Grudges - Joshler

18

triggers, my friends: there's a pretty legit od scene and I'm not giving anything away but if you wanna skip the first part, go ahead.

This is the last official chapter. :)

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When Josh reaches the frat without a problem, the party still going even though half the students have left to go home, he searches for Rami.

Don't, his subconscious is begging him, but he's ignoring that part of himself and listening to the devil on his shoulder telling him to do it, do it Josh, nobody cares about you anyway.

He shakes his head and walks up the stairs two at a time, trying to get to the room quicker.

No one wants anything to do with a pathetic drug addict.

He reaches the door and searches his pockets for his keys, fumbling around with shaking fingers until he finally unlocks the door and slips inside.

You're so worthless, Josh. All you do is ruin lives. If poor Brendon couldn't handle you, who the hell will?

He sees Rami filling his backpack with a bunch of shit, most likely for people he's going to sell to later and he whines childishly to get his attention.

"Hey Josh," Rami greets him, a soft smile on his face. "You good?"

Go on, you pathetic fuck. Beg him for more.

"No, I need to take the edge off." Josh's tongue is numb in his mouth, repeating the words Rami told him when he first gave him cocaine.

"Josh, baby, listen," Rami walks over to him and makes him sit down on the bed. "You need to slow down, okay? This isn't healthy. I know I give you what you want, but you need to calm down. I'm giving more to you than I'm selling these days, alright. I can't afford that any longer. Just smoke some weed and chill."

Your own boyfriend is denying you now. Good going, you waste of space.

"I have to go do some deals, I'll be back later." He pats Josh's cheek affectionately before picking up his backpack and slinging it across his shoulders.

Rami isn't even out of the room a minute before Josh is up and shoving things out of the way, looking for hiding spaces, places where Rami is sure to keep his hidden stashes.

That's right, look for it. No one would care if you fucking disappeared, Joshieboy.

Cheat on him again while you're at it, one last fuck up for you to cause before you go.

Break his heart, like Tyler broke yours.

He walks into the bathroom, breath coming out too fast as he opens drawers and finds a secret compartment wedged between the wood.

Ohh, there's the jackpot, baby. Use it. Use it and make yourself feel good.

Josh nods to his thoughts and picks up the small white-powder filled bag, dumping some along the counter. He grabs the razor Rami kept stashed away and parts it into 4 equal lines before pulling out a crumpled up one dollar bill from his pocket and rolling it up.

Fucking do it, do something right and get rid of yourself, you pathetic fucking faggot.

Josh leans down and snorts the lines, closing his eyes shut tightly as though that would make this entire situation better before he's done. He opens them and wipes under his nose, getting rid of the excess white powder.