You Make Me Space Bound (Eminem fanfic)

odd feelings

hey guys. you know the drill, comment vote follow blah blah blah. much love angels.

xoxo

-me

London pov

Its an odd feeling, feeling like this. Its like when you have the thing you want the most, given to you, only to be snatched away, while the whole world laughs at you. And all you can do is stand there and fight the tears.

The ride home is quiet. I cant even talk, i feel like the ability to function has been completely ripped away from me. The one thing a woman is supposed to be able to do, i cant. I cant give my husband a child.

I stare out the window and see rain start to fall. It feels as if the sky is mourning with me.

Marshall squeezes my hand to let me know hes there, i dont even have the strength to squeeze back.

Marshall pov

I dont know what to do. London has been walking around silent for the past week. She still functions, she still cleans and cooks dinner and plays with the kids, she just doesnt talk. I dont know how to help her. I just want my angel back.

I pick up my phone and dial the number i know i shouldve called a long time ago.

"hello?"

"kim? Listen i need your help with something."

"is everything okay? Whats going on?"

"london miscarried and then the doctor told us that she would never be able to carry a child to term. She hasnt talked in a week and im at a loss as to what to do. Can you help me?"

"of course. Ill be over in a few minutes."

Kim pov

I get in my car and drive to marshalls house. I dont know what to say though, marshall and i had miscarried but i had never thought much of it. I mean we were teenagers, and in a sick Way kind of relieved that we werent going to have a baby.

I dont really know what im going to say to london. Shes a sensative person and i know how much this is hurting her. So im going to help her any way i can.

I walk into the house and Marshall leads me into the room she's in.

"London?"

She looks up at me and says, "Marshall send you to fix me." it wasn't even a question, just a statement as if she already knew the answer.

"no. Im not here to fix you, im here to help you. Marshall called me, London, your husband is scared shitless."

"i know. But i cant help it."

"help what?"

"it hurts to be around marshall because im afraid he resents me for not being able to have his kids. And im afraid to sleep with him..."

"london he loves you so much and could never resent you. And why are you afraid of sleeping with him? You know he wouldnt dream of hurting you."

"no im not afraid of him. Im afraid of having sex with him."

"why?"

"because if we use a condom all ill be able to think about is how we dont need it and then id end up crying. And if we didnt use one id be embarassed that we dont need one."

"dont think about it like that. Think about it as your husband is making love to you and would do what ever it took to make you happy."

"thanks. And i know this is probably awkward for you and that makes me apprieciate it more."

"why would it be awkward?"

"youre trying to convince your ex husbands new wife to have sex with him again." she laughs quietly and covers her Mouth with her hand.

"well when you put it like that," i shake my head and laugh.

"but i really do apprieciate you coming here, kim. It means a lot."

"any time. But can i ask a question?"

"why cant i have kids."

"yeah...i mean if you dont want to answer you dont have to..."

"i have severe damage to my uterus that prevents me from carrying a kid."

"damage?"

"yeah. When i first met Ronnie he was still living with his father, who was very abusive. And when i had the state take him away his father came after me."

"came after you?"

"yeah, he cut me up pretty badly. I had never thought anything of it, or thought that he had done enough damage to prevent kids."

"oh my god. Thats... Im so sorry london. And im sorry i asked."

"no sweetie youre fine. It feels good to explain it to someone besides marshall."

"do the kids know?"

"they know some. Marshall had to tell them i wasnt talking because i had a miscarriage. But they dont know the reason. Damn, ive been a horrible wife and parent this past week," she sighs and puts her head in her hands.

"you had every right to be. Dont beat yourself up about it."

"how do i make it up to them?"

"i dont think you need to make it up to them. I think everything will go back to normal if you just let it. But if you really want to make it up to them, why dont you have the kids help you make a whole bunch pf sweets and just spend time with them. And then tonight you can send them to my house and you and marshall had have alone time."

"yeah that sounds good. Thanks kim," she smiles at me.

"anytime." i hug her and stand to leave before turning around and adding, "if you want to make it up to marshall, dance around in lingerie. He really likes your body."

"kim!!" i hear her yell as i walk out of the door laughing.

Ronnie pov

"yeah, he cut me up pretty badly. I had never thought any thing of it, or thought he had done enough damage to prevent having kids."

Fuck this shit.