Diary of a Band Whore | Got7 (Discontinued)

15

March 27th – (Jackson's P.O.V)

"Good practice today guys!" I cheered on most of the guys; Yugyeom and BamBam were absent from today's practice. BamBam suddenly wasn't feeling well so Yugyeom offered to keep him company and take care of him, but it was probably an excuse to be with Maysa as well; the two have been spending so much time together that it makes me feel like a third wheel in the relationship.

"Are you coming?" Mark said, interrupting my thoughts. Nodding, I follow him out of the JYP building and towards his car; as he drove the car, I looked out the side window staring at passing buildings.

"Are you okay? You seem out of it lately" a concerned Mark asked.

"Just a lot on my mind Markie" I sighed, glancing at his direction. His focus was on the road but I could tell he kept glancing at me from the corner of his eye.

"You know you can always talk to me" he stated, trying to get an answer.

"Thanks but I don't want to talk about it" I answered, staring out the windshield. The rest of the car ride was silent except for the songs coming from the radio. We stopped by the store to pick up some groceries since we were running low; as we arrived at the dorm, I helped Mark bring the bags inside. Unlocking the door, I walk in and lodge the bags on the counter top before packing everything away.

"Thank you" Mark smiled softly as he patted me on the back.

"You're welcome Markiepooh" I teased as I ruffled his hair. Suddenly my phone went off.

Baby Girl: I'm gone out with Yugie and Bammie, take care Oppa <3

Me: Okay, stay safe baby girl :) Love you both

Lying on the couch, I scroll through twitter; nothing interesting caught my attention until I saw a photo of my two lovers that some paparazzi or fans must have taken. We haven't told the public about our relationship yet but people were already suspecting that Yugyeom and Maysa were together, since they went out together most of the time, especially without me.

Normally, I'm not much of the jealous type but I can't help but feel jealousy deep down in my stomach. For me, jealously tends to lead to bad thoughts. But as I look at my two lovers holding hands in their matching sweatshirts without me, I couldn't help but feel like an old toy that was tossed aside. Shoving my phone into my pocket, I get up and sling my jacket over my arms.

"I'm going out" I yelled upstairs to alert Mark that I'll be leaving for a little while. Taking the keys off the counter, I put my shoes on and leave the dorm; getting into the car and starting it up, I drive to a place I haven't been to in a long time; the club.

Arriving there, I park the car. Locking the door, I walk towards the front door of the familiar club I spent a lot of time at when I had bad thoughts.

I walk into the semi-old building and instantly I'm hit with the smell of whiskey mixed with something fruity along with the scent of sweat from the dancing intoxicated bodies that fill the dance floor; sitting at the bar, I ask the bartender for a shot of vodka. Putting the rim of the glass to my lips, I tilt my head back allowing the liquid to sting my throat; God, it's been such a long time since I've felt this. Shot after shot, I threw the liquid down my throat until it was numb, the vodka no longer burning my throat.

"Give me some whiskey please" I politely asked the bartender who told him to call him by his name, which was Jaehyo.

"If you don't slow down sir, you might do something you'll regret" Jaehyo said as he handed me a tall glass of whiskey.

"T-thanks" I hiccupped before taking a sip. "But I'll be fine, don't worry." Before he could reply, another voice chimed in; a familiar one that I haven't heard in a long time, one that I never thought I'd hear again.

"Jackie!" the slightly drunken voice exclaimed as it neared me; turning my head to the side, I spotted Allison Park, my ex girlfriend, approaching me at the bar. "Miss me?" she asked, batting her eyelashes as she lodged her small hand on my thigh.

"What do you want Allison?" I spoke up, sounding slightly annoyed as I chugged my whiskey.

"I wanted to see you Jackie" she pouted at me before brushing her blonde to blue ombre hair behind her ear. "I miss you" she whispered in my ear as she inched her hand up farther; the ungodly amount of alcohol in my system mixed with my bad thoughts were clouding my mind.

Suddenly, she grabbed my hand and pulled me into the crowd of drunken bodies. Pressing her back against my chest, she started dancing against my body. My body started to sway with her, clearly taking control over my brain-dead state of mine self. She then turned her body and wrapped her arms around my neck tightly. Unexpectedly, her lips attacked mine; closing my eyes, I foolishly allow it to happen as I kiss her back. Pulling each other closer, we continue to roughly make out in the corner of the dance floor.

However, not long into the kiss, my body started to sober itself up as my mind and conscience woke back up. Instantly pushing her away, I begin to walk away from her. She tried to pull me back but I just simply looked at her with a cold stare.

"Never talk to me again, okay?" I harshly spoke as she whimpered, backing away from me. I rush outside with tears in my eyes, looking for my car. As soon as my eyes land on it, I jog over and unlock the door, hopping it. Starting it up, I pull out of the parking lot and managed to make it onto the main road. I try to focus on the road through my teary eyes and drunken state but suddenly all I could see was a blinding white light before nothing at all; except the cold, black abyss.