If Only - Jake Paul

..Reset ..

I woke up in my bed I turned to my side to see the other side empty . It hits to know that me and Jake aren't together . But I'm just hoping that this is real and that I'm not in some place of my own psychosis . I miss Jake I really do I just wish he knew . He acts like one minute he loves me and the next as if he and I are best friends . I tossed over to me alarm clock to see it's only 3:00 am I can't really tell what time it is by the light because my curtains and blinds are always shut . Fans are crazy and could easily use a drone or something to look in the window while I'm in here so I just keep it closed unless necessary . We're just normal people but fans don't always realize we need space to . I sat up and moved onto the side of my bed, I looked to my nightstand to see two pill bottles and a water bottle . I looked at the bottles . Pain killers and some other pill I looked at the side affects ( sleepiness ) makes sense why I don't remember anything after taking them . I got up and realized I was still in the hoodie and leggings Tessa brought to the hospital for me when I woke up . I changed into a pair of grey sweatpants, I threw my hair up into a bun and slipped a black tank top over that says Team ten with the number 10 on the back and my name . I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, I flipped on the lights causing my eyes to squint as they adjusted to the light . I saw the stitches on my face and the cast on my arm . I felt the stitches
Flashback *
Gun fire *
Cop : OFFICER DOWN
Running footsteps towards door *
I started to run along with Anthony, Tessa and Chance . I started to feel out of breathe but the second I stopped I heard two gun shots and everything went black .
Anthony : She's hit
Chance : You fix her arm the bullet only grazed her head but we need to find a hospital .
End of flash back *
I snapped out of my flashback .. remembering everything that had happened that day . Then everything from the days after in the hospital . From Jake and them talking to me to hearing crying and machines beeping . From squeezing on my hand to Jake saying : Please just wake up . Then the nurses saying visiting hours are over .
I quickly stopped touching the stitches and I walked back into my room turning off my light . I picked up my phone and walked downstairs . I went over to the kitchen and heard movement behind me . I figured it's probably Tessa she always crashes on the couch if she has a bad dream I never understood that . I opened the fridge and found some pizza . I heated it up, as I waited I checked my social media . I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist . Really Jake stop trying to flirt and go back to bed 😂
Madison : Jake stop 😂 I said lightly laughing
Jake : Sorry your just really cute ...
I completely forgot the Martinez twins where downstairs .
Madison : Shh you'll wake the twins
Jake : Sorry but your the one cooking pizza at 3:00 am
Madison : You wanna fight Paul
Jake : Is love to see you try buttercup
He smirked at me and he pulled me close .
Madison : Hm I looked away jokingly just to mess with him .
Jake : Don't play me like that he said laughing
Madison : You said you wanted to play
Jake playfully rolled his eyes and the microwave beeped . I pulled out my pizza and grabbed some Pepsi . I walked up to my room and Jake turned me the other way to his room holding the pizza box and Pepsi bottle with another cup and a plate . He set them down on his bed and grabbed his tv remote he patted the space next to him . I sat down on his bed next to him
Jake : What do you wanna watch ?
Madison : Did you plan this ?
Jake : Nooo he said smirking
Madison : The fault in our stars
We started to watch the movie and I started to cry by the end .
Jake : Are you ok buttercup ?
Madison : Yah ... it's just so sad, they just wanted to live and be normal
Madison : I mean every girl needs an Agustus waters I said over dramatically
Jake : Okay ...
Madison : Did you just make a Fault in our stars reference ?
Jake : Possibly ok maybe I like it a little ... he said making an ok 👌🏻 for with his hand to show how much he liked the movie .. he's so cute
Madison : You totally did I smiled
Jake : You know I missed that smile ... I haven't seen that sense the first day I bunked heads with you 
He intertwined our fingers
Flash back *
the one the only the Jake Paul and I ran into each other causing us to fall down . We laughed and then tried to get up but once again hit our heads together . He looked up at me and I looked up at him I realized my glasses had come off so I felt around for them
Madison : I can't find my glasses and I kinda can't see can you help ?
Jake : Sure here
He handed me my glasses and I put them on he put out a hand to help me up . I felt like it was just us in the world at that moment .... I didn't know what to say
Madison : Thanks
Jake : No problem...
I felt butterflies in my stomach
End of flash back *
Jake : Mads ? He said looking into my eyes nervously
Madison : Sorry I zoned out
Jake : Did you hear what I said ?
Madison : No sorry what was it ?
Jake : Oh uh .. nothing never mind
Jake picked up the Pepsi and pizza and put them downstairs he walked back up . He turned off his lights and turned away from me . Why is he acting like this .... I got up and left his room I sat in my bed until my alarm beeped . I turned it off and a small tear hit my pillow case . I wiped it away and walked downstairs ... I felt a hand grab my arm
Emilio : I never got to hug you
He pulled me into a tight embrace, he wasn't home last night neither was Ivan  . He let go and I saw Jake walk angrily back upstairs . Great he thinks I have a thing for Emilio doesn't he !
Emilio's face grew red ..: Do you he said
Madison : I said that out loud didn't I
He smiled I mentally face palmed myself tell me he doesn't like me .