Book

Okay

So I haven't written on Wattpad in a while. I think almost a full year. Basically I wanna say I don't like this book. Actually I kinda hate it. No, I just straight up hate it.

It didn't do what I wanted from it (give me a distraction from lots of things) and it certainly isn't gonna help people. The methods of avoiding self harm I mentioned in this book could work possibly but I'm not really sure why I posted chapters about them if they didn't work for me.

I also don't like most of the language I use in this book. I feel like I glorified self harm by writing this the way I did. I also feel like I glorified mental illness when i wrote this by using the term 'episode' so much, among other reasons.

I already change the title from 'Depression Book' to just 'Book' because of how I feel about this book but I've gotten to the point where I either wanna delete it or change all of my wording in it. Really, I could be doing the latter of those but I don't want to read through this book again.

I wrote this during a time that I heavily, and I mean HEAVILY, depended on self harm to cope with a ton of things. Reading through this book reminds me of then which can send me back into the mindset I had then. I don't care what you think of this, but I'm afraid it will, not might, will trigger me.

I'm still struggling with self harm but it has escalated from that to way more things. So much so that I don't think it's safe for me to edit this book.

I'm only about month clean from self harming at the time of me writing this and I don't want to ruin that.

So why don't I just delete it? I made a promise when I first stated writing on here to someone that I'd never delete a story. I know stupid. Especially since I don't even talk to that person still. But I don't like breaking promises.

So this book is going to say here. I'm never going to update it past this chapter and I'm not going to talk about. If it's mentioned here on Wattpad I will ignore it and not address it. If I'm messaged about I will not answer. If a comment on the other story's I have on here mentions it I will delete it. If you really want to talk to me about this then I hope you know me in real life.

And, while I'm sure everyone's heard this line before, if you are thinking of hurting yourself or anything worse, please get help. Don't rely on a dumb book I wrote in 8th grade.

-Le