Kick Me- Of all the sinners, you're first in line. So go to hell and tell the devil I'm not that far behind. Fuck you and your decision, cause it's not mine.
The cold air of the night was having no effect on the burning sensation that consumed Kellin's body. The copper taste of blood being unwilling to leave his mouth; the pounding ache of his head and chest making it hard for him to even stay sitting up. But with the alternative being to lay on the side walk against a wall, at the end of a random neighbor hood, he'd rather put up with the challenge. But he knew he couldn't sit here all night. No matter how much his body refused, the task at hand was still to finish the journey to the house. He almost considered it his house, and the owner would probably agree; seeing as he spends more time their than anywhere else. Neither of them minded.
After finally forcing himself up, Kellin was finding every step to be more difficult than the last. And every one making it harder to try to walk like a normal person. But he couldn't stop, and he wouldn't. Because he knew that the outcome of staying out in the dark any longer would most likely result in him in the hospital again. That's just how it was out here, there was a reason the town had a curfew.
Though with that thought, Kellin couldn't help but laugh, louder than he meant to. Thinking about how he'd rather stay out all night with local gangs roaming than stay under the roof he was under earlier tonight was just so amusing. And as the laughter made his chest tighten and blood in the back of his throat spill slightly out of his mouth, he was just thankful no one in their right mind was outside right now; so they couldn't notice that he wasn't in his right mind. God knows that these people will throw him in a mental hospital faster than they can say "Lord save your soul." As if God can do anything to help him. God is the one that did this to him.
Kellin almost walked past it, too caught up in his thoughts to notice that he had finally reached the small house. He quickly, or as fast as he could at least, walked up to the door; not even bothering to knock, he just took out his extra key and unlocked the door. When he stumbled inside the first thing he saw was Justin's confused expression turn immediately to concern. He hurriedly jumped up from his spot on the couch and rushed over to Kellin, who was carefully leaning against the wall, unable to support himself any longer.
"Fuck Kells, you look like shit." Justin said and gently grabbed Kellin's face to assess the damage done. The damage there at least, previous experience told him that the further from his face he gets the worse it'll be. Yes, as much as Justin hated it, this had happened more than once. And every time it did, his hatred towards the people occupying their small town grew more and more; for everything that they had put his best friend through. He had known Kellin since they were kids and he knew that there wasn't a single person out there less deserving of this than him. He had never known Kellin to ever do anything wrong, or be anywhere close to less than an amazing person. But as the years slipped by achingly slow, so did Kellin. Justin could still remember the first day Kellin showed up to his door looking not much better than he did now, and that was the first time he noticed the light that usually lit up Kellin's ocean colored eyes had been replaced with what Justin could only describe as hopelessness. And with every bruise and cut placed on his skin, the look deepened.
"Thanks hill. I was actually trying to go for a winter casual look." Justin rolled his eyes at his friends attempt of a joke as he practically carried him to the couch. "I can't fucking believe those assholes. This is the second time this week." Justin mumbled as he gently pulled up Kellin's shirt, trying his best to get it off the boy's small frame without hurting him anymore. "Yeah, well, that's my parents for you." Kellin hissed out as Justin lightly ran his hand over a long, deep, cut running along his side; he didn't even want to know what caused it. "Don't call them that. They aren't your parents. They shouldn't be considered any of their parents." He mumbled as he sat back, looking at his friend again. "I don't see why not. They're just like them. They all just sit there, watching. If you ask me, the services paired them up perfectly. Almost like they're their real parents." Kellin laughed at his own joke as, again, the blood resting in the bottom of his throat found its way up to his lips. "Fucking Christ Kellin. I'm calling Vic." Justin said and stood up, only for Kellin to reach out to him, trying to pull him back. "No, please, Justin you cant tell him he-"
"Nick!" Justin called to his roommate, ignoring Kellin's request. "Call Vic for me, please? Tell him he needs to get over here!" He knew exactly why Kellin didn't want his boyfriend here, to see him like this. Vic always blames himself when this happens. Although his reasoning for it is understandable, they knew better. It was never Vic's fault. After all, he couldn't help falling in love with Kellin; and vice versa. No, the people to blame for this were the ones that Kellin could never escape. His parents, although Kellin would never for a moment consider them part of his family. Unlike his family, these people were at least responsible.
Unlike any normal family, they didn't know how to think of anyone before they thought of their own beliefs. They would never take in a black kid. They would never even think of taking in a Jewish kid, or God forbid, Muslim. They would have never taken in Kellin if they had known. If they had known he was a fag. And he almost wishes that they had known. That they would have left him in that orphanage. It may have been awful, but that house is true hell.
So no, Vic wasn't to blame for Kellin getting "the gay beaten out of him" nearly every day. His foster parents were. His foster siblings, who sat and watched, were. The child services that put him there were. His dead beat dad and substance craving mother. God. They were to blame. Vic was the only one who ever made Kellin feel like it wasn't his fault. Assured him that Kellin wasn't to blame. Assured him that he didn't deserve it, and that everything will get better. The minute he turns 18.
Kellin had zoned out for a while now, only coming back to reality when the front door opened. He looked up to see his wide eyed lover staring down at his mangled torso, his gaze making its way up to his face. "I'm sorry." He barely whispered as he gently sunk into the couch next to him. "Don't be. Please, don't ever be." Vic shook his head as he carefully placed a hand over Kellin's bruised side, making him take in a sharp breathe. "You think they're broken again?" Justin asked from the other side of Kellin, seeming to come from no where. "At least fractured." Vic mumbled and reached for the bag Justin had out on the table. He pulled out the disinfectant and bandage, starting with cleaning the gash on his other side. While Vic worked, Justin held Kellin still as gently as he could. He knew all too well that it hurt, and that Kellin seemed to have a hard time even staying conscious.
After a slow, tedious process, Vic had completed his work on his boyfriend. Kellin was half asleep at the end, leaning on Justin and occasionally let out a struggled cough. "You staying, Vic?" Nick asked as he walked from the kitchen with a glass of water in hand. "Yeah, I'll stay. Let's get him to bed." He picked Kellin up gently and followed Justin to the spare room that he had claimed years ago. Once he sat him down on the bed, Nick was by his side with the water and two ibuprofens. "Alright, we'll let you guys get some rest. Let me know if you need anything else." Vic nodded as the two left the room and shut the door. "Babe..." he turned when he heard Kellin groan from his place on the bed. He took his shoes and shirt off before crawling next to Kellin and laying down to face him. "How are you feeling?"
"Like death. How about you?" Kellin mumbled with his face stuffed in the pillow. "I'm doing okay." Vic said with a small smile. "What did you even do?" Kellin snorted at the question and turned his head to look at Vic. "He wouldn't let me go out cause he knew I wanted to see you. So I told him to go to hell, and then tell Satan I'm not far behind." Vic couldn't help but smile at the proud look on his smart ass of a boyfriend. But his smile faltered when the pride did too, and Kellin cuddled up closer to him. "I'm sorry. That you have to see me like this. That you have to deal with this too."
"Hey," Vic held him impossibly closer. "Don't be." He looked down into the blue eyes he that wanted to look at for the rest of his life. "Please, don't ever be."
Woah hey guys what up. Quick note that you can skip if you want but I'd appreciate if you read.
So basically everything is absolutely not okay but that's fine I guess. I just want you guys to know that I'm not pulling that shit where I'm like "life is falling apart so I can't write right now sorry" I'm more like my life is falling apart right now so I'm probably going to write even more. Cause what else can I really do. It distracts me. And I'm going to work more on that one story I've been planning, I want to try to get it up at least by Christmas. So, sorry this one was kinda depressing, most of them are though. Oh well. I'm actually pretty proud of this one.
