Don't Forget About Me (Lovely Sequel)

Chapter Sixteen - Alena's P.O.V

Though I know I need to talk to Tyler, I have no idea exactly what it is I need to say. It's been a long time since I kept a journal, but for lord knows what reason I packed one for this week. So, having a few spare minutes to myself, I saw this as a perfect opportunity to let my thoughts escape my mind and pour out onto the paper.

What to write first? Well, I guess let's go back to freshmen year at Yale.

It was Thanksgiving. Tyler and I were doing dinner with our own families and dessert together with mine. Although it had been quite some time since we had last seen each other, I had nothing but excitement running through me — no nerves at all. I couldn't wait to have him in my arms again, hear his voice again, kiss his lips again...

I don't know if this is really such a good idea, is it? I shouldn't be thinking about that. I shouldn't be. This is wrong.

Everyone is telling me to be honest with myself though. So, I guess that means I'm supposed to look at this without boundaries or filters.

Thanksgiving dinner had been, well, typical. What's there to be new about that? When Tyler came ringing on the doorbell, I practically sprinted to the door. Had it not been for the pie he had brought being in his hands, I would've jumped onto him. My smile was uncontainable. I was practically jumping in my skin. My parents quickly greeted him at the door, my mom taking the pie and thanking him, telling him to make himself at home. But before he could stray off to the living room or help himself to a drink, I embraced him so tightly I don't think either of us could breathe properly. I still remember the way his hands held my face as he kissed me for the first time in months. He effortlessly made me melt into him.

After a few slices of pie and a glass of wine for each of us shared with my parents, they cleaned down the kitchen counters and headed up to bed. Alone, Tyler and I sat on the couch. Staring into each other's eyes, both of us grinning from ear to ear. I couldn't wait any longer, at last I kissed him again and pulled him into me. There was nothing like feeling him close to me again.

"You're kissing differently." He paused, pulled away and whispered. I can still hear the hesitance in his voice as he spoke. I couldn't understand what he meant, and when I asked him to clarify and explain, he couldn't pin what it was that he was thinking.

"Are you sure it's not just because of how long it's been? Maybe you're just overthinking it baby, just try to relax and enjoy this." I tried to calm his nerves, leaning in to kiss him again. But now, he was noticeably kissing differently. Though I tried to ignore it, I really couldn't. There wasn't as much intensity, he was clearly less invested than normal. I suppose I backed off a little after noticing that.

Is that why Tyler now accuses me of being off on that Thanksgiving? Why he thinks that I had already been talking to Derrick at that time? Who knows. Let's fast forward to December.

It was Christmas Eve. Weeks of Tyler ignoring my texts and calls had past, but still I stood at his door, bundled in my winter coat, earmuffs, mittens, and scarf, trying to keep the bitter cold out as snow fell around me. After ringing the doorbell twice, I started hearing voices from inside. At first, it sounded like Madison, who had already sounded so much more grown up since I had last seen her, and then I heard a muffled response from who I assumed was Tyler. Though I couldn't tell what was said, the final words were followed by the sound of a slamming door. I waited for another few minutes, but still, no one came to answer. I just stood shivering, feeling the cold nip at my nose, drying my lips faster than I could continue licking them.

As badly as I didn't want to give up on him... on us... I took this as a sign. I can't wait at the door in the freezing, snowy darkness of the night forever. Not for someone who is never going to let me in. So after that, I started to let go. I know, it sounds terrible, but I had to. How unhealthy it would've been for me to stay hung up and keep on waiting.

So New Year's Eve rolls around about a week later. By now, I'm back in New Haven, back with my new friends and trying to get my life rolling again. One of the guys in my Criminal Psychology class is throwing a giant party for the holiday, so there I am, flaunting one of my cutest outfits, trying to get myself out of this funk of feeling abandoned, and instead get into a grove of feeling myself. Seven minutes to midnight, and my phone starts ringing. I stray off from the drink I had started pouring myself, searching for an empty room that I can take this in. As I lock the door of the bathroom that I claimed on the second floor, I look down at my phone to see the caller ID. Despite everything that I had tried so desperately to think about myself and my situation that night, I couldn't resist swiping my screen and answering.

"Are you home?" His voice echoes through my phone. It's soft, timid, like it knows the treacherous territory it is entering and wants to turn back.

"I'm back in Connecticut, at a party, actually." I'm dry, cutting right to the chase with my answer.

"Oh, okay." He pauses. "I didn't want to do this this way, but I think there's something that we need to talk about. I don't know if we can see each other anymore."

"Why is that?" I ask simply from curiosity. I am still too unamused from the scene that I experienced on Christmas Eve to be bothered or heartbroken by his words.

"It just isn't working out anymore Alena, I'm sorry." I had nothing to say to that. Why argue? I couldn't keep fighting anymore. It had been a month of neglect, abandonment. So yes, it wasn't working out anymore. I knew perfectly well that that was the case. "Happy New Year."

"You too Tyler. Goodbye." and with that, he hung up the phone. Thankfully, I still had two minutes till midnight, and I made it downstairs just in time to grab another drink and watch the ball drop, kissing only my red solo cup to ring in this new year.

 First quick update in.... ever? Sort of uneventful with this being Alena's journal entry/inner thoughts but definitely meant to give some history behind what has been happening. Hope you enjoy! :)