Under the moonlight

Chapter 25

Kojo's pov

Everything around me suddenly stopped moving. I knew that life was going on around me but I could not tell exactly what was happening.
I held Mulutu in my arms and watched as he closed his eyes, breathed his last and finally grew cold. I could not believe that he had gone. Gone just like that. We had plans. He promised that he would stay alive and there he was, lying lifeless in my arms.
I was angry with him. We had made a promise to each other the night before and he broke.
Without second thoughts, I found myself shaking him violently and screaming,

"Lutu! Lutu!  You cannot give up in everything like this. You made a brotherhood promise and you just cannot break it. We never break promises, remember. We have to get you home. Lutu!  Please. "

I hoped that he was hearing whatever I was saying but at the very back of my mind I knew he could not. He would never hear me again, but I was not going to give up.
It was not expected for a man to cry that openly. Showing your weaknesses like that as a man was unheard of, but at the moment I did not care about what was allowed and what was not. My best friend was dead. The only brother I had ever had.
He was full of life just a few hours before and now he lay there, cold and lifeless. But even in death, Mulutu found a way to be cheerful, because there was this smile plastered on his face. It was a smile of pain,  but also one of relief, I guess from the pain that he had felt.

I sat there with his lifeless body for a very long time. I was aware that we had won the war as the other warriors were busy singing victory songs. I could not understand how they were so happy when many of our men lay lifeless. I later can to understand that it was an honor to die for your community. Clearly, all the lessons I went through after initiation had no impact on me at that moment. Or maybe it was just the disbelief that Mulutu was no more.

I only realized that I was shedding tears after hour of sitting there. I had never cried that openly and I did not even feel ashamed. Mulutu deserved more than just tears.
After sitting there for so long, I was pulled away from Mulutu by one of the other warriors. I came to a realization that he was no longer Mulutu, but just one of the bodies that we were going to take home with us and give them an honorable burial. I could not help but think about his family. How will they hold up? What if it was me?  Would Mama have managed to go on living without me? What about Dembe? I am sure she would have been killed inside. I could not bear the pain of thinking about that.
The questions really troubled me and I found myself lost in my own little world thinking of all the times I had shared with Mulutu.

"Lutu, I know that I am going to marry that Dembe girl one day. "

"One last time, do not call me Lutu. I am no longer five years old and about, Dembe, you are dreaming Kojo. "

I knew that he was only saying that to tease me. He knew that when I wanted something, I went for it with all my heart. He believed in me.

"You know you do not mean that. You know that I can get any girl I want in this village. "

"Of course Kojo, you can get any girl you want, but forget about Dembe. She will never look your way, but just in case, I will be at your wedding downing all the wine. "

He had said those words in jest, but at the moment when I thought about it I realized that I wanted them to come true real bad. I wished that Mulutu would be there when I married my D.
I wanted him to be there when had my children, who were to grow up and become friends with his own children, but now he was gone.
He was gone and there was no way he was ever going to come back.
Growing up, we were told stories about reincarnation, but I never took them seriously. I did not believe in those stories.
Remembering Mulutu's lifeless body suddenly made me believe in reincarnation even if it was just for a moment.
I wanted him to come back.

After the war and our win, it was now time to go back home.
It had been days since we had left the village and seemed really strange, more so, I was going back without Mulutu, the only friend inhad grown up with since childhood.
We were all going to meet our loved ones, the ones we left behind, the ones we went to fight for. It is a moment all of us had been looking forward to since we left but the pride in us did not allow us to admit.
It was going to be a bitter sweet experience since we were also going back with the fallen warriors.
I wondered how their families would take their loss.

The journey back home was one filled with joy because we had emerged victorious. The other warriors around me were chanting victory songs and I was trying so hard not to think of Mulutu.
I joined in and after a few songs I was feeling lighter.
Although I was feeling really bad,  a part of me was yearning to get to the village so that I could set my eyes on the ones I hold dear. I could not wait to see Mama and Dembe.
I knew that Mama must have been dying of worry all those days that we were away. I knew that she must have cried herself to sleep every night and just the thought of it gave me chills. She needed to see me.

As for Dembe, was she even thinking of me?  Was she okay?
Of course I knew that she was not fine.
I could still remember the look that she had in her eyes the day that we left. She was worried and it was crystal clear that she did not want me to leave, but we cannot always have what we want.
I am pretty sure that none of the families I'm the village wanted their sins and fathers to leave home and go fight, but we all had to go.
I imagined that when Dembe would See Me she would break into a run and embrace me while shedding tears of joy.
Too much? Well, a boy can dream. ;-)

******

"There's so much untapped softness in some men. "
    ~Upile Chisala.

It's okay for Kojo, to cry like that, right? 😂

Thank you for reading.

Love,
Daisy. 💋