GHØST (Niall version)

Diet Soda Society

The worst part about being fixated on a stranger is the fear. The fear that you'll never be able to forget them but also the fear that you'll never see them again. Months have passed and the mini affair I had with the stranger in the airport and this time, it won't go away. It has never lasted this long, I've never thought about a boy so much for so long. He hasn't dwindled from my memory a bit, I still remember his laugh and his smile and his spicy cologne. I don't know if I want to rid him from my memory or never rest until I can see him again.
My friends have been teasing me about the whole thing ever since they found out about my late night run in. They bring him up at random times and I don't mind it, it's nice to imagine running into him at the gas station we stop at to grab a drink and some snacks while Wren fills the tank. I imagine myself walking towards the register with my straw in my mouth while I laugh at something Ivy says and then I glance in front of me and just as he turns around to walk out of the store. In my fantasy, I drop my drink and 42 ounces of sticky orange Fanta spills onto the ground, I ignore the mess I've made and we start walking towards each other with smiles on our faces. I jump into his arms and then and we would live happily ever after in a cute house with everything smelling like rain and roses.
Every time we stop for gas or food, my heart beats just a little bit faster. This trip might just kill me.
When we arrive at the hotel, I park the car and head inside with my bags. The hotel is set to be the set of my new music video my friend was nice enough to offer to film for us. My manager is suppose to meet us here when we start filming tomorrow, but Trent is suppose to be here now. When we were driving through San Francisco, he called and told us he had a fantastic vision for the video and before we could even get a word out to ask about it, he had hung up. We get the keys for room 2 which is at the front right off the road. After carrying our things to the room, we collapse onto the bed. When the three of us are settled in just wearing tank tops and shorts and pairing each other's toenails out of sheer boredom and trying to get into the throwback to the 50's find of mood, Trent calls. He yells about how he's in the parking lot, cannot wait to share his vision with us, and hopes we brought a lot of pink. When we make it out to the parking lot, he's unloading his equipment with the help of 3 guys.
"Trent," I yell at him. He glances up at me and grins. He stops what he's doing and walks to us with his arms open wide. After we all hug him, he turns to his friends and smiles. He introduces them as Quinn, Ryan, and Caleb. They're going to be in the video. We hang out in the room, all piled onto the bed. Ivy braids my hair while the 7 of us share the 49 piece chicken wings we ordered from Domino's.
"What if he just walked right in but it turns out he's a secret agent and he has a gun and it's like that weird movie you somehow always get dragged into watching and he's like, 'Seventeen' and you're like 'Niall', and then he comes over and you guys start making out and then he proposes and takes you to Fiji after you guys get eloped in Vegas," she explains finishing off the braid.
"Getting eloped is my secret kink," I respond making her laugh and say that I have no secrets anymore, she knows everything about me. I can't disagree.
"Who's Niall?" Trent asks.
"She doesn't even know him." I hear Ivy snort behind me and I roll my eyes.
"I met him when I was waiting for my flight from London a few months ago, so no, I don't know him very well. He was nice and it was one of those potential love kind of things. Like, i don't really love him because that would be really weird but I know that could. I easily be love with him, there's no doubt in my mind about that. It's like the quiet rumbling before a big storm, it's coming but just not quite ready to burst through the clouds just yet. And I like him a lot, he's nice and cute and funny. It's where I think about him a lot, I wonder if he even remembers the conversation he had with the girl with blue- pink, now- hair and a sour attitude, but I know I don't love him."
The next morning, we start filming at 9. Trent says that us three must be wearing pink and preferably denim so we get dressed accordingly. We go next door to the diner and there Trent presents us pink bomber jackets.
"I had them customized," he explains holding out my jacket. In white cursive, it says Diet Soda Society. I smile and hug him, mumbling thank you a million times over. When Ivy, Wren and I first became friends, we decided to call ourselves The Diet Soda Society. I don't even remember the start of it, but it has stuck with us through the years and through all of our success.
Trent has us sit at the counter with our jackets hanging on the back of the seats. I sit between Wren and Ivy and we sip on Diet Coke in glass bottles through pink bendy straws. The guys have to come up to the counter a try to flirt with us for Trent's vision to be completed and of course, we have to obviously turn them down.
Around 2, Trent decides he needs to take a break from us and I make Caleb take squad pics of The Diet Soda Society. We take a few photos then order a milkshake to share. While we wait, I take out my phone. I set it to the front camera and the three of us begin to film a "behind the scenes" sort of thing. Wren holds the phone in front of the three of us and I look at our reflection, watching myself eat. In the background, a group of guys walks in and my heart stops. I drop my spoon and turn my seat around. I look at him for a second before standing up. The world seems to go in slow motion and my feet move faster than my mind. I am running towards him and jump in his arms before I can even process it.
"Oh no." I hear one of them say.
Either he doesn't know who I am or doesn't care about me as much I to him because Niall just laughs and holds me up, hugging me. He still smells spicy. I let myself fall back to the ground and take a step back so I can look at him. He looks at me and I can see it all click for him. He sees who I am and his eyes light up.
"Oh my god," he says hugging me again. "Oh my god. My beautiful fruit loop, I've been missing you. It's always a drag when you're heart is in the city of love but it's just pouring buckets in Paris."
"I've missed you too," I mumble into his shoulder. I hold onto him as tight as I can, cursing myself for being prone to crying. My eyes burn and I cover the shoulder of his white button up in mascara. He takes a step back to make some space between us and he cups my face with both of his hands as he smiles at me.
"Hold back the tears okay. Just let me look in your eyes." He smiles down at me and I wipe my cheeks. "Don't cry, baby love."
"Did you really just call me baby love?" I ask.
"I also called you my beautiful fruit loop and you didn't mention shit, but hey! You dyed your hair! How have you been?"
"Yeah, it's pink like me now." He smiles. "I'm good though. Just living my life, we are actually here filming my video."
"You look good in pink." He plays with my hair. I have a feeling he's referencing the pink in my cheeks as well as my hair. "What's the video for?"
"My new album. It's a new song," I say shaking my head. He laughs again and hugs me.
"Fun fact; I, too, make music."
"Are you guys a Hannah Montana cover band?"
"Yeah, we're getting pretty big actually. People are requesting an album."
"We will be in the room," Wren informs me with a wink. I flip her off and look back at Niall.
"You friends?" he asks. I nod and he motions for me to sit down in the booth behind me.
On the second day, we finish the video. We decide to go to Ivy's apartment in LA, meaning another road trip. Apparently, Niall and his friends were driving from San Francisco to the Grand Canyon to be tourists and decided to stop for some food in Sun Valley, where they ran into us. We let them stay in our room for the night. All the guys slept on the floor.
Niall sits with his friends in a booth while Trent shows me the videos he got.
"I have a plan for this, don't worry." I tell him I'm not worried, I trust him. He smiles and heads back to the room to start uploading it to his laptop before we leave. I don't see Ivy or Wren, so I walk to the corner booth where Niall is. I sit beside him, his arm resting on the vinyl behind me.
"Darling," he greets me, "hows the video going?"
"We just finished. Trent just has to edit it and then it's done." I see his friends staring at me and I think he caught onto the look on my face because he is quick to introduce us.
"Oh, these are my squad bros, Louis, Liam, Zayn, and Harry- Harry is actually a monkey. Bros, this is my tootsie roll, Seventeen." We all say hi and the bell over the front door catches my attention. I glance over my shoulder and see Ivy and Wren walk in. They have changed out of their outfits they wore for filming and are walking over to us. Wren tells me we can leave whenever, then the two of them leave again. I turn back to the guys and notice Niall staring at me.
"What?"
"You're leaving?" He glances down at his drink and I frown.
"I have to eventually. We can't stay here forever." I slouch in my seat and look at him. "You guys were going to Arizona, right?"
"Yeah."
"Come with us then," I say, "stay with us and hang out."
He looks at his friends, they shrug and nod. Niall looks at me and smiles. "I guess so."
I change my clothes before packing up all my stuff from the room. Niall takes my bag and puts it in Wren's car while I return the key since Trent and the other guys have already left. Walking back to the parking lot, I see Niall leaning up against the side of a white van with writing covering the majority of it. He is talking to Ivy. When I get to them, they stop talking and we get into our separate cars. I sit in the passenger seat and Ivy takes over the music from the back seat.
15 minutes out of the city, Ivy gets a call. The roof went out in her building and all residents cannot come back until it is fixed, meaning we have to find another place to stay. We settle on a motel by the Staples Center and book 2 rooms. Since none of us have any of the guys' numbers and they're following us, we just drive to the motel and when we park and get out, Niall makes a comment about how he didn't know I bought a motel just to make to the same color as my hair which is followed by me staring at him and him grinning. It was such a stupid comment that didn't even make that much sense but I had to bite my cheek so I didn't laugh. Ivy bitterly explains to him that her apartment is being an ass and she isn't even completely convinced the roof is even damaged, they just want to get money out of her because it's stupid that all the residents have to pay to have the roof fixed when she has only been living there for what? 9 months? I leave Niall nodding along to her rant and walk into the office to get our keys. I sign for the rooms and pay for our 3 day long stay. The keys are a shiny silver with hot pink tags attached to them with the numbers 210 and 211. The motel is very well kept, the bed is neatly made and there is not a speck of dust or dirt anywhere in the room. Each room has 2 beds and Harry and Niall talk among themselves about how they're going to try to convince us to make one of the guys sleep in our room so it's even but I roll my eyes and tell him no, us girls need our own space. Besides I'm paying. We stay in our separate rooms until 5, when Louis knocks on our door and asks if we want to walk with them to the Outback across the street and have dinner. We agree and tell him we will be ready in a half an hour.
As promised, a 30 minutes later, we are walking across the parking lot. Somehow, Niall and I get separated from our friends. We somewhere walk faster than everyone else, even in our leisurely stroll. He hangs his arm around my shoulders and tells me about seeing Justin Bieber at the Staples Center because he didn't come to Phoenix where he was visiting family.
"I was pretty broken up about the disrespect towards my aunt's homeland," he explains, "but I got over it and decided it was time to take a stand and just drive 6 hours to see him."
"Were you holding out hope that he would pull you on stage and sing One Less Lonely Girl to you?"
"I am not going to admit anything at this point in time."
All of their tables were taken so the 8 of us cram into, luckily, a fairly large booth. I am between Niall and Ivy while Harry sits beside Niall and Wren, Zayn, Liam and Louis sit across from us.
Niall of course, has to comment on the pink lemonade I order.
"What's your obsession with pink?"
"It's a nice color so shut the hell up and drink your diet coke you pretentious asshole." He kind of giggles and sips his drink.
He doesn't make any more pink comments for the rest of the night. After dinner, we walk back to the motel, the sky is dark even though it's only about 7. Niall once again walks with his arm around my shoulders and pulls me close to him. Clouds are forming above us and I can feel that it's going to rain.
"Goodnight, my darling." He kisses my temple and hugs me tight when we get to our doors. We are the first ones to get to the doors and we have our separate keys so we stand next to each other unlocking our doors.
"Loser." I stick my tongue out at him when I open my door first and walk inside.
At 2am, Niall texts me asking if I'm still up. When I say yes, a knock comes to my door. He stands in the hallway in flannel pajama pants and a grey band t shirt. His hair is messed up and he looks tired but committed to something.
"I need you to come to Walmart with me."
"Niall, I'm not wearing a shirt." I motion to the black Calvin Klein bra I am wearing.
"You don't need one for Walmart, just grab some shoes." I give in, but not without grabbing a jacket, I have been listening to the rain pour for hours, I'm not about to go out into that defenseless. I slip on my shoes while we walk down the hallway and Niall teases me for not wearing socks which results in me throwing my shoe at his back. He giggles and runs down the stairs to the parking lot. I follow him through the rain and to his van. I get in the passenger seat and he winks at me when turning on the car. We drive around the city for a while. I enjoy cities, there's so much going on, I find it fascinating. Every person in that city experiences it a different way. Niall pulls into the Walmart parking lot, turning off the car. I almost get out, but I notice him just staring out the windshield not moving.
"What?"
"Nothing." He opens his door and I follow his lead. The rain has calmed to a drizzle, which I'm thankful for. He rests his arm around my shoulder as we walk inside.
"Why are we here?" I ask.
"Hot pockets. I had a craving." I find it ridiculous he brought me here for his food craving, but then again, I don't mind it. The Walmart here is different from what both of us are used to, so we wander around the store until we find the needed freezer aisle.
"The real question is if you want ham and cheese or steak and cheddar," I say holding up both boxes to him. He doesn't even think before taking the ham and cheese from me and walking away. I put the steak and cheddar back and run after him. He grabs a 20 ounce diet coke when we are waiting in the checkout line.
"So do you not plan on sleeping tonight?" I lean on the conveyor belt as he sets it down. He shrugs.
"You'll be in your room with Ivy and Wren so there's really no point, is there?"
"I guess not."
When we get back to his car, he sets the groceries between us and stares out the windshield, his hands perfectly placed at 10 and 2 without even putting the keys in the ignition.
"I don't want to go back, I kinda hoped this trip would last longer."
"Why would you want to be at Walmart at 3am for an extended period of time?"
"To be with you." He starts the car and pulls out of the parking lot.
I don't know how long we were driving when we end up at a stop light and he looks at me.
"Hungry?"
"We just bought hot pockets."
"This is a yes or no question, my darling."
"Sure, yes." He makes a U-turn too fast and then he's parking in front of a Denny's. He gets out and starts walking toward the doors, leaving me behind. I quickly unbuckle and jump out of the car, running to him. The hostess seats us at a small booth and I sit across from him, she smiles and says how cute it is that we came to Denny's at 3am, is it a special occasion?
"Yeah," Niall says with a smile and looks at me.
"No it's not." His loving expression fades and he grabs my hand across the table.
"It will be, baby." He winks and the hostess, now filled with joy from our immense love, smiles and walks away. "I'm going to propose when she comes back with our drinks."
"What the fuck, Niall?"
"Say my name like that again and I just might have to propose for real."
"Shut up."
She brings back our drinks and he dramatically stands up and kneels beside me.
"Seventeen Willy Wonka, I know we are both young and reckless and stupid but I don't think what I'm about to ask you is stupid," he starts. I don't think the waitress even paid attention to the name he gave me, rather the intense fake proposal he is about to present to me. "Marrying young doesn't mean the end of my life and my freedom. It means I want to travel and I want to see this world for what it is and I want to do it with you by my side. It means I still like drinking in bars, but stumbling home with you at 2am and eating cereal on the kitchen floor. It means waking up and falling asleep next to you and knowing you love me as much as I love you. I'm sorry I don't have a ring, but will you please allow me the pleasure, baby? Will you marry me?" This isn't a real proposal, I know that, but my heart is racing and my ears are buzzing. The only thing that really matters to me right now is Niall holding my hands and kneeling in front of me.
"Yes, god yes." He smiles and leans up, kissing me. It's quick and I don't even process it has happened. Instead, I realize the cloud of employees surrounding us. We get our food free.
He tells me he's going to take me somewhere special to celebrate our engagement and I laugh and play along, letting him carry me to the car. He kisses my nose and shuts the passenger side door before running around the car and getting in to drive. plus his phone into the AUX cord and plays That's What Girls Do and sings along with the most passion I have seen in a long time. He keeps up with the throwback pop songs the whole drive to our mystery destination, trying to keep in time with Wannabe . When we arrive, he carries me out to the water, setting me in the sand with a kiss on my nose. My stomach feels fuzzy and I'm not sure if it's from the lack of sleep of the fact that he keeps kissing me.
The night is fading away and the city is coming alive, but the only thing that doesn't seem to be ending is the burn in my chest and the energy I can feel radiating off of him. It's a warm buzz burning into my cheek and I am too afraid to look at him. I dig my heels into the sand and lie down, he follows my lead. The world is calm for a moment. My heart isn't beating out of my chest and the waves crashing on the shore evens out my breathing. My head rests on the smooth sand and all I feel is serenity. Complete and utter peace. Although this moment feels infinite, I know our friends would wake up soon and we would have to go back into the real world. Eventually, we will have to leave again and this is all going to end but I take a breath and stay true to this moment.
I run my fingers through the sand, I close my eyes and paint a mental picture of the sky then begin to count the clouds imagined for myself. I've gotten to 6 when he reaches over and grabs my hand. I open my eyes, feeling my blood rush through my veins as I strain out a question to distract me.
"Does the sky look more purple grey or more grey purple?" I ask. Niall turns his head, looking at me before cracking another smile. "What?"
"You're asking me about the sky?"
"Of course, I am." I sit up, letting go of his hand. He looks at me then at the horizon.
"I think it's kind of like a cotton candy machine, first they made the blue so that's the hint of grey you're seeing, then pink and most recently; purple. It's all swirled up and it's created something fascinating."
"Shut up."
"You asked."
"I didn't expect you to come out and be so damn emo."
"I have another one," he says, following my lead in sitting up. "I'm a total loser science geek, and astronomy is my favorite subject. In that class, I learned that it takes 8 minutes for the light from the sun to reach the earth. If the sun burned out, we wouldn't know for 8 minutes. For 8 minutes, the world would still be bright and warm and we would still be alive and burning with whatever fuels us to get out of bed, whether that be an extreme passion for chicken fingers or to make a change in this world or something, anything." I lay back down in the sand, resting my head on his lap and staring at the sky above us. Niall looks down at me with a crooked smile that makes my stomach contort.
"What's your reason?" I ask. He starts playing with my hair, twirling it around his fingers.
"I'm trying to figure that out." I watch the sky fade from its pastel pinks and lilacs and blues to a orange haze.
"What's your favorite color?" He asks me. I stare at him and he smiles.
"Guess," I say, sarcastically. He runs his hand through my hair, dramatically looking out at the water pretending to be thinking.
"Green?"
"Nope."
"Yellow?"
"It's fucking pink, loser." He smiles and I look up at him.
"What's my favorite color?"
I stare at him, trying to think of what his favorite color could be.
"Blue!" I smile, knowing I probably got it right, he seems like a blue kind of guy. I heard birds squawking and they fly away from where they were settled in hiding around us. I laugh, tucking my knees to my chest and looking up at him. I'm so fucking tired but life is so good right now. He smiles and touches my cheek.
"Yeah, you got it."
I still smile, closing my eyes and just trying to slowly breathe for a few minutes. I don't breathe enough around him. I always end up holding my breath and choking on words I want to say but never can.
Niall must think I'm asleep because he keeps aimlessly running his hands through my hair and stares out at the horizon mumbling something. A minute in, I can understand what he's saying. Or singing.
Seventeen, ma belle
Sont des mots qui vont tres bien ensemble
Tres bien ensemble
And I will say the only words I know that you'll understand
My Seventeen
His voice is raspy from the small amount of effort he's putting into the song and it's more to himself than anything else. Saying my name ruins the tune because it doesn't really fit but I still look at him and smile.
"Youre singing to me."
"Whaat? Noo." He holds the vowels too long so he sounds completely suspicious. "You were suppose to be asleep."
"You're just a nerd who sings in French."
"French is the language of love, my friend. The only language worthy of speaking the words I have left unspoken in my native tongue."
He pulls a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, flipping the top open.
"You're talking at the time, I doubt there's anything you've ever left unsaid."
"I am a very smooth talker, yes. But," he says, placing a cigarette in his mouth, "I don't say a lot of things to you."
"Like what?" I almost laugh when I sit up.
"I think you're lovely. Better than lovely, actually. Completely captivating."
"Well you didn't hold that back." I almost laugh. He takes the cigarette from his mouth and looks at me. I wonder what he's thinking and I'm so distracted by my own thoughts I don't notice him leaning into me until he's already kissing me. I am quick to react but he pulls away before it could become real.
"Why did you keep kissing me?" I ask him. He ignores me, placing the cigarette back between his lips and lighting it. "Niall."
"Everything is so fucking temporary, baby." He exhales, the smoke seeping from between his teeth. He rests his arms on his knees, digging his toes into the sand. A few silent minutes pass, both of us staring at the water and then he speaks again. "Back at breakfast," he twirls the cigarette between his fingers, "I should have kissed you longer."
I suck in a breath and he looks at me, flicking the ashes of cigarette into the sand. He flashes his lopsided smile and returns his gaze to the sand in front of him.
"I watch you look at my lips more than you look at my eyes, don't think I don't notice."
He finishes his cigarette and buries it in the sand before mumbling about how we should probably head back, they might wake up and look for us. I agree and follow him back to the parking lot.
"What's your reason?" He asks, turning on over the engine.
"What?"
"Your reason to get out of bed."
"Oh," I say, "I don't know, I want someone to be proud of me I guess. To look up to me."
"I'm proud of you."
Sitting in the passenger seat of the van, the air seems thicker. It gets caught in my throat and maybe it's the hot air blowing through the vents or the anxiety I've been breathing in for too long. He keeps his left hand on the the steering wheel, but his right switches between running through his hair and rubbing his knee. I feel guilty, I haven't quite figured out what about though. I feel like I've done something horrible, robbed the liquor store set in the middle of nowhere or swallowed a handful of pills and dug myself a grave in the dirt behind the broken house off the side of the highway. I cross my arms and my legs and try to not take up too much space in this car because I fear if I get too comfortable, if I let myself expand just a bit more; I might tell him. I'm trying to hold myself back from shaking too much or not biting my tongue hard enough. I'm trying to choke down the words and the feeling like the thick, sticky cough syrup I had to take when I was younger. I feel the goosebumps rise on my legs, he must have noticed because he reaches over and I almost think he's going to touch me, but he turns off the air. He mumbles a "sorry", and continues driving. I look out the window and run my fingers through my hair, it's tangled from not being brushed and the salt from the ocean has given it an odd texture. I feel his hand rest on my knee and I look at him. He moves like a prayer and the words don't even exist to describe it. I stop moving around, taking root to the passenger seat of a beautiful boys car. He looks at me and smiles, his eye are glistening like he's discovered something he didn't even have a name for.
He parks in the same spot as he did before, right below our rooms. He takes no time hurrying out of the car and locking it once I'm out. I run to catch up with him but he takes the stairs two at a time, like he was trying to prove his legs are longer than mine. He's already standing in front of his door and searching his pockets for his key but I turn away and look at the sky. It's clear and blue, only a few small clouds floating around sporadically.
"Oh, fuck me!" He whispers into the air. I turn around, taking my eyes away from the skyline. Niall is softly hitting his head against the wall beside the door.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
"I forgot to bring my key." He turns around and looks at me. I rub my hands together and shrug.
"Just come in my room, there's an extra bed." He nods, rubbing his eyes. Unlocking the door, I can feel his eyes on me. The feeling from the ride home has been carried with me. We have done something horrible and now we are sneaking back into my motel room at an ungodly hour after being gone for 5 hours alone with a boy.
"Keep quiet," I whisper over my shoulder to him. He holds his finger to his lips and winks at me. I turn red again. I tiptoe to the farthest bed from the door, making sure I don't make a sound that could awake Ivy or Wren who are hidden under their blanket. I wouldn't have even known they were there if it wasn't for their feet and hair staying visible.
We make it to the bed and I quietly slip under the pink duvet while Niall falls face first beside me.
"Shut up!" I whisper through my teeth. He looks at me and mouths a 'sorry', then crawls under the covers. We end up laying with our faces 4 inches apart and I close my eyes to pretend he's farther away.
"This is so romantic," he says.
"Seriously, shut up."
"Sorry, baby." I feel his kiss my nose and I open my eyes. His eyes are already closed and he's curled up into himself like a child. My heart is beating so loud I'm almost afraid he can hear it. Even being terrified to death of the situation, the boy I think I might maybe be in love with being 3 inches from me, I felt secure. I was almost asleep when I felt him trail his fingers up my arm and lock them with my own. That got my heart to stop beating, but maybe he knew that and that's why he did it.
I wake up when the clock on the side table glows 1:24. Niall is still asleep, face down on the bed. I'm begin to doubt he's even breathing until I hear his quiet snoring. Getting dressed, I notice that Wren and Ivy are gone. I pick up my phone to call them but they're already walking in.
"I see that you slept with pretty boy, over there," Wren says sitting on the empty bed. Ivy sits next to her and they both cross their legs and stare at me with amused eyes.
"We went to the store and come home late and he forgot his key."
"Mhmmm," Ivy says, holding up her phone. "There are some pretty scandalous pictures of you two from last night."
"What?" I sit next to her and she scrolls through SEVENTEEN UPDATES on Twitter. The only pictures are of Niall and I in the Walmart, walking together, then checking out and walking back to his car. "Those aren't steamy."
"No, but this is." She presses the home button her her phone twice then switches tabs to a picture of Niall and I asleep. We are facing each other we are holding hands, just like how I fell asleep.
"Delete that." She laughs and shakes her head.
"I wont post it, it's just something I can show your children." I roll my eyes and fall backwards on the bed. "Or maybe I'll post it when you guys announce your engagement."
"I just need you to know I hate you." She dramatically grab my head and kisses my cheek before she stands up.
"Come on, we are going downtown for a squad brunch since you missed breakfast."
We leave to go to some bakery downtown Ivy have developed an obsession for, with John still asleep on the bed. Ivy drives since she's the only one who knows where it is while Wren talks and I do my makeup in the mirror.
"So what did you guys really do?"
_____________________________
"She guessed my favorite color on the first try," I can't hold back my smile and run my hand through my hair, "I didn't have a favorite color until we were at the beach talking at like 4am and it was a weird deep talk, then it was just random stuff. Anyway, we were trying to guess each other's favorite colors and I avoided guessing pink because I already knew that was her favorite, but when she was guessing mine, she yelled blue so could some birds around us flew away. She was so fucking happy and excited, she was smiling like a little kid!" I explain with a laugh. "So I told her she was right. I haven't seen blue the same since, it's in everything. Her hair was blue when we met, her nails are chipped blue, the sky is blue, her favorite candy. I kinda like this little blue bubble I'm in with her."
They all look at each other and Liam sighs. I groan and rest my head on the table. They came banging on the door at the door at 2, telling me they wanted to go get food but I had the car key. The girls were already gone so I decided to get food with them, where they slyly tried to ask me about my night out.
"I'm gonna be honest dude, I don't know what to say. This has never happened before, I never expected you to be the one with girl trouble."
"Shut up."
"Start slow then, do something alone with her." I stare at Louis and he stays still.
"I was alone with her all night."
"I know that, like take her to lunch or something and avoid being a cocky asshole."
"Well, that might be a little hard that's my entire personality."
"You can be nice if you try," Harry interjects. I look at him and frown.
"I am fucking nice."
"Dude, make up your mind are you an asshole or are you nice?" I sit up straight and eat a fry.
"I'm a cocky angel sent from God."
____________________________
"Do you wanna see a movie?" Niall leans up against the railing beside me and I jump, not knowing he was even at the motel. He was gone when I got back and that was 2 hours ago.
"Which movie?"
"Dunno, you in?" I agree, telling him I have nothing better to do. Walking to his car, he tells me that the theater is only about 10 minutes away. The air blowing from the vents is cold against my knees but it doesn't bother me this time, rather it makes this drive more comfortable. I turn on the radio and hear my song playing through the speakers. I stare at Niall with a probably horribly gross goofy grin, but I don't give a shit right now. He glances over at me and smiles.
"What's with the face?"
"Listen." He switches his gaze between me and the road in front of him.
"This is a good song," he says before turning up the volume and horribly belting out the lyrics after he hears them.
"This is my song!" I yell at him and he stops singing.
He turns down the music and looks at me. "I've heard that song before, I didn't know it was you."
"Well it is, it was the song that got me my record deal." He smiles and runs his hand through his hair. He parks in front of the entrance and looks at me.
"That's fucking amazing, how does it feel."
"I throw up flowers and positive vibes. The air is lighter."
We smile at each other and get out of the car. He pays for the tickets, insisting he needs to use the coupons he got before they expire and I stand back and let him buy 2 tickets to the next movie showing, not even asking what it would be. After getting the tickets, he opens the door, bowing down and motioning for me to walk in first. I play along and curtsy before walking in. He stops me from walking past the concessions and into the theater to buy popcorn and a drink. He momentarily whines because of the pink lemonade I order when he tells me I can choose the drink.
The trailers are just ending when we walk in. I follow him to the very middle of the theater and sit down beside him. He whispers to me about he has to be in the exact center or else he will get a headache. I tell him he is just annoyingly selective. The movie ends up being Spy and neither of us care enough to comment on it. Halfway through, I notice Niall looking at me, rather than the screen.
"Are you even going to watch the movie?" I sip the lemonade i made him buy and he flashes his crooked smile.
"Well that part is entirely up to you." He leans closer to me and I shove popcorn in his face.
"Shut up and stop doing that."
He giggles and stuffs a handful of popcorn into his mouth.
The movie ends at 7 and we all planned to have dinner together at 6 but both Niall and I have the car keys so they couldn't get anywhere to eat because apparently Outback isn't good two nights in a row. I missed 8 calls when we exited the theater and they were all from Ivy and Wren meanwhile Niall had 103 from just Harry. The sun is setting when we are driving back to the hotel.
"You're kinda like the sunset." I look at Niall and laugh.
"Is that a compliment?"
"You see, the sunset doesn't care if we watch it or not. It continues to be beautiful even when nobody is watching."
"Well, thanks."
"You're welcome." It's kind of weird and I get the sense that he doesn't give out compliments very often, but it makes me smile nonetheless. With him, it's not, I think youre pretty it's you're like the sunset because you're beautiful even when nobody is watching. I feel like the sunset with him.
When we pull into the motel parking lot, we see our friends sitting on the curb and i can't hold back my laugh. We get out of the car and Wren stands with her hands on her hips and a frown on her lips. She looks like my mom.
"Where have you been?"
"We saw a movie. Are you guys hungry? I'm hungry." I hand her the keys and walk to our car. I sit in the backseat while Ivy and Wren question me.
"We saw a movie, that's it. Leave it alone." They sigh and give up when I don't answer.
We eat at a buffet, sitting in a room away from all the other customers. The manager thought we deserved special treatment because my songs on the radio and Ivy's face in on the TV. Because they've seen us all in a magazine. The waitress asked us for a picture and I wouldn't let them take it unless everyone was in it with us. After we get our drinks, I wander to get food with Niall. We grab a plate from the ones they have stacked and I head straight for the mashed potatoes.
"Fun fact about mashed potatoes, your body thinks all potatoes are mashed," Niall says grabbing the serving spoon from me.
"I will stab myself in the hand if you tell me another fun fact."
"That's a bit intense, don't you think?" He follows me to the salad bar.
"Did you know-"
"Tell me about your mom." He stops helping himself to the croutons and stares at me.
"What?"
"Tell me a story about her." He looks at something off in the distance and his crooked smile slowly grows.
"She used to take me to the art museum downtown and she would crouch down and tell me about how god lives inside the malls of art museums. I'm not religious but I thought it was so odd that a man would live in a wall." We start walking back to the table but that doesn't stop the flow of his story. "She started taking me to the Musical Instrument Museum and that's kind of where I fully decided I wanted to make music. I wanted to be a part of the museum, that was my dream when I was 6."
"20 years later and you're here."
"Yeah," He says, sitting down, "maybe I'll take you there sometime."
"Okay." I take a bite of my zucchini and he smiles down at his food before eating. I don't think there was any 5 minute span of the 2 and a half hours we were there that one of us wasn't laughing. It started with Niall daring Ivy to eat all of the macaroni and Ivy taking that as she needs to shove her mouth so full of it that she chokes. It lead up to me having to grab cotton candy and sit at random empty places at people's tables and just sit there and eat it without saying a word. I sit at a table of teenagers and one of the girls stares at me with wide eyes and i frown when I see I have run out of cotton candy.
"Oh shit," I look in the direction of our table and see all of them cracking up. I look back at the people at the table I'm at and see them taking pictures of me.
"Oh, hi." I end up taking several pictures with them and signing their shoes. When I get back to our table, Niall kisses my cheek and smiles.
"How about you go convince them you're their grandson," I tell Niall and the guys start cheering him on. I watch as he smoothly talks to the couple about how they are related. I know he has convinced them when he sits down beside the wife and flips us off.
We get back to the hotel at half past 10. Niall kisses my cheek and tells me to sleep well then bids us all goodnight before disappearing into his room. I tell the guys goodnight and then return to my room to collapse on the bed.
"We have to leave tomorrow," Ivy whispers into the cold air. I had forgotten about that. The guys have to get to Arizona and I have to meet up with Trent to finalize the video then get back to Seattle where my tour starts. I was having so much fun in this little world we have created for ourselves, I forgot I have a job to do.
The next morning, I don't want to get up. I don't want to leave the safe haven this hotel has provided. But, I get up. I get dressed and I collect my things from around the room. I walk downstairs and I set my bags in the trunk of the car. When I turn around, the guys are putting their things in their van. Niall is standing next in the sidewalk directly in front of me and my heart stops. I slowly walk towards him and he meets me in the middle. It feels like something out of a dramatic movie.
"We both have to go," he says looking down at me. I lick my lips and stare up at him. We are standing too close, with me looking up and him looking down, our faces are too close. My head hurts and I know I have to tell him or it will burst out at an even worse time.
"Niall?" He hums in response and looks at me. I feel like I've just swallowed a handful of needles and I convince myself that I can taste the metal and the blood. "I love you. Ever since that day in the airport, I stupidly called my mom and told her I just met the most beautiful boy alive. I love you."
"Seventeen, please." I shake my head and rub my eyes. He sighs and tucks my hair behind my ear.
"I do, I'm sorry. It's really fast and stupid but I do. I know you you do too, you wouldn't act like this with me if you didn't." I'm trying to convince myself now. I have to tell myself he does and life if good.
"Sev," he breathes,"don't say that."
"Why not?"
"I'm not-" he stops himself and takes another breath. "Please don't make me do this."
"Do what?" It comes out more aggressive than intended, but I bite the inside of my cheek and pretend I'm as pissed as I sound.
"Seventeen, I'm sorry. I don't-." My heart stops and he stares down at me. He takes a breath and touches my hair again. I push his hand away and he sighs.
"I mean I had a huge crush on you at first, but I don't love you. You're just my friend now, ya know?"
"Oh." My stomach sinks and I can feel myself trying to become smaller. I kind of knew this was coming, but I wasn't prepared for how it would feel. "I have to go, anyway."
"Baby, listen to me."
"It's okay, just forget I said anything."
"Seventeen, listen," he pleads. I stop and look at him. "It's a potential kind of love thing."
"Did you just fucking quote me? Now? Now is not the time for you to crack jokes."
"Take a breath, okay. Wren told me that story and I was trying to lighten the mood, I'm sorry. But, please, listen to me." I breathe slowly and let my shoulders drop. I nod and he continues. "I could love you, baby, but I don't right now. I really fucking like you but it's been confirmed that I don't really have emotions so it might take a little while." He smiles and I swear my lungs are about to collapse.
He opens his arms and I quickly walk right into them.
"Calm down I'm not trying to rip your heart out or something." I let him hold me for a moment. When he speaks again, his voice is raspy.
"Please never say I love you like it's an apology ever again, baby." He kisses my hair and gives me a push towards the car where Ivy and Wren wait for me. He stays standing by the entrance and I bite my tongue as I walk. I reach for the door handle, holding my breath.
"Hey, baby?" He yells. I turn around too fast and see him running. He has a grin smacked on his lips and when he reaches me, he doesn't hesitate to push me against the car door and tangle his fingers in my hair. He stops kissing me and smiles.
"I'll see you later