And they called it Bucky Love

Part 7 - Is it Him?

Oh shut up Maggie – says my practical side - you're really getting ahead of yourself now. Meeting him face to face might be a good start don't you think?

Well yeah, says my reckless side – but you can never plan too early for the rest of your life with the man of your dreams.

Oh really? You think he's gonna take one look at you with your pony-tail hair and go "Wow – hold me back , there she is – Miss America!"?

Ok, so, maybe not, but...but....

And so, the arguments in my head raged war with each other, whilst on the outside, I maintained a façade of dignity and calm.

"Where's the siting!" I screeched at top volume, right in Steve's ear.

"Whoa there Magpie, I'm right here"

"Sorry, carried away again"

"No worries, so, it's in Romania"

"Right....okay. So......that's somewhere over the other side yeah?"    

Steve gave me a look then. He's getting almost as good as Tony with those. He rolled his eyes at me.

"Yes, its over the "other side"  he said, shaking his head at my daftness.   "Eastern Europe. A newspaper seller recognized his picture from the ones that have been circulated."

"Wow, that's insane! All this time we've been using the best tech that Tony has to offer, and it all comes down to a guy on the street with a good memory for faces." I made a mental note to write and thank that guy....in fact, scrap that, he's coming to the wedding. He's my new best friend. I'm not joking.

Serious face again. "So, what's our next move?"

"Well, we need to check the validity first. You're aware as much as anyone how many alleged sitings there have been since Vienna"

I was of course. I don't think there was a single person on the planet who didn't now know of the name Winter Soldier and how he was believed responsible for a bomb being detonated at the signing of the Sokovia Accords in Vienna, only a month ago. It was headline news around the world, and since then, there'd been more sitings of him than Elvis.

But the worst thing, was seeing the look on Steve's face when they released the picture of the suspect. I knew Steve was devastated, but I also knew that he didn't want to believe that his former friend could have done anything like that. I too had had one of those "frozen in the pit of your stomach" moments when I saw the image, and I cried when I got home that night. Could the man I loved, the future father of my children really be such a monster? I had desperately tried to look for all the reasons why it couldn't be him, but in the end, I knew he had been responsible for a hell of a lot of really bad shit over the years, and a picture speaks a thousand words doesn't it? And those eyes.......you couldn't fake those eyes......could you?

Back to the here and now, and suddenly, a great tide of hopelessness washed over me, like a massive wave crashing against a forlorn shore, as I made the very brutal realization that, even if we, the good guys, managed to get to Bucky before anyone else, it was highly unlikely that I was gonna be a part of of it.

It's not like they were gonna say "Hey there Maggie Grace, just for a laugh, how'd ya fancy a bit of "let's play prisoner and interrogator".

God, I was such an idiot at times, I could kick myself.   All this time, I'd been banking on that day when I'd see his face, but I knew now, it was just a pipe dream.

I could feel the tears welling up inside, and then felt like even more of a pratt when Steve came over and saw my red cheeks and watery eyes.

"Hey Magpie, what's wrong, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, I guess I'm just sad, realizing that once we've got him, you know, Bucky, that'll be it for me, I'll be back in my lab and back to normal"    Boy, I'm such a bad liar, but somehow, Steve believed me.

"Aw, don't say that, you've been brilliant. I really think Tony will offer you a something better after this."

"Yeah, maybe I can become an Avenger?" Sarcasm had always been my fallback. I'm good at it.

"Magpie, you're so sweet and funny"

Yep, that's me, sweet little Magpie. I'm a real bundle of laughs – I'm just cracking up, I'm so hilarious.

God Steve – can't you see that a piece of me is dying? Knowing that when you bring in Bucky, and he's almost within touching distance and breathing the same air as me, yet not knowing I exist, that it's going to kill me?

Suddenly, I felt so stifled, that I honestly felt I would pass out if I didn't leave the room that very second. I couldn't bear to be indoors, and I left Stark Towers as quickly as possible to gather my thoughts.

I had to get out of there so that Steve wouldn't hear my heart breaking.