A Life of Lies

~3~

~"Being an atheist is a matter not of moral choice, but of human obligation"~

Lillie and Celeste had one class together Freshman year, only in the first semester but it was still something. They had science together, and even though the teacher got annoyed with them a few times, he let it slide and continued to let the annoying girls sit next to each other and work together in class. The class was filled with fun memories, memories of Celeste getting angry when kids kept throwing paper clips over her head, one getting caught in her hair, and memories of the girls doing random projects together, drawing together, even watching youtube together in the middle of class without getting caught. The teacher was never their favourite and he was always getting annoyed with the entire class and yelling, but it was still a fun experience. 

* * * * 

Celeste is an agnostic atheist

She does not believe in a god, but she can't disprove of one either. Simply, she doesn't believe in a god but if you prove to her one exists, she'll consider changing her belief's if its legit. 

She's never considered the bible to be proof enough to her. It's just a book, that could have been written by anyone. She needed science to prove it for her. Or maybe she just needs to wait until her inevitable death to see if she actually does goes to hell and sees Satan with her own two eyes. But for now, she believes that none of that stuff is real and when she dies it's just the end. 

Of course she's gotten questions about it, and her "not believing in god so she must be a satanist." but she usually just replies with a sigh and an eye roll before explaining that she "doesn't believe in anything. God, Satan, Heaven or Hell. Nothing." 

Her friends have always been supportive, even though the entire group was religious, highly so. 

Brielle and Lila were the most forgiving. Brielle pushed Celeste's buttons once, before realising she wasn't going to follow, and after realising that she gave up and accepted the weirdo for who she was. 

Lillie on the other hand was not as forgiving and kept pushing. 

* * * *

"So, Celeste, if you don't mind me asking, explain your whole god thing." Lillie started, taking a piece of chicken from her bowl and putting it into her mouth to consume. 

"I-uh- don't believe in god?" It came out as more of a question. Celeste grabbed a granola bar from her paper bag and began to open it. 

"But why?" 

"Why?" Celeste was confused, hasn't she explained this before? 

"Yes, why don't you believe in god?" 

"Because I didn't grow up on religion and I think more on the logical side and I don't logically think there is a god or Jesus. It just doesn't seem possible to me." 

"You know science has begun to prove that Jesus is actually up there and watching us?" If Celeste had any liquid in her mouth, she probably would have spit it towards Lillie at how hard she laughed. 

"Bullshit!" She found the fact that Lillie was trying to convince her extremely hilarious, "I'm not stupid Lillie." 

"It's true!" 

"I highly doubt it. Lillie I need proof, I'll believe the second I have legitimate proof." 

"Read the bible-" Celeste interrupts Lillie almost immediately 

"That's not proof Lillie." 

"Sure it is!" 

"But it's not, the problem with the bible Lillie is the fact that we have no idea who wrote the damned thing. Everything in there, for all we know, is made up and you guys are following some 40 year old's random rules, which are stupid by the way.I'm not bashing your religion, don't get me wrong okay? But I do not believe and nothing will change that. Your rules are weird. Why no coffee? If you keep the intake down its not that bad. I only drink it on weekdays and throughout the school year and I don't have headaches, I'm not addicted. I am perfectly fine. And coffee isn't the worst of things you could get addicted to if I'm to be honest. And no sleepovers? Why? I mean I understand not with guys but why not two girls? It's a normal thing for girls to have sleepovers as kids and these stupid ass made up rules are ruining kid's childhoods." Brielle nodded in agreeance. Sure she was religious, but she couldn't help but to understand where Celeste was coming from and agreeing. Their rules were pretty uncalled for and stupid. Celeste began to catch her breath after her ramble about the rules. 

"Why can't you just give him a chance Cece?" 

Brielle begins to gather her and Celeste's school binders and stuff because she knows their going to have to leave soon. She doesn't wish to see Celeste explode, and she knows she will if she gets too angry. 

"Because I don't follow blindly, and your religion reminds of a dictatorship. You have one person ruling over you all and you guys are following these weird ass rules without even a second glance at them and you guys are doing all this good just to get into heaven. You're following blindly and I don't do that. I never have and I never will." 

"Maybe you're just over-thinking." Lillie suggests, but Celeste is slowly getting more ticked off at her friend. She knows its just a little fight, and they'll be back to normal by tomorrow, but she's still angry. 

"Explain this to me Lillie. If god is real, then why is he taking little first graders in the worst way possible just a week or two before Christmas?" Celeste asks, bringing up the horrible memories of the Sandy Hook shooting that took place just a few years before, "Why is he taking young, happy people rather than old people in misery or terminal cancer patients who want to die but the state they live in wont allow them to end it humanely? And killing themselves is an apparent 'sin'," Celeste pauses, catching her breath, "hmm? explain that one to me Lillie. Why young ones?" 

"Well that's easy, he needed more angels." Celeste quickly stands up and stands next to Brielle whilst rolling her eyes. 

"Bullshit Lillie." She grabs her binder, writing notebook and pencil case from Brielle before grabbing her paper lunch bag and walking off quickly, Brielle following close behind in an attempt to catch up and catch her attention. 

Why can't she just accept me for who I am? Why?