Diary of a Band Whore | Got7 (Discontinued)

09

November 17th – (Yugyeom's P.O.V)

"Happy birthday!" the crowd in the living room cheered out. I smiled softly looking around at the familiar faces; the band, Daeni and Maysa. When my eyes landed on her face, I beamed; she was talking to Youngjae about something. When she talked, she'd often unconsciously play around with the tips of her hair which was now fading. As if she could feel my stare, she looked directly at me and grinned. Smiling back, I waved in her direction. Taking out my phone, I sent her a text.

Me: You look beautiful :)

As I watch her open her phone, I see her smile as she blushed.

Maysa: Well you look beautiful yourself birthday boy <3

Me: Come give the birthday boy some love :(

Instantly I heard her chuckle then say her goodbyes to Youngjae before making her way towards me; she sat down on my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck and planting a kiss on my cheek which made my heart flutter. I nuzzled my face into the crook of her neck, inhaling the scent of her Cherry Blossom perfume.

"You're 23 now, starting to get old, huh?" she teased as she ruffled my hair.

"I'm not old Maysaaa" I whined, playfully biting her neck. I could feel that it made her hold her breath for a second; but she shortly composed herself again.

"So what does the birthday boy have planned?" she asked, running her hands through my hair.

"Well the guys and I plan on having some drinks. You can join if you want" I answered.

"I'm not much of a drinker, but I'll think about it" she smiled, kissing the top of my head.

Entering the kitchen, Jackson looked at Maysa in my lap; a slight pout appeared on his face but it disappeared just as fast. He walked past us to get more cake then left again, walking over to Jinyoung on the couch; the two began talking about something, earning glances in our direction from Jinyoung making me assume we were the topic of their chat. Jackson has been a bit off lately, I should talk to him about it late.

"I'm going to go home and get ready for tonight, see you later Yugie" she said, interrupting my thoughts.

"Okay, take care" I replied. Before she left, she planted a soft kiss on my cheek which our admirer across the room watched.

Later That Night

Preparing for the party, I started setting up the snacks and drinks table in our lounge room. Some of the guys have already begun drinking. Turning on the music, Jackson and Jaebum started to dance; their slightly intoxicated bodies moving like Jell-O. I chuckled as I watched them.

"Annyeong Yugie!" a voice I'd know anywhere cheered; turning around, I spot a beaming Maysa along with Daeni and the girl I assumed was Mi Na, BamBam wouldn't shut up about her coming tonight. Maysa ran up to me, wrapping her arms tightly around my waist and hugging me. Smiling, I hugged her back gently; my tall figure hovered over her 5'7" self. She was the perfect height to snuggle into the crook of my neck or my chest during hugs which I found adorable.

Jackson sluggishly approached us; a smile appeared on his face when his eyes landed on Maysa. She wrapped her arms around his neck hugging him; he wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close. Pulling away from the hug, she planted a kiss on his cheek which made my chest hurt from jealously. It was pretty obvious that I have feelings for Maysa; she made me happy, whenever I saw her my heart would skip a beat.

I felt a connection with her; a connection I haven't felt since I was 16 during debuting for the band. I've never really been the type to fall in love; I've had crushes in the past but when it came to that special connection, I've only felt it with two people; back in 2014 around the time we debuted, I started getting close with Jackson. At that age, I didn't know my sexuality, I went with straight because it was the norm; Korea's views on gays also didn't help. I felt a romantic connection with him, very similar to the connection I have with Maysa. I never told Jackson about my feelings because I was afraid to ruin our friendship; he's flirty and touchy with the band but I'm sure he isn't gay whereas I was a confused boy. Eventually I came to terms with my sexuality, and came out as bisexual to the guys who were thankfully accepting.

However, this time I plan on acting on my feelings, even if they aren't reciprocated; I can't live my life ignoring my feelings due to fear of rejection.

Countless drinks later, the lounge was full of intoxicated bodies dancing to the music; Jaebum was sitting on the couch with Youngjae straddling his lap, the two were having a heated make out session. Mi Na had her back against BamBam's chest, her body moving in sync with the music against him. Both Jinyoung and Mark were chatting with Daeni and Maysa; the four were laughing away, while sipping on their sprite and vodka.

I had walked into the kitchen to get more ice for the drinks when a drunken Jackson staggered in after me, plopping down at the table. "Hey Yugieee" he hiccupped. "Can we talk?"

"Yeah of course" I nodded as I sat in front of him. He ran his hair through his shaggy blonde hair as he sighed. I looked over at him in concern.

"Have you ever been in love?" he asked, looking at me. I gulped, thinking about my response.

"Y-yes" I stuttered, hoping he didn't press on with questions. While I waited for his response, I took the time to look at his appearance. Jackson was typically the talkative type but in this moment, he barely spoke a word; he seemed so fragile.

"I think I love someone" he spoke gently, looking down at his hands.

"Who?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

Slowly he lifted his head up, looking straight into my eyes before he spoke.

"Maysa" he admitted, making my chest ache. My best friend loves the same girl I do; that makes my chances of getting her slim because who could say no to the wild and sexy Jackson Wang.