Love At First Selfie

5

"Leia?" he asked, but he didn't need to. It seemed that he already knew who I was and this was probably due to him remembering how unenthusiastic I was with him and also how I had squealed my name out whenever Brook had asked me it.

"Yeah?" I raised my hand, shaking uncontrollably. He stared me down, making me too petrified to say any more.

"Leila has told me about your wild fantasies to do with Brooklyn. Let me tell you a little bit of reality: the ain't ever gonna happen. Fuck off back home and die for all he cares - the world would be a better place without you." Almost on cue, another guy came strutting in - Andy.

"Wait..what's going on?" he asked, obviously confused at what Rye was doing.

"Nothing, now get out of my classroom at once!" Miss Boucannon yelled, interrupting the two celebrities in front of her.

"Excuse me." Rye retorted.

"Now." Miss Boucannon was staring him down and would get him out of the classroom if it was the last thing that she did.

"Excuse me. Do you know who I am?" Andy chuckled as his so-called-friend rolled his neck and pointed at the poor teacher.

"Do you know who I am?! Whilst you were still in nappies, I was making something of my life. Whilst you are singing in that horrific voice with your even more horrendous vocabulary, I was reaching out to the hearts of my pupils and captivating their imaginations with skills that you obviously haven't got! GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM!" Rye just got roasted - and boy did he know it.

His face was like a storm cloud as Andy stifled giggles as his mate's expression. Sloaping off, Miss finally began the lesson.

But I couldn't concentrate. What he had said to me was replaying in my mind over and over again.

Fuck off back home and die for all he cares - the world would be a better place without you.

"Leia? See me after class please." Miss Boucannon snapped me out of my daydream in a flash - this couldn't be good.

And, it wasn't...

"Leia, sweetie - what did those thugs want? Is it just because you like someone and they don't like that?" I nodded, slowly, surprised at her tone. She was never this soft. "Leia...try and keep your head down for a bit - maybe stay off and take a holiday whilst this dies down. I have noticed that this has been going on for some time now." This was definately getting too weird.

"Okay - I will. Thank you, miss." Getting up to leave, not having really listened to what she was saying, my tight jumper sleeve stretched up my arm, revealing all. Miss Boucannon grabbed my wrist, not hurting me, but stopping me in my tracks and left to swear inside the comfort of my own head.

"Not so fast. Leia - what is this? Self-harming? Honey, don't do it! Why? Why did you do it? Look, I know you probably won't answer me - but, is it because of Leila and Alexa. Nobody can hide what they have been doing. Backing you into a corner and making you feel bad for being you. Darling, I have been through this battle - why?" Her eyes were wide and pleading. They seemed like they were willing to help; but, before I knew it, my eyes had tears in them and I was crying.

Crying in pain.

Crying in sadness.

Crying that someone cared about me.

Crying that I was found out and couldn't hide it anymore.

Sniffing, I answered her, "I don't matter. That's why. Let me go and I promise that I will stop! Please..."

"I have made that promise before - I don't believe you. I will tell you what I am going to do: I will get in contact with my old councellor and tell them about you - she's a great person and made me feel so much better about myself. Sweetie, you need to talk to someone and get it off of your chest. The sooner you get this sorted, the sooner you can get back to normal."

The thing was, was that this had become such a part of my life that this was normal. They say self harm is meant to last up to 5 years in teenagers. Hell, I have been going through it for eight.