lover is a day

me and the Void go way back

we talk big about moving into small yellow houses after college
you, a girl soaked in your dreams like tissue paper under water
and me, a vessel for you to place your purpose in

i try (and try) to unwind the briar rose in my stomach
you try (and try) to imagine me as a girl encumbered by thorns
not scarred or bruised
it is not an easy feat so i imagine i should be proud of you

everyday i thank God for tugging on your neck enough for you to look in my direction
everyday i thank God that you have stayed despite the ice cubes underneath my skin

i know that i am cold
but i get flustered by just looking at the back of your neck
so how can you expect me to hold onto your blessed hands?

you told me once that loving me was like driving for miles with an empty gas tank
that us together was defiance to logic and reason
a ghost town with a population of two

i told you once that if i could eat up all of your sadness,
carry it like a peach pit in my stomach,
i would
everytime

now you say i am too eager to keep my happiness tied with ribbon and inside of another
you say that people shouldn't pretend to be as blank as i do
that my chameleon personality is frightening, not endearing

i thought you loved me once but i guess the act is up

i still choose you over anyone
and i think you'd choose me too
if you only knew who i am

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OPAL the collaborative zine I've been working on forever is out now and i hope y'all read (digitalis are completely free) links are all over my profile! much love xx