GHØST (Niall version)

Ghost

"It didn't work out."

    He had his head somewhere else and I honestly thought he was the reason the sun rose and set. He liked late night drives to clear his mind and he brought me so he felt less alone and I thought I was filling a void in him but he didn't need me. He's content with his sharp edges and dead end
s. He thinks they give him his own edge, always asking questions makes him seem more beautifully spoken and he fed himself off the admirable looks he got when he started being philosophical. I think he got off on making everyone feel like they were lower; not as smart. He doesn't have any fluctuations in his emotions, he doesn't get mad or sad, he smiles a lot but it's a front. He smiles because he has the ability to do so. Other than that, he is completely flat.
After our getaway in LA, I had a tour to go on. It was my first headlining tour and I spent the 7 weeks with 5 Seconds of Summer. Niall and I kept talking the whole 2 ½ weeks leading up to the Phoenix show. He promised he would come out and see me then we could go out to dinner and hang out. The night of the show, I couldn't stop smiling. I changed my outfit 3 times because I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted him to look at me and think, wow.
I went out on stage after Ashton tried to hug me in his sweaty state. I duck under his arms and walk to the side of the stage while he retreats to the green room to cool off. Once my set is up, I walk out and look for him. The room is dark and there's almost 400 kids here and I can't see a lot so I don't feel bad about it. After the show is over, I walk outside with Calum and Michael to our tour bus. We take pictures with some fans and in the crowd that is slowly becoming smaller and smaller, I still don't see him. He didn't show up. Ashton and Luke join us a few minutes later and Ashton picks me up, carrying me onto the bus. I sit in the back where my bed is and dial Niall's number. It rings a few times before I hear his mellow voice telling me to leave a message.

    "Hey, Niall! It's Seventeen. I missed you at the show tonight.. I get that you probably had something come up but it would have been fun to see you again. I'm here until tomorrow afternoon, maybe we could have breakfast or something. I don't know, call me. Bye."

    Everyone except for Luke and I go to sleep. He sits beside me on the bed and frowns at me when I won't tell him what's wrong.

        "It's okay," he says, "you don't have to tell me."
    I wonder why I can't be hooked on a boy like Luke. Why did I choose a flakey, emotionally detached, Irish boy.

    "Can you just stay with me for a while? It will make me feel better." He agrees and lies on my queen sized bed watching Cake Boss with me. All the guys complained because they had twin sized bunks and I had my own room and a big bed to myself.

    The next morning, Luke is asleep in his bunk rather than on my bed with me. I check my phone, but my heart drops when I see I have no notifications. No calls from him, no texts.

    I have a show at the radio station, 93.7 at 11 so I get up and get dressed, waking the guys while trying to find my jeans.

    "You alright there?" Michael asks with a laugh.

    "Fucking peachy. Where the hell are my black jeans?" I dig through my clothes, I don't know what happened but I went from sort of sad to really pissed off.

    "Calm down, they're right here." Luke jumps off the top bunk and picks them up off the floor behind me. "Take a breath."

    I frown and throw the pants on my bed and Luke pulls me into a hug.

    "Breath. You can take a nap when you get back, alright?" I nod and take a step back. He smiles and leaves so I can change, shutting the sliding door behind him. I sit on my bed in my underwear for 15 minutes before finally pulling on my clothes. The guys decide to come with me downtown. At the station, I play 3 of my songs then answer a few questions.