Protecting Nash

Chapter 6

I didn’t sleep that entire night. It felt like I had a million thoughts running through my mind. I had no idea how I was going to break the news to Nash when I had to leave. Hopefully it won't be anytime soon. Once I left, I wouldn't be allowed to keep in touch with him. I can't imagine having to do that. I wish I would have never come on this mission, so I would be spared the heartbreak that would surely follow.

For now, I focused on the happy things, like how ecstatic I was at the moment. I was laying in bed after that wonderful night a few hours. I can picture everything so clearly in my mind. I don’t remember falling asleep, but I’m sure that I was still smiling when I did.

~~~~~

“Molly, can I ask you a serious question?” Nash asks me out of the blue. We were at school in study hall, and were working on our math homework together. I started to get nervous, he never used my full name.

“Ya, what's up?” I ask quietly.

“I feel like there is something that you're not telling me. You are really secretive about certain things, especially your past,” he said to me, and I started to freak out. He can't know, he can't. I could feel my heart beating faster as he continued.

“If there is something that your afraid to tell me because you think I’m going to judge you, then I want you to know that I won't. Ill love you no matter what,” he went on saying. No, he knows I’m hiding something. I’m going to have to go back to the agency. Hes going to find out, and ill have to leave. I don’t want to leave, I can't leave, not now, not ever. I started breathing harder and faster, and felt sweat on my brow.

“Mo, really, I want you to be honest with me, I- “

“Nash, wait, what's wrong with her?” Cameron said, interrupting him.

“Molly? Mo, are you okay? Mo?!”

I was visibly shaking now, and I could no longer hear his words. All I could focus on was having to leave. What if he will be angry at me for lying? No, this can't be happening. My thoughts came rushing at me and I couldn’t block them out. They were all that filled my head. Amidst my shaking, heavy breathing, and sweating, I realized I was having an anxiety attack.

I haven't had one in years! Why now? Everyone was going to see, I needed to stop. I was trying to think about other things, but they didn’t seem to work. I need to distract myself. I tried to focus on Nash, and cuddling up next to him and watching movies. I thought of us laughing, and playing with Skylynn. Soon, my breathing slowed down, and I realized that Nash was holding me and trying to get my attention.

“Mo, Mo come back to me, I’m right here, you'll be okay!” He was saying to me, and hugging me. I finally managed to bring myself back to normal, and noticed that the entire class was watching as Nash held on to me and Cam rubbed my hands trying to calm me. I looked up at Nash.

“I'm s-sorry,” I muttered to him.

“Hey, it's okay, you had me scared to death for a second there,” he said, hugging me tighter.

“Class, go back to your seats, Mr. Grier, Mr. Dallas, why don’t you help Mrs. Blue up to the nurses office.” Our teacher instructed, and the three of us exited the room. I felt weak, and my limbs felt heavy. I tried my best to walk, but I needed the assistance of Nash and Cameron in order to make it there.

“Mo, what happened to you?” Nash asked as soon as we left the room.

“Pan-nic attack. Haven’t h-had one in ye-ears,” I tell him. He gets a worried look on his face.

“Did I cause it?”

I don’t answer his question. I don’t want to make him feel bad, and I also don’t want to bring up what happened. Its to much to think about right now.