my heart was heavy at the somber scene
though my tears were disingenuous
because I'll forever be incredulous
that you're gone
I wish desolation into my thoughts
because it is imperative that your face doesn't fade into my mind
like it does every time I close my eyes
because I will fall apart then and there
and however inane I can't think about you
I'll be explicit
my thoughts are egregious
my wishes pure insolence
and I want you back
no matter how much you were suffering
because on the day of that somber scene
with even the maple leaves silenced in grief
with my words and stomach twisted
I missed you
