Chapter 20: There Is No Fixing It This Time

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*Ellie's POV*

I screwed up. I realize that, but no one is perfect. I tried, but in the light of things, I was only hurting the ones I loved. This was my fault; all of this. My biggest regret was Noah. I wasn't there for her, and now she seems to be following in my footsteps. It honestly scares the living daylights out of me. I pushed her off onto Connor just like my parents had me to Jasper. Sure Connor wasn't Jasper even in the least bit.
But one thing was clear last night when I arrived home. Something had happened between the twins, and they were no longer speaking.
Stepping off the last step to the basement, I looked around the basement.
The memories of horror and pain flooded into the back of my mind. The scenes playing out in vivid colour.
But they weren't real now, they were just skeletons in the closet. What was real was the boy sitting on his bed.
"Hey, Con." I said softly, taking a seat on the edge of his bed.
"Hi, Mom." He tried to smile, but still sounded sad.
"Penny for your thought?" I took his hand-which lie on the comforter-in mine.
"I messed up with Noah." Connor sighed, looking over at the bed next to his. "I said some things I shouldn't have, and I don't think she'll ever forgive me for it." He looked on the verge of crying.
"Listen, Connor," I laughed lightly. "This is Noah we're talking about. You could call her the worst names in the book and hurt her deeply. But in the end she's going to come back to you. Do you know why?" I asked.
"Why?" He was still looking toward her bed.
"Because you two have never managed to stay mad at each other." I stood and went over to Noah's bed, picking something up in the process.
"When you were born, they had to keep you in the same basinatte, for otherwise you would scream and cry. The nurses said they had never seen anything like it." I paused, running a hand over the teddy bear. "You probably don't remember but until you two were a little over six-years-old, you slept in the same bed. Couldn't have it any other way. Neither of you would go five feet without the other. It was like I had given birth to nonconnected Siamese twins." I sat back down. "The doctor's calles you strange; wanted us to separate you both for a few hours. But your father said you were just special." I handed the bear to Connor. "And he was right. You and Noah have something no one else does, a connection that's like none other." I brushed some of his hair out of his eyes.
Connor was staring at the teddy bear like it was a death sentence and the Nobel prize in one. "Sergeant Remington," He proclaimed. "I haven't seen him in awhile."
"Do you remember when Noah got that bear?" I questioned, really hoping my point was coming across.
"Yeah," He gave a little nod. "Dad and I had gone shopping in the hospital gift shop when you had Ellis. I found a teddy bear wearing a uniform and laughed until I almost peed myself." Con paused, pulling the bear to his chest. "We got the bear for Noah who was on the next hospital floor with a broke ankle. That night you had our baby sister while I stayed with my twin." He looked up suddenly. "After that every time she felt scared or unsafe and I wasn't there to help her. She'd bring out Sergeant Remington to make it better."
"Then do you get what I'm trying to say?" I asked, taking his hand again. "The bear was lying on top the blankets."
"Yeah I get it. Thanks Mom." Connor hugged me.
"Anytime, sweety." I kissed his forehead. "Now go find Noah already."
Connor got up, setting Serg. back on the bed. "Love you, Mama." He raced up the stairs to find his brunette twin.
"I love you too, Con." I mumbled, a tear slipping down my cheek.
I loved my kids more than anything. I guess that's why I'm doing what I'm about to do.

*Connor's POV*

"Noah!" I called, sliding into the kitchen and almost falling.
Noah looked away from Levi. "What is it, Connor?" She asked coldly.
"I-I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I should have trusted you." I said. "I just... I don't want anything to happen to you is all. And with all this new knowledge, I was just scared." I took a step forward, only to be knocked back by someone colliding into me.
I quickly wrapped my arms around Noah, hugging her tightly to me. "I'm so sorry." I whispered.
She nodded. "I am too. I just need time is all. But I promise I will tell you one day." Now this, this was my Noah.
"Why don't you come with us today?" She asked as we broke apart.
"Where ya going?" I answered with a question.
"Somewhere fun." Levi answered, coming to stand with us. "Just come. We'll explain on the way."
So without another question, I folllowed them out of the house.
Lord help us all if this is one of her ideas again.

*Ellie's POV*

I watched from upstairs as the children disappeared into the woods.
Turning back to the task at hand, I unlocked my phone and went to messages, typing a simple sentence: I'll be there.
"How do you manage to still look seventeen?"
I glanced over my shoulder at Rafe-who stood by the dresser. He was digging through drawers.
"I don't know." I shrugged. "You haven't really changed all that much." I handed him what he was looking for. A pistol.
"Thanks." He shot me a smile.
"You know this is almost like old times." I laughed. "The only difference is-"
Rafe cut me off. "We have things to lose." He finished for me.
I nodded. "I don't know who I am anymore. I'm obviously not the big sister or mother taking care of everyone." I answered honestly.
"Maybe that's good." Rafe smiled, knowing how I like quotes.
"How?" I looked up at him.
"Because there's more to you than that." Rafe reached out and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.
"Yeah well. I've certainly made a bloody mess of everything." I sighed.
"And we're about to fix that right now." Rafe said with a reassuring smile. "Now come on, stop moping and let's do this before the kids come back." He laughed.

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