're just being a paranoid.

That hurts, right? It may be tough to accept, but  I'd rather hurt you with the truth, than comfort you with a lie.

Not everything that comes on your mind are true. It may be a product of depreciation or any other factor that only you can answer. You may feel insecure about yourself, or you may not meet other people's standard, but Love, trust me... you are beautiful, you are more than enough.

Someday, somehow someone's going to accept you and love you completely. But, you have to accept yourself first. You have to be confident in showing your uniqueness. You have to forgive yourself.

You still don't believe me? Here's what God thinks of you, "You are altogether BEAUTIFUL, My darling, there is no flaw in you." (Song of Solomon 4:7) You are beautiful in His eyes because He made you. God is perfect, and He designed you in such a way that's perfect for you. We all have differences in physical features, personality, education, and background, but He loves us equally, unconditionally. (Jeremiah 31:3) If we set your eyes on how other people sees us, we feel degraded because we are judged. But, if our eyes are on Him, we feel empowered because He sees us differently.

The world's standard of beauty or wifely material may be good, but that does not necessarily mean that it is what God wants us to be. His word says in Proverbs 31:30, "Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised." It is not bad to dress yourself up, put on make up, or do stuff that could build you up as a woman, but, if you do it for yourself or for others, it is vain. Remember, no matter what good things you do for others, you will still be judged. It's inevitable. But, if we honor the Lord in whatever things we do, He will be pleased, and you will be praised.

1 Peter 3:4 tells us that we should exhibit the true beauty that comes from within, the one that is gentle and quiet, because it is of great worth in God's sight. You may have suffered, but use it as an opportunity for God to show how He works in your life, let Him change you. By then, if you have peace within, it will overflow, you won't be able to suppress it, it'll be so obvious that other people will see it and will make them wonder how you blossomed.

It's not the end yet, dear one. Feel God's love and you will learn to love yourself as well. Matthew 10:31 tells us that we are of more value than many sparrows. Yes, you are loved. You are worthy.