god im good at titles :') i was actually gonna ask for help with my math homework but .¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ive given up hope And thanks faythyloo for the prompt ily even if ur apparently a piece of bread like I_Am_Mister_Meeseeks
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"Bryce, what the actual fuck are you doing?" Delirious looks over curiously at his friend, watching him unload a truck full of boxes.
Bryce scoffs and rolls his eyes like some prissy teenage girl. "What the actual heck does it look like I'm doing? I'm working, not like you'd ever know what that is."
"Okay," Jonathan says, ignoring the way his ego is currently screaming in pain, "What kind of work?"
"Uh, lifting boxes, obviously. What else would I be doing?"
Delirious grins. "Sucking dick. Sucking my dick. You know.... Because we're dating."
"But I'm also dating Smitty. And Smitty is bringing me cookies. Two thousand of them, actually," Bryce says, sitting down on a box.
Jonathan isn't quite sure what's inside it, but he's pretty sure there's smoke coming from the inside. He steps closer, and cautiously kicks the box with his left (not right) foot.
The box falls over. It was a fake box, just a drawing of a box propped up to look like Bryce was sitting on something.
Bryce is now levitating in the air. Delirious doesn't question it.
"Why are my two boyfriends starting cookie time without me? Like... I know it's none of my business but why the actual fuck do you need two thousand cookies?"
"Because we're starting a cookie company," Smitty announces as he walks in. "Bryce is the cute poster boy, I'm the sexy CEO and you're gonna be our leading engineer, okay?"
Jonathan frowns. "What... What kinda fuckin' cookie company needs an engineer??"
"Ours does, bitch," Smii7y says. He kicks the box over, and a bunch of bright purple cookies fall out onto the ground. Smii7y pulls out a clipboard and shows it to Delirious, pointing at a page. "Do you see this shit? Business is crappy here in Valhalla, so we're going to the moon. Bryce is gay, and people love moon gays."
"Smitty, we're gay too. You sucked my dick last nigh-"
"Hah! Jonny, isn't it kinda gay to suck dick? I mean, the guy you sucked came from another guy's balls! That's pretty fuckin' gay," Smii7y laughs. "Bryce, your thoughts?"
"Nooses are bad," Bryce says, now wearing a cat outfit.
"Good thinking!" Smitty blows Bryce a kiss and winks. He then turns to Jonathan with a smile. "Man, isn't he the cutest?"
"I guess," Delirious sighs. "I mean.."
"... You did eat him last night," Smitty finishes for him.
Jonathan gives him a confused look. "You mean I ate his ass or...?"
"Nah. You ate him. Not ate his ass. No ass eating happened last night. Now come and engineer us some cookies, sweetie."
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writers block is killing me rn
YOU ARE READING
bbs- banana banana shot? (booty booty squad?)
Fanfictionwelcome!!!!! read at your own discretion please. am not responsible for emotions or getting ur phone taken away in class. i am also aware that my titles are absolute shite. thank you to the guy who keeps telling me this.
