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*WARNING: CONTAINS PARTS THAT SOME OF YOU MAY FIND SADDENING TO READ.*

I had made it upstairs and into my room - the door was locked at the curtains drawn with the only pieces of equipment I needed next to me: a knife and a pen. 

I had written a letter and placed it on the living room table for my parents to read when the time was right - or, at least until they came home and the pen was still clutched in to my shaking hand. 

Blood poisoning and loss was how I had planned it. Pen ink and a sharp knife. 

Perfect. 

Lying down on my bed, I pressed play on my stereo, listening to one of my favourite songs, There's Nothing Holding Me Back by Shawn Mendes. Picking up the knife, I  could have sworn that the front door opened and the phone began ringing. 

But, for now, I didn't care. 

The knife was being drawn ever closer to my arm and, suddenly, my shoulder was slit. 

It didn't hurt like it should have. 

I stabbed the tip of the pen into my wound and pressed as hard as I could. 

This time, I screamed. 

The pain was excruciating and I wanted to die quicker. 

So, with tears streaming down my paled face, I stuck the knife into my abdomen. No scream escaped my lips this time round. 

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