Under the moonlight

Chapter 12

Kojo's pov

D is the bane of my existence, if I am even allowed to say that. I cannot imagine my life without her anymore. She has become like an overgrowth on me, in the most spectacular way of course. Things were working out well for us, until that venomous girl, Namuli,  decided to show her miserable face. That face of hers that still makes me wonder how I could have fallen for her. How could I have lowered my standards that much?  Well, to be fair, they were not that high, until D came my way.

Namuli was among the countless girls who wanted to be with me. Unlike others, she made it so obvious. She did not try to hide it, not a surprise at all. I did not want to pay attention to her because I knew that she could cling onto someone, worse than a leech. I liked challenges, girls who made me sweat it, but she made it so easy for me. Her constant visits to my home, in guise of helping my mother with chores and then shamelessly extending her visits.
Being the carefree person I was, I decided to give in to what her eyes had always been asking for. It was never that serious for me, but I did not know that she had plans of her own.

"Kojo, what do you think about marriage? "

What?! I had not thought of thinking about marriage at all. At least not yet.
The fact that I had just been initiated into manhood meant I could marry, but I did not think I was ready, yet, at least not to Namuli.

"I don't know. I... I am just not ready. "

Why was I suddenly shaking?  That never happens to me.

Don't worry, Kojo. Just say that you feel the same way that I do. "

How could I just say, when I did not even feel anything? I could not get myself to feel anything. And I could not lie to her. The hope in her eyes was really not comfortable for me.

"I cannot, Namuli. I am so sorry. "

I am sure I saw her eyes flash with disappointment and suddenly, anger.

"You are sorry, Kojo?  You have not yet seen sorry in its entirety. You cannot just take me to the top, and drop me like that will all the impact you have got. You will surely learn what it means to be sorry. "

I felt something tug at my stomach, or was it my intestines?  Guilt or maybe fear. It could not be fear, maybe it was just the meal that I had just had.
I did not know what exactly to say to her, so I just stood and stared at her, one of the stupid things I am really good at.

After Namuli walked away that day, I never thought much about her threat. She never acted on it either, probably because she did not deem the other girls competition enough,until Dembe came along. I do not blame her though, because the mere sight of D is enough to shake the stability of various relationships in this village. But why had Namuli decided to unleash her chaos at the very moment when I was genuinely happy? Well, that is just typically her.

For days I have been trying to reach out to Dembe and apologize but she had been avoiding me and it is slowly killing me. She never comes to the stream anymore and I cannot even dare go to her home.

I admit that I have been stupid. I should have said something in her defense or at least pushed Namuli away, but I did not. My flimsy nerves decided to boycott duties at that crucial moment and I just stood there,stupefied, like I was pinned down.
I saw Namuli whisper something into D's  ears, I could not tell what it was, but she could not have been whispering honey coated words. Honey and Namuli in one sentence is an oxymoron. D's expression had suddenly changed and her eyes glistened. She would cry any moment, and then she just walked away.

Honestly, sometimes I think that when I was born, I was dropped and hit my head. How else could you explain my rare moments of stupidity?
I knew that Dembe was hurt but I just stood there and watched her go. It was very clear that she did not want me to see her tears, but I did not mind. With me she could be anyone she wanted to, at least that is what I thought.

I watched her run, slip away from my not-so-firm grip and all I could do was shout her name, of which I am not so sure was loud enough.

Oh, Kojo, you can be so foolish at times.

I should have run after her, but it is too late for regrets, right?

Sometimes in the past few days I have been going to our spot, hoping that she will show up, but trust my girl, she never did.
My last resort was Kia. I lit the fire of courage in me and went to talk to her, fearing for my head all through it.
I had promised never to hurt her best friend and there I was, asking her to talk to her on my behalf because I had hurt her. How messed up can I get?

Kia agreed to talk to D and I was so grateful because she also let me keep my head. :-)

The dance is coming and I do not know what will happen if D dies not show up. Perhaps, this is the price have to pay for being stupid.

******

Thank you for reading.

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Love,
Daisy. 💋