Faith ( Louis Tomlinson Fanfiction )

Chapter Eighteen

A/N: I think the song Addicted to love by Florence and the machine fits this chapter perfectly, feel free to play it

Louis Point Of View

It seemed that I could breath only a tiny bit easier with every glass of alcohol that drowned my mind as I lay infront of my kitchen table, with my hair tangled like tumbled weed, and eyes as red as the shade of red I saw on her cheeks, the perfect picture of an alcoholic, though it was not alcohol I craved, but I just needed something to set my mind in peace, to calm down all the growling questions and screams.

What is wrong with me? It's like my lungs are failing at their job, like to amount of blood running through my veins doubled and my poor heart struggled to keep up.

How could I be so stupid?!

It was all going so well.

" That was amazing!" I said as I saw her grin at me, I left Harry at the table, doing his bonding routine as he greeted the people Faith introduced, though I removed myself from their little bonding as that james guy wasn't giving me all the nice stares.

"Thank you" Fai whispered softly as I looked down at her.

When did she become so beautiful.

"So? Who are those? The biker boy and fortune teller?" I asked in an attempt to crack a joke, but the way her shoulders tensed I could tell it wasn't all that funny.

"Those are my friends and they are better than your sorry ass" she growled which grew my amused grin even wider.

"Yeah? At what? What could they probably be better at?" I said in a teasing manner and her frown turned into a smirk, which I have to admit scared me a little.

" Well they are coming here to preform tomorrow, you should come!" She said with happiness and a knowing smirk.

"What are they gonna preform, some wierd vodoo shit?" I asked and her smirk grew wider.

"You'll see."

And as we stood there in the darkness of a hall way I realised the way her hair fell resembled a waterfall, and a few freckles cover her cheeks like small stars, her lips looked so full, like some kind of fruit that was yet to be discovered, to be tasted.

Her eyes, her eyes were made of silver, pure silver, and every time you look at them they will be drawn in a different colour letting silver mix with precious gems, but after all never as precious as her.

She resembled night, so dark and pure and full of life.

And I runied it, I took an extra mile, but it was in the wrong direction. I ruined it all.

I took another sip from the half empty glass, and thought when her hand touched mine I felt like sparks were flying from me to her, I saw how she shivered and it encouraged me.

She might never look at me the same again but I couldn't help think it was somehow worth it, worth all the sorrows.

With my lips against hers, I flied far away, to a place way softer way better, the way her lips moved against mine were so soft, so intense and pure and I couldn't take a breathe, I found a place deep within her lips and I think It became my safe haven. And for a second I thought she felt the same.

But the feeling was pulled away from my grasp, as she pulled back, she looked scared, and it was contagious.

"I can't, sorry louis but I can't do this, I- I- this was a mistake a huge one. We better forget about it. It never happened okay? It was only a mistake"

A Mistake. Her words felt like a hammer crushing my heart into a million tiny pieces that I could pass them to every human being and there will still be more.

But it was somehow worth it.

The safe haven was worth dying for.

But even though my answer might have saved a little left from the friendship we had. It will never be the same.

" I will see you tomorrow, nothing happened right?"

"Right"

Faith's Point of View.

"It's a Mistake" Liar. Liar. Liar.

I said these words but I wanted him to hold me like he was in the middle of the ocean and im the only piece of wood.

I wanted him to look at me like I was the last drop of water and he was standing in the burning sand of the desert.

I wanted him to kiss me like he sought the moment when our lips dissolve and dripple countless stars shining with the warmth of our hearts.

but I couldn't.

His lips pulled me in like electricity, but I dared pull away.

I promised myself.

I promised myself and to never pull someone into this mess I called my life.

Cause even if it feels stable now, I know It wouldn't last long, I know It will be crawling back to my life from every corner.

I'm sure that if he knew the half of it he wouldn't have thought about kissing me.

cause I am broken, and I fear that I never intended to be fixed.

I inhaled in to smoke from the half burned cigarette in between my lips, as I counted the many cigarette butts that were left in the smoke tray.

I have to push him away, before he pulls me in.