-Words from me-

Miranda

I expected her to always be there
I guess that's where I went wrong.
I should've known it would end.
Everyone l leaves me anyway so why did I expect more from you?
Maybe it's the way you held me and softly sang into my ear as I crumbled under the weight of the world
Or maybe it was the smile that was so contagious it'd make me smile even if I felt like I was dying
Maybe it was the way you could take away my pain
Or maybe the way I thought you were
Maybe it was because I expected so much
Maybe it was because you were the only one there for awhile
But when I asked if you loved me, if we'd ever date,
You always reassured me
For when we were 18
Damn that number,
Fucking 18.. it'll always remind me of you
But I knew;
Deep down I knew you'd never actually love me
I knew I wasn't your #1
Or your first choice
But I had to hold onto that strand of hope you gave me
But I found out..
I made you say it..
I needed to hear the truth
The "it's not likely"
Fuck..
I knew it was coming..
I knew that's what you'd say.
I should've felt it coming
You always promised you'd never leave,
I promised to..
But then I realized;
We weren't meant for each other
And damn did that realization hurt
But it hurt more for me to hold on
It hurt more for you to try and fix me
Because I wasn't broken until you tried fixing me
So I decided to leave,
For myself I decided it wasn't worth it to cry myself to sleep because I wasn't good enough for you
So I told you I needed to be alone..
And the part they hurt the most
Was you simply saying
"Alright, take care"
You didn't try to keep me
You didn't try
You let me go
So now I've been crying for three days..
My heart is shattered
But I knew it was right
I knew it was what I should do
But fuck..
This hurts.
Maybe I made the wrong decision..
Maybe it was right..
All I know is I'm hurt..
But now I know;
Just how important I was to you.