If I Could Tell You (Percico)

Chapter Twenty Nine

Luke

I sensed a lie.

Because trust me, Percy can't lie for shit. Not to me, that is.

But either way, it didn't much matter after we left Journeys because Thalia showed up and ratted out my ass and made me feel terrible for the rest of the day.

I already felt guilty when I saw all of them and when I found out they wanted to come here. I didn't know Quinn invited them until last night. It was all him. He knew I missed my friends from New York and he wanted to meet them. So he found who he could.

This caused argument that night, though. Between Thalia and Percy. Which I wasn't expected.

It was later, and I was about to go and get a midnight snack. For whatever reason, Thalia and Percy were out there. Percy asked why she ratted me out.

"Because nobody else would," she told the son of Poseidon. "I get that sometimes the gods aren't the best people, but neither are we! He didn't have to do what he did. You should be more pissed off than me, he poisoned you through a scorpion!"

"Well wouldn't you!" I was shocked when Percy took my side in this. "If you didn't die, wouldn't you have done the same thing? You watched your dad walk out and take Jason, right? Doesn't that piss you off? At all?"

"No, he had to."

"No, he didn't." He tried to explain to her. "He didn't want to deal with having to worry about a stupid prophecy and made a rule in 1993 that gods couldn't be with their kids. That was your dad and my dad and Nico's dad that made that decision and nobody else thought it was a bad idea. And you're not pissed off?"

Thalia looked at him like he was dumb.

"I'm not like you are, Jackson," she for harsh, resorting to his last name. "Okay? I ran away anyways. Jason is back either way. It didn't matter that he left, because I left, too. Why the hell would ever think about joining what Luke did?".

And the son of Poseidon snapped.

"Because why the fuck wouldn't I, Thalia?" Perseus Jackson snapped and kind of scared the shit out of both of us. Even thought they didn't know I could see and hear them from the hall. "My dad was an inconsiderate asshole that left my mother pregnant with nothing to her name and nobody that was willing to help. She had to marry an asshole just so I wouldn't die. Okay? The first thing my dad told me was that he was sorry I was ever born. I was already suicidal by then, do you think that helped anything?"

Thalia didn't respond.

"It didn't." Percy answered for her. "All it did was make me want to go back to Cabin 3 and slit my throat. But I didn't, because I refuse to hurt my mom like that. Because she was the only person that ever cared about me up to that point. I wanted to go with Luke. I wanted to tell the gods fuck you and everything you are. But I knew I would die if I did so. Staying at camp would just prolong it. So that's why I would've done it. Because they're just a punch of whiny inconsiderate brats who can't deal with their own fucking problems."

Thalia sort of got a little upset, but nothing too bad. They just ended it with she had her reasons, he had his, and it's not like either of them were at camp anymore.

Thalia went to bed, I went to get my snack. And Percy was in a mood.

Why I thought it'd be smart to talk to him, I don't know.

"What're you still doing up?" I asked him, trying to lighten the mood. And he went with it. Acting like what just happened, didn't.

"Couldn't sleep." Percy insisted. "I managed to sleep for like an hour. But I woke up and couldn't fall back asleep. Figured if I came out here and did something, it'd help. But I don't know what to do."

"Sounds reasonable." I remarked and debated if I should bring it up or not. I mean, I know there's something he isn't saying and he just said something that I don't really think anyone knew and... I wasn't sure if it was a good time.

"What?" He asked me.

"Hm?" I responded, confused. "I didn't say anything."

"I know, but you want to." Percy reasoned with me. "I'm a big boy, Luke. I'm not Annabeth, I can take it."

That was the truth. Annabeth can't stand anything when it comes to asking personal questions that she knows I don't know. Percy found that out the hard way. Asked about her family at home when he was still need.

But his voice, it just said that something wasn't right. And I can't assume that what he said about how he felt is still relevant. That was a long time ago. I wouldn't doubt he would get help, or he was getting help already. He did see Chiron a lot considering his position of the time.

"I know you can," I promised. "I'm still sort of half asleep, that's all. When we were talking at Journeys, if you've done so bad in the past with school, why did you ever go to camp after your first summer? What's this exception? You can always do another year."

Percy shrugged.

"I don't know," he told me something he's said a lot tonight. Which added to my idea that something wasn't right. "I just don't want to be the kid that's stupid enough to not graduate because he couldn't pass his classes. The juniors already hate me. And plus, my dad is living with us again and it's weird and every time I get a bad grade I can feel his respect in me go down. As much of an ass as he is, if he sticks around, it'd be nice if he didn't hate me. I'm already not going to college and he didn't like the sound of that."

And I just barely saw it. It was barely visible in his expression and a little easier to note in his voice, but still not easy.

He was insecure.

He had problems that went deeper than having a sister or not graduating. He was just using that as an excuse.

I know this because Quinn was like this when we first met in middle school. He opened up to me in 9th grade not long after we started dating. He had anxiety.

And I couldn't tell you Percy's problem, but it was bugging the shit out of him. Even worse, he refused to let it out. He was balling and caging it all up.

I tried to talk him into it that night. Asking about this and that and bugging him but he never budged behind that. He let it barely show once and that was all I ever saw. They left the next morning.