You Make Me Space Bound (Eminem fanfic)

we'll be okay...

London POV

"I didn't use a condom London."

"What do you mean you didn't use a condom?"

"I didn't use a fucking condom! We had sex at least seven times last night London! Fuck we can't have another kid! What if I got you pregnant?! Oh my God what if you're pregnant..."

He falls to his knees and he's sobbing so hard I think he might throw up.

"Marshall, Marshall sweetie I'm on birth control it'll be okay," I lean down beside him and swipe my thumbs over his cheeks.

"But what if you are?"

"What if I am?"

"London, I don't know if Im ready to be a father again..."

Al-fuckin-righty then.

I stand up and walk out of the room. I pad across the white floor and slide the glass doors open, leading onto the beach. I walk down a little ways and sit on the warm sand.

What if I am pregnant? I mean, I've always thought having kids was a blessing, I just never had someone that I wanted kids with until now. Until Marshall. Why does he seem so freaked out? I mean would it be so bad? To have a little girl running around with dark hair and blue eyes? Or a little boy we couldn't keep up with? The more I think about it, the more I want it. I want to paint and design the babies room, I want to watch my husband talk to my round stomach. I never wanted it before, but I do now.

But he doesn't. The one person who I want to want it, just doesn't. Why though? Does he not want any more because our family is kinda big already? Or because of me? Have I done any thing to make him think I wouldn't be a good mom? Would I be?

The more I sit in the sand watching the sun go down, the more I realize I want to be pregnant with Marshall's kid. Which only makes me cry harder.

I don't know how long I've been out here but I jump when Marshall says my name.

"What?"

"Can we talk angel?"

"We're talking aren't we?"

"I mean about the baby, or potential baby."

The back of my eyes pinch as I look back to the ocean. "So talk."

"I didn't mean to flip out on you. It's just, I haven't had a baby in so long, and I got scared."

"Of having a baby or my baby."

It comes out as more of a demand than a question, and I can hear the edge in my voice.

"London, I want this. I want you to be pregnant, I want us to have a baby. I'm sorry if I acted like I didn't, I was just scared."

"What if I'm not pregnant? "

I can hear my voice crack and almost wince at the vulnerability in it.

"Then that will be okay. Baby or not I will be happy just because I have you. Now, I set up an appointment for the day we get back. That's two weeks, and they'll be able to see if you're pregnant or not."

I nod and feel the tension fading and my body relaxing.

"And since its our honeymoon, I don't want to get excited or freaked out over a possibility. So how about we put it in the back of our mind and enjoy our time together?"

"Yeah. That sounds good."

"Great. Now go get your swim suit on and we'll take that swim."

I get up, dusting myself off and walk into our room. He's okay with it. He actually wants it, I smile to myself, and now we can go back to normal and not think about it.