Bruised

chapter nineteen.

"Are you fucking serious?" Josh's voice rang through the speaker of the phone. Great we just started dating and we're already having our first fight.

"Josh, when he offered the ride home I wasn't even thinking about what happened before that. I felt really guilty about it afterwards though and that's why I called to tell you immediately."

I heard Josh sigh, "Please stop talking to Justin," he said sounding disappointed in me, as he should be, I messed up talking to Justin and I realized that.

"I promise I won't," I told him. I fully trusted myself not to talk to Justin again, I mean it can't be that hard we only have 9 months of school left together.

"I'm gonna go," he said and hung up without giving me a chance to say goodbye. I don't blame him, I already fucked up.

I shut my phone off and sat it on the table and fell asleep, not caring if anybody text me, and ignoring my mom when she knocked on my door telling me dinner was done. I had no appetite.

I got bored so I decided to play some games on my phone but I ended up getting a message from Justin unfortunately.

Justin: I'm sorry about today.

I didn't want to reply. So I decided I wouldn't.

Justin: Hello?

Me: Don't remind me of today, and please leave me alone. We shouldn't talk anymore.

I waited for a reply, but it took a while before I got one. If I got that text I don't really know what I would say either to be honest.

Justin: I'm sorry, can we please still be friends?

For some reason I completely felt bad for Justin, it seems like he still wants to talk to me and I felt bad for having to turn him down. But I knew I had to, for Josh.

I clicked on his contact, and took a deep breathe and decided I had to block his number, and get rid of it. I would still see him at school, but I didn't want to be reminded of him anywhere else. I don't know why but it still feels like Justin's my friend, I just can't talk to him but I want to, because we had good times and I feel bad for just completely leaving his life.

Now that I feel slightly better about the situation, I decided I could probably go eat something without feeling like complete shit. I grabbed dinner leftovers and heated the up in the microwave. I took a few bites, and I was wrong, I still feel like complete shit and cannot eat anything. I'm just not in the mood. I put everything back into the refrigerator and grabbed a big glass of water and took it to my room.

All I really wanted right now was a hot shower. I went to my bathroom and started playing music on my phone and got right into the shower. I caught myself singing a few times, but eventually just sang anyway since I was home alone. I let the hot water run down my body and I couldn't stop thinking about Josh, and how much I love him, but how much I was scared he was going to leave me already.

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Sorry this is extremely short but I wanted to start off the next chapter in Josh's POV so I thought here was a good place to end it..

I'm going to update the next chapter right after this so don't worry pals.

8.12.17