Fighting the Wolves

Chapter Eightteen

Unimaginable hatred. All directed towards myself. The one, horrible, constant thing in my life.
Hatred is already a strong emotion. I feel like it becomes even stronger when it's aimed at oneself. Seeing as it's coming from within, playing with all of your insecurities and fears. You know you best. Therefore, you hate you the most.
Especially, in my case.

I look at myself in the mirror with disgust, most of my skin exposed in the plain black bikini. My most hated piece of clothing. I had bought it back in freshman year, hoping to gain some confidence with the flaws in my body; but after Jackson, hell took its toll on my mind. There is no confidence left. Nothing to hold me together.
I angrily take off the swim suit and change into a pair of comfy cotton shorts, and a tank top.

Missy wasn't kidding when she said there was going to be a major heat wave. It's 81 degrees outside and with the weather having been cold lately, it made this day ten times hotter than it already is. I hear a ping from my phone on my bed, I walk over and read the incoming text.

Unknown number: you going to that party?

Who is it? It's the same number that texted me over a week ago, probably Jackson.

But he told Lexi he couldn't get my number...?
Did he lie?
Why would he do that?

Confused, I lock my phone and stick it in the pocket of my shorts as I head towards the front door.

"I'll be back in a couple hours!" I call over my shoulder as I open the door to make my way outside.
"Wait, I don't want—" I hear my Mom's voice call after me as I close the door. I walk to the end of the driveway to wait for Lexi, meanwhile considering heading back to my room and hiding on my laptop. After a couple minutes, Lexi pulls up in front of my house in her convertible Punch Buggy.

"Get in loser." She commands with a smile and her best valley girl voice. I roll my eyes with a small smile as I get into the front seat, barely having time to put my seatbelt on before she screeches off towards the party. I honestly don't know how Lexi hasn't gotten into a car accident yet.

It doesn't take long to arrive across town at Missy's house. It's not hard to find, with the dozens of cars parked in front of her house, and the loud screams of mischievous teenagers coming from her backyard. I get out of the Jeep as soon as Lexi finishes parking, then proceed to make my way towards the backyard. Part of me is slightly curious, wondering if Jackson will show up. Or maybe it's just a sliver of hope that this party isn't like the last. Of course I'll end up saying that, but another part of me, (mainly the pit in my stomach) is telling me I should hightail it back home. Of course, I, going to stay anyways.

The entire backyard is filled with crazed teens, with no control over whatever stupid decisions await them. I can honestly smell the mistakes that are going to be made, the youth of today can honestly be so stupid sometimes.

Hypocrite.

I make my way over to a row of coolers and find myself a non-alcoholic beverage. Why would anyone want to not be in control of themselves, when there are so many people around? Besides the fact that Sprite is really tasty. Whoever thought to put lemon and lime together is a genius in my mind.

I go to sit down, only realizing as the sun beats against the skin on my shoulders, that I forgot sunscreen.

It's a pool party, there's bound to be some around.
Unless everyone here actually wants to get skin cancer.

I wander over to the back door leading to the house, glancing inside to find Missy. Fortunately, she's sitting on the couch with some of her friends.

"Hey Missy, do you by any chance have any sunscreen?" I ask, noticing one of her friends glancing at me from the side. She looks familiar, but I'm not necessarily good with faces.
"Yeah sure, Kendall here brought some organic stuff, its better for your skin!" I resist the urge to snort in laughter.

Organic sunscreen?
Good for my skin?
Is she serious?

"Follow me, its in my bag." Kendall, the girl who was looking at me weird leads me to her bag on a glass table on the deck just outside. She hands me the bottle after rummaging for a bit. She has two whole bottles of sunscreen in her bag, how many does she need?
"Thanks." I mumble as I step back a bit and begin to spray my arms, next are my legs. I hand back the bottle as I reach down to rub the lotion into my skin, doing my best to ignore the evil glint shining in Kendall's eye.

I see why she looks evil. As soon as I attempt to rub the lotion on my legs, it doesn't rub off. It's suspiciously white as well. Especially for a spray type lotion.
"The hell?" I try to rub my arms next, panicking as the whiteness doesn't leave my skin. I look up to see everyone laughing at me. The panic in my head won't allow me to hear them, but it doesn't stop me from seeing.

Kendall grabs her bottle of 'sunscreen' and sprays across my chest, only where my boobs are, then proceeding to spray my face. I close my eyes in the nick of time as what I now assume to be white paint is splattered onto my face. I bring my hands up to try and wipe the pain from my face, the next thing I know I'm surrounded by a cold liquid.

I'm in the pool.
I wonder what Jackson would do if he saw me like this.
I bet he'd laugh, just like the rest of them.

I quickly swim to the ladder at the opposite end of the pool and climb out. I make a beeline out of the backyard and down the driveway, passing Lexi on my way.

"What the hell happened!?" She tries to grab me but I smack her hand away, making me feel guilty for letting out my anger towards her.
"When will you learn that social functions and I don't get along!?" I snap, angrily stomping down the driveway and onto the sidewalk.

I'm going home, and never leaving my room.
EVER!

"Amelia?" Of course. Every time right? How freaking cliché. There, in his stupid red jeep is the bane of my existence.
"Can't anyone leave me alone today?" I half scream, beginning to walk faster in my soaking wet shoes.
"What happened?" I see Jackson put his car in reverse, puts it into park, and hops out. He grabs my arm in attempt to make me stop, but my angry wrath has only just begun.

I whip around quickly, driving my knee into his nuts, not even taking a second glance as he falls to the ground in a loud groan. My whole life got so much more complicated as soon as he returned.
I wish he never came back, mate or not, I hate him.

And I always will.

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Hulloooo, another chapter. I hope you all appreciate this chapter because it's super late and I'm freakishly tired and sleep deprived. I don't even care that it's 200 words less than what it usually is, I feel like I ended it well enough, it's FINE!

Song above is Help by Papa Roach.