Fighting the Wolves

Chapter Twenty Three

Time.
Everybody's greatest enemy. Especially mine. The unfortunately of today, is the realization of something. Time can most times be the equal to inevitability. Because everything happens eventually, there's no stopping it; hence, the reason for the definition of inevitable.
It's simple math, for how many years I haven't seen Jackson, for how weeks I've tried to avoid him since he came back, I'm due for the biggest shit storm of the year.

Ever heard of high school drama?
Get your phones ready, this shit's about to go viral.

Jackson grabs my arm whilst his mom is showing me a particularly embarrassing photo, excusing the both of us before leading me upstairs to his bedroom. My mind instantly reacts when I see the familiar room in front of me, causing a high amount of panic, and anxiety. I wrench my arm from Jackson's grasp as I turn to face him, watching with wide eyes as he closes the door.

"That's not how you were supposed to meet my mom.." I blink once. Twice.
Is that all he wanted to say?
"Whatever, friend." Jackson cringes at my tone with the last word.
"How else am I supposed to introduce you? You hate me!" He points an accusing finger at me.
"I wonder why that is!" I raise my voice, taking a step forward in an attempt to be intimidating. Jackson shrinks back slightly, I guess I can be scary when I want to be.

"I'm not the one who spread the rumors, I'm not the one decided that telling the whole school I'm a slut was a good idea!" My voice only gets higher as I ramble on, "I'm not the one who rained fire down on myself for the things you said! Do you know how many times people tripped me down the stairs, or trampled me in a stampede down the hall!?" Im yelling now, and I can tell by the thick bubble of anger in my chest, that I might just explode.

"I'm not the one who caused a girl to be bullied, sexually assaulted, and torn apart, all because you tried to kiss me at some stupid party, and told the whole damn school that I was easy for your dumb revenge!"

It's out.

I didn't want it out.
It's not the right time.
Am I ready for the consequences of telling him?

Jackson's face has turned white, not a singled word escaping his lips. Those damn lips. The whole reason for the countless scars raking my wrists. The whole reason I made the decision to make sure there was something to numb the pain. The whole reason I know that the whole damn world is better off without me.

If only I had courage...

I stand in place for a moment, confused as to how everything had suddenly reached this point. I suppose it always happens doesn't it, no secret can stay secret forever.
I wait a couple moments in pure silence, avoiding Jackson's eyes as much as possible. Before long, I can't stand waiting. I've kept this secret long enough, I've waited long enough. I don't need to wait for a reply that I can probably already imagine in my head.

How else does someone act to such a confession? It's always the same thing; 'I'm so sorry!', 'Are you okay?', and my personal favorite 'do you need to see someone?'. Yes, as if telling some stranger the details of how someone broke my soul will magically make things better. The logic that today's society teaches never ceases to disappoint me.

With stinging eyes, I rush out of Jackson's bedroom, down the stairs, and out the front door before anyone could even have a chance to look at my exit. When I'm outside is when I remember where I am; in the middle of a forest. No car for me to drive, no cellphone service to call Lexi, nothing.
Looks like it's going to end up like the first time I got stuck in this God forsaken home.

Time to wander around for an hour or two till I find my way back home.
Why couldn't Jackson just let me go home in the first place?

I stumble towards the forest entrance, not caring that I don't remember my way home from last time. My insides feel like they're melting, my brain causing me to go numb.

I told him.
Why...
Why did I do that?

I don't bother to look up as I become mesmerized by the forest floor as it swirls beneath my feet. Was the dirt in this town always purple?
I walk. I walk. And still, I walk. I ignore my phone when it blares from my back pocket in an attempt to grasp my attention, but the ground beneath me seems to interesting to look away from.
After some time, I bump into something firm, but not rough and hard like a tree. I keep my eyes to the ground, too broken to lift my head. I feel a firm and gentle hand lift my chin to meet their eyes, but my eyes close as my head is lifted, like one of those dolls you had as a kid.

"You okay?" The voice doesn't belong to Jackson, but it's still familiar. I open my eyes.
"Paul?" He gives me a soft smile at the sound of his name.
"Why are you alone out here? Where's Jackson?" My head drops again at the sound of you know who's name. After I don't reply for a bit, I feel a gentle grasp on my hand, then a slight tug. My feet move along with the tug, allowing Paul to lead me wherever he's taking me. Whether or not I trust him isn't an issue right now, all emotions have drained away to nothing.

~*~

My phone went off seven more times before Paul stopped. I lift my head up slightly to find myself standing in my driveway. I feel Paul let go of my hand, letting it drop to my side where it swung a few times before it stopped.

"I'm sorry I can't stay, but I'm sure I'll see you another time." Paul calls as he walks in the opposite direction of me. I try my best to say thank you, but my throat is dry; as is my white, painted skin. As soon as I'm alone, I simply lay down. Right smack in the middle of my driveway, allowing the suns rays to shine across my shame.

This reminds me of when...it happened. I did the exact same thing. The end of sophomore year, in the pouring rain, I laid down on the cold cement in attempt to wash away everything that had ever happened to me. I sigh at the memory, trying my best to forget.
I don't think I'll ever forget.

I'm startled when a loud honk jolts me upright. My hurting eyes are met with that of a strange black SUV. I don't recognize the car, but I still arise and move so that they can park in my driveway. Once the car is parked, a short man steps out. Despite his height, he's quite intimidating, looking extremely official in a FBI looking suit.

"Sorry kid, I'm just looking for Mr. and Mrs. Walker?" He asks, his voice cracking a bit at my last name.
"Uh, yeah...inside?" I furrow my eyebrows as the man walks around me and towards my house. The front door opens before he can even knock. My parents emerge with fake smiles as they greet him, their eyes finding me on the cement.
"Honey, we're having a little..chat." My dad looks at my mom questioningly, "Come and join us?" Their gaze pushing me to listen, I stand and follow everyone inside the house.

What the hell is happening?

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Woaahhhhhhhhhh
This stuff is crazzyyyyyyy.

Anyways. I have a headache, so enjoy.

Song above is