bbs- banana banana shot? (booty booty squad?)

oh mr Sattelizer!!!!!!!1!

@icedgreytea this is what i did last night. i had an idea, nice n fluffy and happy, and then it turned into this. The better, less shitpost-y one will be up whenever i finish it :') and i guess faythyloo
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"Honey, I'm home!"

Dracula looks up from his computer at the sound of Satt walking in through the door. He stands up and rushes to the living room with a baseball bat in his hand, ready to beat a bitch down. "Where have you been Sattelizer?! It's been three days!"

Satt chuckles, seductively adjusting his unicorn onesie. "That isn't a big deal, my love-"

"Yes it is! You told me you were going out to buy dog food! What the fuck kind of store is three days away?!" Dracula crosses his arms and glares at Satt, waiting for an answer.

Satt, being (probably) drunk, cackles and swings a bag of groceries dangerously close to Dracula's face. "I did! See? I got the top quality food for our children!" The smug smile on his face only grows as Dracula snatches the bag and begins to dig through it.

"Satt, you drunk fuck, these are fucking onion rings. How old are these? This one's moldy! Did these not come in like, a box?! What the fuck!" Dracula throws the onion rings at Satt and continues looking through. "Are these birth control pills?!"

"Yes, my dear," Satt says, voice low and smooth. "I have a special plan for us tonight, but I don't want any... Repercussions, I suppose."

Dracula nearly chokes. "Repercussions? We're both males! What the fuck do I need these for?!" He doesn't give Satt the time to respond. He yanks out the next item and immediately screams. "Is this fucking blood?! Why is there a water bottle filled with blood? Where did you get this?!"

"I bought it," Satt announces proudly. "I got it for $3.99. Good deal if you ask me. You know what else I got you, huh?" He watches as Dracula opens the water bottle and takes a sip. He laughs as Dracula makes a face and closes the bottle up.

"Did you get me something to wash out this shitty taste?"

"No," Satt says. His voice is deep and husky again, and his eyebrows are now wiggling wildly on his forehead. Dracula refuses to admit that he finds it seductive. Satt quickly rushes up to Dracula and grins, wiggling his eyebrows so fast that Dracula is surprised he doesn't fly away.

Satt leans in close, so close Dracula can feel the eyebrows against his forehead. "I bought you this dick," Satt whispers. "Let us do the love, Dracula. Let me do you like the sexy brow beast I am."

"Oh, Satt," Dracula gasps dramatically. He is now thoroughly seduced.

Satt shakes his head. "That's Mr. Sattelizer to you, you fanged psychopath."

Dracula falls into Satt's arms with a dreamy sigh. "Oh, Mr. Sattelizer!"

"That's right," Satt murmurs. "Let us fuck. I will keep my onesie on."

And that was exactly what they did. They fucked like all the other people do, however that works. Everyone within a 200 mile radius knew who Mr. Sattelizer was the next morning. It was terrifying.

The end. ;)