Grandma and Google

Chapter 27 (Google POV)

I look over at Sara, yet again amazed by her. She's so strong and courageous. She risked her life to save someone she just met without even hesitating.

But I couldn't save her.

The thought is quiet, almost unnoticable. But it's filled with fears and memories that haven't plagued me since I came to know Sara. It swells inside of me until it almost takes me over.

She almost died, and there was nothing I could do to save her.

She was out for four hours. Those were the four most terrifying hours of my life. I almost lost her. I would never be able to live with myself if that happened.

Deep down, I know it's my fault she was pulled into this whole thing. If I had been braver and kept Vanessa safe, none of this would be happening.

The doctors said something about Sara and William. Since their gift allows them to understand people's feelings better, it also makes it easier for them to lose themselves in their ability. They use up so much of their power that it kills them. Sara is in danger of doing that.

And she wouldn't even know if I had saved Vanessa.

I can't lose Sara, but it's very possible. And now, I've come to a resolution.

The only way to save myself from the pain of losing Sara is to let her go.

...

It's well into the night. Everyone has gone to bed except Sara and I. I take one long look at her, knowing what I have to do.

It's for the best.

Sara turns to me. "Let's go outside," she says.

"Okay," I say flatly and follow her out to her front yard. We are standing on her lawn.

"I love to come out here at night," Sara says. "The sky is so clear and everything is so tranquil."

"It's like time's standing still," I agree.

"Google, all of this is just...amazing. I'm so glad I met you and got to be a part of it." She wraps her arms around me and whispers "thank you."

I know if I don't let her go now I never will. I step out of the hug. "Sara, do you know how long you were out for?"

"How long?" She asks.

"Three hours. And you almost died."

"I know I almost died, but I'm okay now. And William is, too." She takes a long pause. "I think I fully understand what you went through now. I couldn't stand the idea of William dying because of a decision I made. I would never have forgiven myself."

"That's how I felt as I almost lost you," I say. "The color left your face. Your breath became forced. And I watched because there was nothing I could do about it. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't opened your eyes. I don't ever want to experience that kind of fear again."

"Google, things are going to get scary. But if we don't face anything, things will never get better."

"I know," I pause. "Sara, the doctors told us that you and William are likely to go out of your way to use your ability. You'll use so much power that it kills you. And then I'll lose you."

"No, you won't. That's not going to happen."

"It almost did today."

"Google, where are you going with this?"

"Sara," my eyes begin to fill with tears that I try to hold back. I am letting her go. I'm really letting go of the person who gave me hope for the first time. "I'm letting you go before I lose you."

"What?" She asks. The light in her eyes drains as they begin to glisten because of tears. The thought returns to me.

It's for the best.

"I can't be with you, because I know I'll lose you."

"Google, you don't know."

"I do! Every time I almost lose someone, I do. Why should it be any different with you?"

She cries harder than I have ever seen her cry. I turn around and walk towards the house, but I take one last look at her before I go inside.

One last look as I watch her run away.