In Silence And Tears

Secrecy

In my world drained to black and gray
From the light I knew, I started to stray
Caught up in the darkness that is calling for me
I tasted the world and enjoyed the pleasure of it

I told myself I'm far away from the light
But little did I knew, I was just blind
I mingled with my strongholds
Oh I couldn't see in front of me is the thing that could hurt me the most

And yes, I didn't know anything about life
Without weapons and armour, I jumped into the battlefield
Against my demons, I instantly lost the fight
I betrayed my angels and got consumed by the night

But some moons came and shared its light
But those weren't really bright enough to guide me right
I astrayed farther and lost my sight
Almost blurred the line of wrong and right

I stumbled to my own feet
And drowned in my ocean of fear
Chained to the heavy rock of self-created problems
I couldn't swim up and gasp for air

The more I attempt to break free,
The more I die inside
The more I try to scream for help,
The more I find myself surrounded by endless darkness

I lost myself in the process of finding thrill
I lost myself in the process of finding me
I lost myself in the process of looking for love and life
I lost myself in the start of my journey

I lost myself and still wish I didn't
I lost myself, but found you instead
And I really couldn't believe
That all these time you were with me

But I just have to ask,
Are you from the light I was from or a demon in disguise?
Are you here to save me or to drown me more?
Are you here to lead me further astray or to lead me back home?

I wouldn't deny that my heart screams your name
Though my mouth constantly speaks of somebody else
A cover-up or disguise, that only I knows so I could hide
A not so common secrecy, of myself to another me

I really couldn't explain in my own words,
But if I was asked to shout my love to the whole world,
I'd rather whisper it to your ears
Do you know what I mean?