Fighting the Wolves

Chapter Thirty

How can anyone expect a person to say goodbye? There's so many factors to choose from when you're emotional and confused. There's also the memories that you can't sort through in order to pour out your feelings into a couple words as you drive off into the unknown. There's no good in goodbye. Can we just say bye? Who even came up with 'goodbye'? What's good about leaving anyone, especially if you care for them? Especially if leaving is going to break your heart and crush any aspirations and dreams you might have had at happiness?

How do I tell my best friend since forever, one simple word?

I can't.

I had to see her in person when I gave her the news. Her dad almost didn't let me in the house when he saw the state I was in, and the fact that he had heard about everything that I'd done within the past few days, it was a mess. I haven't exactly been the best of friends lately. Of course there were tears as soon as the words left my mouth. It made me feel even more guilty for something I have absolutely no control over.

I've never hated myself more than the very moment that I began packing. If I was going to leave my entire life: everything I've ever known behind, then I want to leave all of these useless things behind as well. They remind me of too many memories. Even the most insignificant item is giving me flashbacks to these past couple months.

I didn't think it was possible to cry at the sight of a pillowcase.

Today is the final day. The last few boxes are being packed as we speak, the last of my life is soon going to be shipped off in a enourmous semi-truck. The thought of leaving my childhood home makes me want to vomit with anxiety. There's honestly no reason for me to be upset at leaving this house, it is in fact, just a house. One large object. But I grew up here. Everything I've ever learned to do, was in this house.

When I learnt how to ride a bike with my dad, when I ate my first piece of chocolate and went into a sugar craze, when my mom taught me to dance because my dad kept stepping on my feet. Or even when I got the swine flu at age eleven and threw up all over my uncles thanksgiving dinner.

Good memories, or bad ones, this house is the thing that raised me. My parents helped, sure, but this house is what sheltered me. It kept me from the people at school, it kept me from the weather outside, and it brought me my best friend when I needed her.

I hear a horrifying noise gush of air before a series of beeps come from outside my front yard. I look out in confirmation that the noise is in fact, the moving truck. It's officially time to say bye to this house of mine.

Time to say bye to what's left of my childhood.

I hear the front door open with lots of shuffling as my parents and a couple moving men begin to grab boxes and pile them into the truck. I don't want to help them pack my things, which is a douchey move, but all considering, I'm allowed to be moody. (Just this once)

I'm sitting on the now empty floor of my old bedroom, thinking and reminiscing all the times I've spent here. All the sleepovers with Lexi I had over the years. I hear a knock on the door to interrupt me from my thoughts. (Speak of the devil) Lexi enters my room with a grim smile on her face, sitting on the crappy carpet next to me. She leans her head on my shoulder as I stare at the wall, where we dented the drywall during our last sleepover.

Long story short, never use a curling iron whilst having an argument.

"How do I say it?" I mumble, voicing my earlier existential thoughts on the word 'goodbye'.
"Say what?" Lexi lifts her head from my shoulder to look me in the eyes. I see only sadness in them where there should only ever be joy. My best friend isn't allowed to be sad on my behalf. I shouldn't be the one to make her sad. What kind of best friend am I?
"How do I say the word?" Lexi rolls her eyes and pushes my shoulder so that I'm nearly lying on the floor.
"What word, you illiterate dingbat?" I almost smile at her creative insult.
"That word people are forced to say when they have to leave one another?" I explain. She nods her head in understanding.
"You mean 'goodbye'?" I look down at my jeans, my legs are folded beneath me the way a child's does.
"There's nothing 'good' about it." I mutter, playing with the fabric of my socks.
"That's pretty true. There's never anything good about saying bye. But if you think about it, what people most likely mean, is to wish people good when they say bye." I blink at her in response. "Besides that I think that saying goodbye insinuates people to have a good life until they see one another again." My mom walks into the room, just as Lexi is finished giving me her speech which has brought me to tears.

We both stand as my mother gestures it's time to go. The two of us walk in silence out to my family's car, the moving men are locking up their truck just as we reach our car. My parents climb into the front seats, leaving me to sit in the back with my chosen entertainment. My choosings for car ride entertainment are as follows: My pillow pet, in case I take a nap, my phone and some earbuds, and my favorite book.

I hear the car start along with the moving truck next to us, signaling that I need to get in the car before I'm left behind. I turn to Lexi, tears staining my cheeks as similar wetness reflects on hers. I hug her with as much strength my emotionally broken body can muster, and sob into her shoulder. I can feel Lexi's tears soak into my shoulder, and the sound of my impatient parents turning on the radio inside the car.

After a couple more seconds, I break the hug with reluctance. I sniff and do my best to wipe the tears from my eyes, but new ones quickly replace the old ones as soon as they're gone. I look at my best friend one last time through blurry vision, finally mustering the courage to say my new number one hated word.

"Goodbye."
"Goodbye." And with Lexi's reply, I climb into the backseat and buckle in. The car is shifted into drive and we begin to move. The window seems to be a screen that's showing everything in one long time lapse as we exit the small town.

Just as we get to the very edge of the city, I feel one last tug at my heart, causing me to look out the window at the passing forest. I'm not sure I'm seeing right, but I think I see a large wolf running parellel us in the woods. Im not sure if it's real, but I do know who it is. I let one last tear slip down my cheek as we pass the 'come back soon!' Sign that lies on the border of my old city. The wolf stops at the border, along with my last thought of my old life as my family and I officially begin anew:

Goodbye.

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Well then. That's it.
That's the end of this book.
How do you feel? Did you like it? I hope you did. It was quite a wild ride for me as well. But don't worry, book two will be coming soon. Well, maybe not soon...but a teaser will be. I'm pretty excited for it, I have so many plans and ideas for the book.

But until I post again, I want to say thank you for taking the time to read my book. I appreciate every single one of you and hope you all enjoy yourselves as you continue to read books, and stories on wattpad.