Fighting the Wolves

Chapter Nineteen

I turn my street corner, the anger inside me has slowly turned into depression as I step onto my street.

Of course.
I just can't be punished enough.

I look down the street to see a familiar Jeep parked directly accords from my house. I stand for a moment, wondering if I should even attempt to make an effort to run to my house, or to just turn around right now. I take a couple more tentative steps toward my house before deciding that leaving would probably be the best option at the moment.

I glance at the Jeep one more time, noticing that the car is on, as it wasn't before.

Crapety crap crap.
He saw me.
It must be my lucky day.

I quicken my pace, turning to cut through my neighbors backyard so that I can lose Jackson. I can hear his car behind me now as I jog towards the fence of the corner house's backyard.

"Amelia!" Why does my name sound good when he says it? It shouldn't be possible to be attracted to someone's voice. "Wait up!" I hear his engine cease, followed by the sound of his shoes in the grass. I make my best attempt to climb the fence before he can reach me, but familiar arms wrap around me and pull me gently to the ground.

Funny how the last time he held me he was kidnapping me.

"Let. Me. Go." I seethe, squirming in his hold, despite how comforting it feels. My back pressed against his chest. He's not as muscular as you would think a werewolf would be, his brother got those genes. Jackson is more lean, also shorter than his brother as well. Somewhere around 6'1. Almost as if he was made for me, because that's how I always described my perfect guy. Except with this whole mate thing, he kind of was made for me.

"Please let me go," my voice comes out quiet and weak, the opposite of how I want to be right now. I feel so fed up with the bullying, and honestly this paint kind of burns a bit.
"Just tell me what happened." And so I do. For once, I tell him what happened. Not all of it, just the bit at the party. The rest of me he's going to have to figure out, because he's a clueless asshole.

Once I finish, a thick silence fills the air. It's a comfortable silence that makes me want to fall asleep, just like any damsel in distress in one of those fantasy stories. I fight the urge, because I long to be a strong female role, like Wonder Woman. Taking the lead, not taking anyone's shit for once. Making my own destiny.

Maybe that's partially why I hate this whole 'mate' ordeal. Because I don't have control who I'm supposed to be with, Jackson was chosen for me. I'm not allowed to just look from a distance, crush on a guy until we eventually make contact and eventually connect ourselves together like the pieces of a puzzle. A relationship people could envy, with just a drop of madness.

I can't have that.
I'm now allowed that.
Whatever decided that this is my fate took that away from me.
Anyang that could have made my life better.
Stolen.

"Please...just let me go, Jackson." I softly plead. I'm surprised when his arms slide off of me, sitting me in the grass by myself. He doesn't leave, but he allows me to sit on my own, allowing me at least one bit of freedom. I feel cold now though. I hate that, I hate everyone and everything that has to do with this werewolf situation.

"As much as you play clueless, and try your best to joke it off," I swallow hard as words begin to tumble out of my mouth, each one coated in emotion that I've held back for far too long. "You're the reason that these things happen to me; You're the reason that I'm not allowed to live every day of my life." I stand up from the grass, tightening my fists with tears welling up in my eyes.

All the times I couldn't cry,
Why do I have to cry now?
These emotions that he creates make me different
I'm not sure if I like it.

"Maybe that's all I am, is clueless." Jackson speaks up, still sitting in the grass beneath me. My eyes furrow in confusion. "Maybe I remember what I said all the time, but maybe I never considered consequences." I'm angry now.
"How could you now!? After saying what you said!" I raise my voice, my threat feeling clogged with sobs that threaten to burst out in tidal waves.
"Maybe because I was stupid! Maybe because I didn't think other people were that stupid! Maybe it wasn't even my idea to say those things in the first place!" I look down, deep into his blue eyes to show him myself. What I look like, on the inside; raw.
"Whether or not that is your excuse, it still doesn't cover for the last four years that made my life hell!" I'm yelling now, part of me hopes the neighborhood won't hear, the majority hopes the whole world will hear. I want everyone to hear what Jackson did to me, I want everyone to know what happens when people can't shut their damn mouths.
"I'm not making an excuse, I'm making an attempt to apologize," he pauses, "I didn't think this would be so hard, seeing as how I feel about you."
"How could you feel anything for me? You don't even know me." I hiccup, a treacherous tear streaks down my face. Another falls, then another, and another. I can taste their salt on my lips as my head falls limp, my chin just resting on my chest.

I'm defeated. He can't even apologize properly. He can't even say two words and mean it.

Does he even regret it?
Even if we're mates, can that stop people from hating one another?
I feel like I hate him.
I want to hate him.
Yet somehow, I'm not 100% sure anymore.

I sniff, wiping my nose with my hand. I notice the countless scars that run up and down my arms, I shudder at the thought of the pain they have caused me. I nearly forgot how visible they are in a tank top. I wonder if he notices.
Although I myself have noticed that most people don't see them unless they are looking for them.

Speaking from experience.

Without looking up, I make an attempt to walk away from this scene of angst that Jackson and I are caught in, only to trip over his foot. I'm about to fall sideways when I feel a hand gently grasp my wrist to help me up, only resulting in me falling towards Jackson instead of the grass beside him. Both of his arms reach up to catch me, but he must be caught off guard seeing as I still literally fall into his chest, the rest of me following after with, unfortunately, my head going last.

Despite the fall feeling gentle, I know neither of us have control over where I end up. Where I end up, is the main issue. I feel my head fall forwards last, my lips hitting something soft. Soft and slightly wet. I open my eyes to be met with wide blue ones, with Jackson and I's lips smashed together as if we are a couple.

I've never kissed anyone before. I certainly never imagined having my first kiss with Jackson. Never did I imagine that my first kiss would happen under these circumstances. I didn't know my first kiss would be an accident.

But if it's an accident, then why does it feel so right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damn, what the hell just happened? I'm the author and I don't even know.
What d you guys think?
What do you guys think Jackson did all those years ago?
What do you think happened to Amelia during Jackson's time away?
Comment your opinion please!

Song above is Voodoo Doll by 5 Seconds of Summer.

One of the best bands in existence in my opinion.