Disney Fairies Part 2! Hopefully this isn't as bad as the last... Wish me luck!
Author: Lara Bergen
Pages: 113
Lexile Level: 600
Publish Date: 2006
"...her loaf-pan bed."-3
Typical loaf-pans are 9"x5" and fairies are about 5" tall. So either Tink's bed sleeps 9 fairies or her bad is twice as long as it needs to be. This makes me want to repeatedly slam my head against a wall.
"...dusting-talent fairy..."-24
There are actually specific fairies for DUSTING? Why? AAAHHHH!! HELP!! I'M SO CONFUSED!!! I'm still trying to wrap my head around how every fairy has one very oddly specific "talent."
"...harvest-talent fairies...dairy-talent fairies...grass-weaving talents...water-talent fairy...hairdressing,floor-polishing,and window- and wing-washing fairies...music-talent fairy"-25
AND YET THEY PERSIST!!!!!!!! I ACTUALLY ALMOST THREW THE BOOK AT A WALL!!!!! I THINK I MIGHT BURN THIS WHEN I'M DONE!! BUT NOT BEFORE I GO TO A MENTAL THERAPIST!!!!
"'I was just passing through the orchard and thought I'd say hi'"-12
"The Currant Orchard was not far..."-33
"...she couldn't carry it more than an inch at a time."-35
So painting fairy can't carry the whole basket of berries at once, but needs as many as she can get, cool. But it's already been said TWICE how close the orchard is to painting fairy's house. SO WHY DOESN'T SHE JUST TAKE TWO TRIPS?!?!?!?! THIS. BOOK. WILL. BE. THE. DEATH. OF. ME.
"...animal-talent fairy"-36
By now I have accepted my fate.
"...she couldn't even tell the gnats hovering around to go away."-36
This makes it sound like the gnats in the book are tiny and annoying just like normal gnats, but they are normal gnats, so they would seem much bigger to five inch fairies then to five and a half foot humans. So, after some quick calculations, I've concluded that the length these gnats would be the length of the fairy's middle finger. And if these gnats were scaled up to human proportions that would be a four inch gnat. I don't think anyone is going to be swatting away 34 cubic inches of bloodsucking evilness. I would be running for my life.
"Water soaked into fairy wings, as into a sponge. And if the stream was deep enough, waterlogged wings could drag her under."-37
...Wet sponges float.
"The stream doesn't like it!"-49
Why did they have to make the stream a sentient being?
So basically painter fairy made someone a portrait. Then having a portrait became a fad. Then painter fairy was like forget this, I refuse to paint anymore portraits. The End.
Now I have to prepare for the Giant Gnat Apocalypse.
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