Ferris Bueller Shorts

When Ferris Passed Out at 31 Flavors

(Finally, I've caught up with the timeline of the movie! This was my favorite short to write, if I'm honest.)
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"That's a stupid idea! No, that's the WORST idea!" Cameron said, crossing his arms in front of the 31 Flavors entrance.

"What do you mean? It's foolproof. It'll set me up beautifully for skipping school tomorrow," Ferris responded, a stupid smirk on his face as he stretched a hand past Cameron to grab the door handle. "It'll be legendary."

Cameron threw his hands in the air. "Or you'll actually hurt yourself, and then you'll actually have to go to the hospital!"

"Either way - no school," Ferris pointed out, opening the door and stepping inside. Cameron groaned and followed him in.

Teens from the local high schools were excitedly sharing homecoming stories, gossiping about the latest drama and enjoying entirely too much ice cream. Ferris sauntered in with the widest smile he could conjure. "Hey, guys, what's up?"

"Hey Ferris!"
"That's that guy I was talking about... he's so cool!"
"What's up, man?"

Cameron gritted his teeth and shoved his hands into his pockets and instead went to the counter to buy ice cream, ignoring the fact that Ferris had abandoned him at the door for a dumb prank. Sometimes, he wished he had other friends. But no one wanted to be friends with the sick kid.

Sure, there was Sloane. But, if given the choice, she'd pick Ferris over Cameron any day, obviously. They were dating. That's what she was supposed to do. It wasn't like Cameron had a crush on her or anything, either. He just wished he had more friends who weren't friends with him solely because of Ferris.

He turned from the counter, a plain vanilla cone in hand, and set out to find a table. He knew Ferris would be a while, so he sat at a small table towards the back of the restaurant.

He watched everyone crowd around Ferris, pestering him with questions, asking if he'd come to their homecoming games and hang out, inviting him to parties. What Cameron wouldn't do to be able to turn down someone for having too many prior commitments as Ferris was doing. He'd never be the Mr. Charisma that Ferris was. He was just gonna be that guy that hangs out with Ferris whose name nobody could ever remember. It wasn't that difficult. C-A-M-E-R-O-N. It was phonetic, even, and not uncommon in the slightest. It was certainly easier to remember than names like Sloane or Ferris, or at least Cameron thought so.

"Oh, wow, I just got dizzy all of a sudden. I don't know what that's about," Ferris said to the crowd around him, who all laughed like it was a George Carlin comedy special.
Cameron knew that within ten or fifteen minutes, Ferris would pretend to pass out, and then he'd have to take him home. That was the plan.

Suddenly, Cameron didn't feel like taking him home anymore. He felt like letting Ferris lie there on the carpeted floor, surrounded by a million people, pretending to be unconscious while he waited for Cameron. Then, Cameron would laugh the whole way home, knowing he'd get an angry phone call from Ferris later that day.

"What the hell was that?! You can go find yourself a new best friend! I don't think I can trust you!" He'd say, and Cameron would continue to laugh until he hit the End Call button on his receiver.

They'd walk the halls in school and never say a word to each other, except at their lockers, which were directly beside each other. Ferris had always manipulated whoever was in charge of locker placement to give them adjacent lockers. They'd merely speak a simple, yet tension-charged, "Morning," or "How's it going?" to each other.

They'd never sit at the same lunch table ever again, or rather, Cameron wouldn't be able to sit with Ferris ever again. He sat with the cool kids, i.e. jocks, preps and Sloane, and because Ferris had some hidden power to win over anyone, had always established from day one that Cameron could sit wherever he sat. Instead, Cameron would be forced to either sit with the mega-dweebs, who in middle school he'd known very well and was too grossed out by their nose-picking habits and extensive allergy lists to sit with them ever again, or sit on the floor against the cafeteria wall, alone. He'd have gone with the latter any day. Better yet, he'd just drive himself to a Burger King. Ferris would have to bum a ride off of someone else. That gave Cameron some satisfaction.

They'd never have days off together again. No more arcades. No more movie nights at the theater or Ferris's house, no more parties that Cameron would get dragged along to but found himself enjoying by the end and no more late nights talking about college and the life he and Ferris had after the upcoming summer. That was shit that really scared Cameron, and he was too scared to talk about it to his parents.

They'd force him to become a lawyer, or a doctor, or worse, a flight attendant because "it paid well." He'd rather die than do any of that. That's what he liked about Ferris. He'd give you an honest opinion, and wouldn't force you to do anything. He wouldn't judge any career ideas you threw out at him when you wanted to know what he had to say. He'd reply, "Wow, a librarian? That's not like you at all, Cam," or "A chauffeur? You already are one. You don't need an SAT to tell you that." And even though his responses were disguised with jokes, he was letting you know exactly what he thought. He thought Cameron had more options than boring jobs that relied on waiting hand-and-foot on someone else. He was the only person, maybe besides Sloane or Cameron's aunt (the only relative he actually respected), that saw anything in Cameron and believed he had potential to do something with his life.

Cameron began to realize that this entire time, through all of Ferris's shenanigans, he wasn't forcing him to do anything. Cameron could have just walked away. He didn't have a knife at his neck. Ferris threatened him with their friendship sometimes, sure, but he was all talk. He'd never compared Ferris to his parents before. He never realized how much of polar opposites the two were, either.

That's why, when Ferris "fell" on the ground, Cameron jumped out of his seat to take him home, making up an excuse about how Ferris was sick and how he shouldn't have come in the first place as he dragged him out of the 31 Flavors. He did it because he respected Ferris, and even though he was an annoying friend sometimes, he cared about Cameron, and Cameron would always be grateful.